tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-200121882024-03-13T05:56:17.177-07:00Too Fat to Facebook!I have six months to reshape my life. I can do this.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.comBlogger126125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-76993800792860781402011-05-11T17:04:00.000-07:002011-05-13T13:27:52.424-07:00McKinley BethJune 21st I will get to meet the strongest little girl. Her name is McKinley Beth. And she is my daughter. I have not yet blogged about her because A) I have not blogged that often and B) I was a little selfish and in a bitter little blue funk about McKinley. God decided that she should start her life off with some mysterious issues. So we have this omphalocele quandary to deal with. Danielle has been so strong and so level and centered the entire pregnancy. She has been the very center for our family. I have been the furthest flung planet in the Smith galaxy. But the past month I have been bringing my focus back around to what is truly important. Jackson and I have logged a boatload of daddy/son time. We wrestle. We talk. We sing. And we talk about how he has to be a good big brother for Baby McKinley, since she is "not feeling good." That is what I say to Jackson.<br />
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And I have enjoyed seeing McKinley's room fall into place. A nice chandelier, a new crib, a great comfy chair, new paint...it is a relaxing place. You can feel a sense of peace, like just after a fresh rain. A lot of positive ions coursing through there. Now we are collecting all things cute and many things pink. Danielle is quickly becoming an omphalocele expert, finding multiple online support groups filled to the rim with mommies who have been through the same waters we are wading right now. She even made me look at pictures of babies who have omphaloceles, since Baby McKinley's doctor suggested we do it. So we did. It was gross. But I assume when it is my baby girl and her issues, I will be fine with it. I just want to meet her. I want to meet my daughter. I want to see what Jackson is like as a big brother. Although I would like to get through our "head butting" stage first. I want to see what Danielle is like as a mom to a baby girl. I wonder what the differences are being a dad to a little boy and one to a little girl.<br />
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I hope that we are not away from our home for too long after McKinley comes. But if we are, we will be just fine. I am not as anxious or even as angry as I once was. Having a sick baby really modifies the way you think about God and Heaven. Once I worked through my anger, then I worked through a stage where I assumed that this sickness was either mean or arbitrary, either way it sort of tipped me back and forth a bit on where I stood with God. Now I am at a place of acceptance and of hope. And peace. <br />
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I just wanna meet her. June 21 we will. Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-1147130305897566122011-03-08T21:54:00.000-08:002011-03-08T21:54:15.259-08:00Lenten Green LightSo after sort of plateauing at around 30 lbs, I am getting back on track with some deeply liturgical inspiration. As Lent begins tomorrow, I will be getting back on the weight loss wagon. Life sort of speeds up in points and I sort of had a lot of retreating and traveling and celebrating that took place across many dinner tables. But now I am getting back on track.<br />
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Just in time for Lent too. Growing up Lent sort of mattered to me and my family, even though I don't remember much about specific celebrations in my strange mix of Southern Baptist and Disciples of Christ foundational stew. I do remember paying much more attention to the repetition and reverence for the history of the church. The DOC seemed to practice things that stretched back over a longer span of church history than did my grandparents' SBC counterpart. FBC Enid felt like the 1930's, with its bleating of the organ and stomping the pulpit against everything from dancing, boozing, Disney and Bart Simpson. But there was something refreshing about the celebration of the varied Holy Days found in the Advent season and Lent. I like that idea of getting back to the basics of prayer, penitence, giving of alms and self-denial. It really feels very Acts 2. I like how we have to really work hard to do about six weeks a year of what the early church did every day.<br />
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So my prayers will go up more consistently throughout the day. I will be finding private ways to remind myself how humbled I truly am in the presence of a Holy God. I will be giving a ton of clothes and other things away. I will also be denying myself the usual amount of food and distractions. Not to lose weight. But to actually bring more discipline into my life, to be able to live, speak and teach with authority. No more do as I say, not as I do. <br />
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Maybe this Lent finds you in a funk, spiritually speaking. Find ways to incorporate those four markers into who you are for the next six weeks. Pray for me, my spouse, my son and our warrior daughter. We thank you for all your thoughts. Keep them coming.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-76496224646188251172011-02-07T22:00:00.000-08:002011-02-07T22:07:54.351-08:00127 TextsTonight I counted the texts I received from church family, actual family, cherished friends and brothers in ministry. There were 127 of them. 127 people letting me know that they are praying for us. If you are not up to speed on our precious baby 2, check my wife's latest post about it. Click on the link to the right.<br />
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That has all the info you need. My wife is a strong person. She has grown so much since the last bad report at an ultra-sound. And in the grand scheme, we know that God has a pretty special purpose for Baby Smith 2. How can that not be the case? We have 127 confirmations letting us know that they are lifting this up to the Father. I am praying Psalm 127:3-5 and Isaiah 41:10 for my family. If you pray, pray those verses for us as well. And thanks for the 127 texts. People let me know their stories. Some let me know that they were carrying this with us. Some let me know that they were there when needed. Some just wanted to touch base and make sure all is well. One even offered to let me scream, yell or cuss. <br />
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127 is a lot. It sure consumed a lot of iPhone battery. It is a bit humbling to have that many different touches from people. That meant that not only were they affected enough to stop whatever they were doing, they even offered up at least one prayer for us. Some committed to pray more fervently and consistently. And then they went so far as to actually let me know that they were praying. 127 people took at least one minute for me and my family today. At least two hours of prayer of intercession went up on our behalf. All I can say is thanks. <br />
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I will wind down here. But I will say this. I completely stole some advice that was intended for someone else about two years ago. I have two friends named Mike. The older Mike told the younger Mike (both are youth pastors) that he was a minister doing ministry before his kids were born. And now his kids are grown and out of the house and he is a minister doing ministry now too. But when he had kids, that was his only shot to raise them right. That was his priority. He wasn't going to be a great minister and a mediocre father. Now, substitute your job in the place of the words "minister doing ministry." You and I have one shot at raising our kids. That has to be our most noble calling. Not to the detriment of everything and everyone else. But be your best for your kids. Be very present.<br />
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I hope your kids get 127 minutes of thoughts and prayers and time each day. I am going to make that the goal for mine while they are my blessings. 127 minutes. A nudge over two hours. That isn't even as long as one of those fantasy movies that Christians love to claim as parables of faith, redemption and salvation. Am I giving my children 127 minutes? Am I trying?<br />
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I hope and pray that you continue to hope and pray with us. Danielle and Baby J and Baby 2 and I truly covet your prayers. Please give us another minute of your day each day for a while. That is all we ask. That is all we need. If you beseech the heavenly Father for us daily, that is greater than any other gift you could ever send us. And if you give 127 minutes to your kids? Double bonus. We love you and thank you.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-66417940078526448142011-02-04T23:13:00.000-08:002011-02-04T23:17:53.754-08:00Update 3: Shoveling Snow and Insulting Legends and DoctorsSo I haven't been so consistent in updating the blog. I apologize. My wife keeps up with 17 and I can barely keep up with one. So a few updates and then I am off to probably not update for another week or two. One would think with all the snow piling up outside that I would have ample opportunity to work out a blog update. However, that was before I had to shovel Superman's ice fortress of solitude off of my driveway.<br />
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You see, basically we live at the end of a wind tunnel. The wind blows all of the snow in the neighborhood into one massive drift in my front yard. It means I have a four foot drift to dig out of even when there is only about six inches of snow. Last year I was not very prepared to deal with my own Pike's Peak in the drive. This year I was. I attacked the driveway for about an hour three different times. After three plus hours of shoveling and sweating, I had cleared about one third of the drive. At least I can get the cars out. I went back out two days later and cleared a bit more out. The wife was a bit "anxious" about backing out. But now I can safely say that backing out is a "non-issue."<br />
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I want her to be comfortable driving. We still have some tense moments on highway 76 as the best and brightest in the greater Tri-City area continue to set land-speed records on this smallish, two lane highway with the unbelievable and unexplainable speed limit of 65. That is why I dug out more snow on the driveway and why she is already cruising the fine streets of the Metro in a brand new (to us) ride. We got a new car. The wife earned her mom card with a new mini van. It is a delightful black Honda Odyssey. She likes it. The J Train loves it. And it still smells new. And we were finally able to let them cash the down payment check only about two weeks after writing it. Even though the med claim stays open, I do feel mostly a sense of closure about my entire family being in a bad wreck. I still don't like thinking about my pregnant wife and my two year old son being in a wreck that totaled the car they were in. But there is one fun little anecdote I can take from this incident.<br />
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I took her to a hospital about two hours after the wreck so we could have an ultra-sound and hear the heartbeat. We drove out to a hospital in Moore that will remain unnamed as it is a great place and not very crowded. While she was in a room being attended by Norman doctors, my lovely bride managed to be rude and insult not one but three doctors AND Oklahoma's ONLY living inductee into the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame. The hospital we went to is associated with one in Norman. In fact the ER docs pull shifts in both Moore and Norman. So imagine my horror when my wife said, "I am glad to be here and not in Norman. I think they kill people at that hospital."<br />
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She said that. Out loud. Not in some crazy inside voice that you never, ever make known to the listening public. Especially listening public that you are implicating in a building-wide game of death tag. The doctors brushed it off as they would anyone accusing them of "offing" patients. I just stared at her. My other favorite thing was her flippant response to them asking her if she was ever unconscious after the wreck. She would typically answer, "I think I blacked out. It went black. I am not sure. Maybe I just closed my eyes." She wasn't sure if she was unconscious or just blinking. This is the same person who has self-diagnosed herself being allergic to ibuprofin or some such pain killer. But I nixed the "blacking out theory" because I could see myself talking her through two hours in an MRI machine. Ugh. And if it wasn't enough to insult the kind doctors taking care of her, she also managed to insult a living legend in Rock and Roll that I have been angling to meet for almost two years!<br />
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Wanda Jackson is the Queen of Rockabilly and a legend in Rock'n'Roll. She is a true pioneer who recently recorded a great album with Jack White of all people. A week after our meeting she would perform on Letterman. A week after Letterman, Conan. She was also two cubicles down in the ER with her 97 year old mother. I had called my best friend who had served at the same church Wanda attends when she is not RECORDING WITH JACK WHITE or talking about DATING ELVIS PRESLEY! I have her greatest hits on my iPod and iPhone. I listen to them frequently. My buddy saw her there and asked if she would meet me, telling her I was a big fan (quite true) and that my wife was pregnant and in a wreck and we were there checking on the baby. She had graciously agreed and he came in to get me. This had all taken place without my knowledge. I walked out and he said, "Craig, this is Wanda Jackson." I was shocked. I told her it was a great pleasure to meet her and I hated saying this in an emergency room but that I was a big fan. I scored points simply by knowing the band that made Jack White famous (which my very sheltered and sacred friend had not known). While she was telling me about Letterman and Conan, the wife came out and asked me for her driver's license. I gave it to her. Wanda Jackson addressed her too.<br />
"I am glad you are okay, honey" said the Queen of Rock'n'Roll.<br />
"Thank you, ma'am," grunted my loving bride.<br />
Later when I told her who that was and that her own mother was very weak and failing, the wife was more sympathetic. One of the wife's high school friends who has always wanted to meet Wanda was more horrified than I was. But that is the wife. Had it been that guy who hosts The Bachelor, you know, the guy they pay a bazillion bucks to count roses each week, she would have gone apey. She would have introduced me as "a guy from Super Summer" instead of her husband had it been The Bachelor dude. But it was just Wanda Jackson. Ha. We still laugh at that.<br />
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An update on the weight loss: Since we last updated, I am down a total of 25 lbs so far. I have been faithful to workout and the lovely wife has been very patient with my persnickety diet. But it has been effective. My goal is to be down another 15 or so by March 1st. I have a retreat at the end of February with some other youth dudes. I am excited to be down enough weight to actually be in 60th percentile of body mass instead of the 90th. I also like not being the biggest guy in my church. I may not even be top five. I am certainly not top five in youth dudes. Those guys can strap on a feed bag and then wear out a couch cushion. I hope I can help them change that. We will see.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-12773573400550895362011-01-20T20:51:00.000-08:002011-01-20T20:51:18.997-08:00Week 2: Let Me Roll It"I can't tell you how I feel, my heart is like a wheel. Let me roll it." - Macca<br />
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So, this past week was pretty much a roller coaster. My wife and son and Baby 2 (still residing in his womby apartment) were in a wreck last week that totalled the car and threw our world into a week of tears, frustration, appreciation and thankfulness. I haven't really gotten to a place where I have a comfortable enough feel of my heart and emotions so I can write about it. Suffice it to say God and Honda protected my wife and God and Honda and the carseat protected my son and Baby 2 was safe because God and Honda protected him/her as well and Baby 2 is the size of an avocado, according to my iPreggolite app on my iPhone. When I am more comfortable I will write about it. I will say two things before I tell you about the sweaty progress. First of all there is a moment after your family gets smacked by a distracted co-ed going about 65 where you think "I could be all alone right now because of that one moment." It is overwhelming and awful and scary and produces the palpitations. For obvious reasons I don't like to think about it. And secondly it produces extreme perspective. To quote David St. Hubbins, too much perspective. <br />
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I have really done well with the weight loss. I have been logging every day and exercising often and I have lost another six lbs. I am in a good zone. The discipline of wanting to work out is slowly creeping back. I feel better, move better and look better. Thanks for all the encouragement.<br />
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People ask me what I am doing. I am counting calories and working out. I am eating less and eating better and exercising more. That is the trick. FYI, don't believe Suzanne Somers. If you are overweight and cannot lose it, it actually IS your fault. I am not allowed to blame faulty genes or the fact that Burger King sells original chicken sandwiches at a 2 for 5 dollar clip. I am only allowed to blame the owner of the hands shoveling food into my mouth. If you want to lose weight, eat less and exercise more. Eat less sugar and less carbs and less fatty foods. It really is that simple. Plan to lose weight and make appropriate plans. Set a start date that leaves you about a month to prepare. Figure out your workout plan. Clean out the pantry and fridge and freezer. Shop accordingly. Have a farewell tour of your favorite places to eat unhealthy. Then hit the diet and workout hard for about three weeks. After that it really will become a habit. After three weeks, allow yourself a cheat meal where you are allowed a taste of what you miss. Don't go crazy and have a 3000 calorie meal. And add one extra workout in your week. <br />
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That is where I am at. Next week I will have my cheat meal. Maybe. Right now I am not craving anything other than losing 20 pounds in January. I am making good progress. I will check in later. Just know that right now I am going to hit my goal weight by February 6th. Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. Keep them coming.<br />
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Also, there were some funny and awesome moments in that awful week that are related to the wreck. Maybe in a week or two I will write about that.<br />
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So far, down 13 lbs.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-56288278696564066192011-01-10T21:57:00.000-08:002011-01-10T21:57:43.928-08:00Week One: Welcome Back, you Sweat-hog "Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out. Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about." - John Sebastian<br />
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I joined the Body Shop here in Newcastle. Unfortunate name, as it reminds me of watching pro wrestling as a kid in Enid. Jesse Ventura used to host a talk show on WWF TV called "The Body Shop." The gym is nothing like the memory I had as a kid. The gym is quiet. The gym has friendly people. And nobody is busting Superfly Snuka over the head with a coconut. The gym is not crowded with muscleheads. The lone elliptical is always empty. Most folks use the stationary elliptical or the treadmill. I use the machine that has arms or handles that you grab and they move in rhythm with the legs. I use this because I had a trainer in Hot Springs named Allen who said always use this machine (I feel sort of like a Norse warrior as I simulate the cross country skiing) because the one you rest your hands on, that doesn't move, does not replicate real walking unless "you walk with a walker." I trust Allen Black because he lost a ton of weight, keeps it off, trains and participates in iron man competitions and has enough tattoos to really intimidate me into doing whatever he commandeth in the weight room. <br />
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But the Body Shop has everything I need. I use the free weights and the exercise ball and do some core strengthening and I use a few other machines. I have had a successful week of eating. People in my life have been very supportive and my wife has been very patient. I have dramatically cut calories and been faithful to log all I eat and all my exercise into my LoseIt app on my iPhone. The guys who share the app and are my friends on LoseIt have been very good to check on my progress. Thanks Chris, Zac, Dave and Jeremy.<br />
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I have dropped seven lbs so far, which puts me ahead of my weight loss goal for this week. I have not been hungry and I have not been weak. I drink an extra cup of coffee a day to jump start the metabolism. I stopped snacking. I have shunned almost all things sugar except the 100 calorie ice cream bars I sneak occasionally. I exchanged microwave popcorn (popcorn is my true snacking vice, along with Popsicles in the summer) for a hot air poppper and can enjoy a whole bowl for about 100 calories as well.<br />
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I even eat lunch once a month with a group of fellow student pastors and they were all gracious enough to eat at Genghis Grill so I could have a bowl of Mongolian BBQ for under 400 calories. It was awesome and I hope to be back soon. Thanks to my brothers in arms for being so faithful. I appreciate each one of them more than they know. Today I had some great encouragement from Micah, Nick, Sonny, Josha (sic according to his church's web page), Zac, Tribs and Kent. About 20 guys braved the snow and came for some fellowship. These guys can really be such a lifeline for me. And the encouragement and the high fives and the prayers mean a lot. Not every state has this sweet fellowship among youth ministers. <br />
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And my church hasn't really had a chance to celebrate with me but one guy has been on me about keeping up with the workouts and I am thankful for Jeff for that.<br />
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My only real goal is to be thinner and healthier by the time our second child is born in late June or early July. My friend Chris (another youth guy who refuses to eat with us but does send his regards most months) cared enough to speak some good truth in love into my life about being there to see my son graduate and get married. I don't ever want Jackson to know or have memories of me being so big. I don't like not really fitting into thrill rides or asking for lap extensions on planes (those days are thankfully behind me) and I hate forcing skinny, disciplined people to sit at a table instead of a more comfortable booth because I simply don't fit into a booth (another fifteen pounds and those days are gone too). I have since fleshed this out into actual weekly weight loss goals with six big goals to be rewarded along the way. <br />
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My wife has been so good and so understanding for me and with me. She doesn't say anything when I prepare something different for myself then what she and my son eat. And she indulges me as I buy weird low cal foods in hopes to stumble across something to add to an ever-growing menu. By the way, low cal turkey tacos and Craig McMuffins are my favorite. I had the tacos three times this week and have one serving left. Three tacos for about 335 calories. So good too. Full of flavor.<br />
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I am also diving into one focus in my devotional times. I read one chapter a day. I invite one person to church a week. I memorize one verse a week. And I focus my prayer life on 5 requests a day. When I get my eating and exercising in order, everything else falls into place. I hope to be able to meet with three or four guys at Super Summer Week 3 this year and give them some workout tips and actually work out with them, hoping to help them out. But I cannot do this if I am THIS big then. So I charted my plan into an excel spreader. I log my cals and workouts on LoseIt<br />
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I am blessed. Soon enough I will have my Eeyore spell and be a gloomy Gus. Until then, I will reward workouts where I burn over 1000 cals lifting and sliding with a Coke Zero with a lime chunk at the Sonic located uncomfortably close to the Body Shop.<br />
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So that is my update. Oh yeah. Surprisingly, I don't miss Facebook. Apparently I didn't care as much about everyone as I thought I did. And I am also spared a significant amount of the negative posts, immature status updates, finding out students "Like" things that make the devil blush and pics of teenagers with plastic Solo cups (ah, Solo, sponsoring underage drinking parties since 1983 - if you see a Solo, you know it's booze!).<br />
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If I can do ANYTHING to help you out, please let me know. And if you think about, pray for me this week. Weeks 2 and 3 are the toughest to stay connected and disciplined. After that it becomes more of a habit. My hope is to be under 3 large by February 1st. Pray me to that end, please. I will try to post more. <br />
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Signed, <br />
Epstein's Mother (totally brings it back to Kotter...)Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-35051343775577736222011-01-02T21:31:00.000-08:002011-01-02T21:40:51.913-08:00Too Fat to Facebook! Part 1"When it's time to change, then it's time to change." - The Brady Bunch<br />
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Real change happens when you make preparations in your life, adjustments for what is about to come. You simply cannot make wholesale change if you don't prepare for it at all.<br />
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So that is what I am doing. I made a seven point decision, all changes I must make if I am to be a healthy, happy husband, father, friend and youth pastor. These aren't resolutions because most of them have been swimming around in my head for a few months. However I am resolved. Some have been real wrestling matches. But I have settled on the following seven changes:<br />
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1. Going to lose well over 50 lbs by the birth of our second child. <br />
2. Going to memorize one verse a week. Trying to memorize two chapters of scripture this year.<br />
3. Going to pray for five requests a day. <br />
4. Going to walk with Jackson and Danielle more.<br />
5. Going to be a better youth minister by being on campus more, preparing more and preparing better. <br />
6. Going to build more significant relationships with parents in our student ministry. <br />
7. Going to try to develop a new model of doing Wednesday night programming to help the next generation lead out in the kingdom<br />
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Most of this can be accomplished by better utilizing existing allotted time for each area. The hitch is the losing weight. I need to find time again for that. To make room for it, I am dumping facebook. I spend about an hour throughout the day that I should be using for working out in the gym. When I lose 100 I will rejoin whatever is left of the Facebook world. Understand this is not an overtly spiritual decision. I am not leaving history's largest social networking site because God told me to or I am convicted because of all the negative posts or I am disappointed by all the cuss words on teenager's pages. I am simply too fat to Facebook. I wish it was more holy or spiritual. But long ago I gave up blaming God for all of the decisions I had to make to get back on track and outta my selfishness. If God was REALLY telling me not to do something, I wouldn't have started it in the first place.<br />
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No I am too fat to Facebook. Too nectarine-shaped to network. I have too much status to update.<br />
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Pray for me if you think about it. Or think happy, slimming, commitment-based thoughts. Or tell the little purple people eaters you sacrifice your raw spaghetti noodles to to throw me a bone. Even though Jesus has my back totally on this, I like it if you think you are involved too. So lob your crazy, wackadoo religiosities my way. Hopefully by the end of the summer, I won't be too fat to Facebook any more.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-85800077237805137922009-11-05T08:50:00.000-08:002009-11-05T08:51:08.700-08:00The Maddening Wait for the Late Rains"Be patient then, brothers, for the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains." - James, ch. 5:7<br />"My whole life is waiting for the questions to which I have prepared answers." - Tom Stoppard<br />"Tomorrow will be too late. It's now or never, my love won't wait." - Elvis<br /><br />I never pray for patience. Ever. I never ask anyone to pray for me to have patience. Ever. In fact, I dissuade people from praying for that very thing. Because in my spiritual naivete I assume patience is only something you can learn through trying situations. Not so fast, my impatient friend. You have it. It is there, tucked away behind the love and joy with the self-control and kindness that we tend to ignore.<br /><br />James uses an analogy that spoke to his readers about farming and the essential sets of rains to produce a crop in the Mediterranean. You needed both the autumn, or early, rain and the spring, or late, rain. So, how long do we have to wait for the late rains to come?<br /><br />James speaks of that certainty that it will rain. That late rain will come. It is certain. I just don't have any idea when it will come. And the waiting for it to happen is difficult. It is difficult spiritually. It can be difficult physically. It is terribly difficult psychologically. Too often we are forced by faith to wait on things we cannot control, those <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">vagueries</span> of life. The farmer knows the late rains will come. He just can not do anything to speed them along.<br /><br />I have a better chance at manipulating the rain than I do at pushing God's will along for me and my life. My problem is that I am not very good at waiting. And the late rains are very, very late in coming. They are coming, to be sure. But my struggle is figuring out how to maintain enough faith to allow me joy and peace in the interim.<br /><br />So, James comforts me. Ironic that the book full of rebuke (he uses the term of brothers to remind his readers that he, too, is a member of their faith community and loves them) brings me such comfort today. Because now I know that I have within me the reserves to wait in harmony.<br /><br />Waiting used to produce discord. I would grumble and moan and complain against whoever or whatever was causing me to wait. But James goes further in verse 9 to encourage us to maintain that unity in the bond of peace.<br /><br />God is faithful. The late rains will come for me. They will come for you. My house will sell. The job situation will work out. The family trouble will pass. The health issue will be resolved. The relational conflict will pass into reconciliation. The late rains will come.<br /><br />The question is what state of mind, body, soul and spirit will they find you in when they come?Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-64635905410675404472009-10-02T23:03:00.001-07:002009-10-02T23:03:31.198-07:00Soul vs. Spirit<span style="font-size: 100%;"><b style="font-family: georgia;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000123/">Ulysses Everett <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">McGill</span></a></b><span style="font-family: georgia;">: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">What'd</span> the devil give you for your soul, Tommy? </span><br /><b style="font-family: georgia;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0454584/">Tommy Johnson</a></b><span style="font-family: georgia;">: Well, he taught me to play this here guitar real good. </span><br /><b style="font-family: georgia;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0625789/">Delmar O'Donnell</a></b><span style="font-family: georgia;">: Oh son, for that you sold your everlasting soul? </span><br /><b style="font-family: georgia;"><a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0454584/">Tommy Johnson</a></b><span style="font-family: georgia;">: Well, I wasn't <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">usin</span>' it.<br /><br />"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from the desires that battle within you?" - James 4:1<br /><br />"Therefore if any is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old is gone, behold the new!" Paul, 2 Corinthians 5:17<br /><br />"</span></span>I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. <p>So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!<br />So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin." Paul, Romans 7:15-25</p><p>Do you remember the old Tom and Jerry cartoon where Tom the cat was about to do something awful to Jerry the mouse and then out of nowhere, a mini angel Tom appeared on his shoulder imploring him to do right and be nice to Jerry? And then immediately following the angel's appearance, a devil Tom appeared on his other shoulder trying to convince him to do harm to Jerry? Tom would typically give into the demon.</p><p>I understand that is not truly the most accurate spiritual portrayal of what James and even Paul are talking about in their verses. But that is not too far from what is actually happening with us. We have these lesser demons we carry around with us all the time. They are in constant battle with the better angels in us. Not that we have literal angels and demons inside, I am using that more as an analogy to describe the struggle that goes on between the eternal aspects of who we are; the war of soul versus the Spirit.</p><p>Now, we understand that when we ask Christ in to be master, savior and Lord we are then inheriting the Spirit of God to live inside of us. We now have an eternal spirit that will allow us to experience abundant and eternal life. Eternal life with God in heaven.</p><p class="p_self pic_padding">So, are we therefore not eternal beings without the Spirit in us? Are we just temporal earth-bound flesh zombies wandering around until we expire? No. Of course not. We have an eternal destination awaiting us without the Spirit. Eternal separation from God in heaven. So, it stands to reason that we have an eternal aspect without God that sort of captures who we are, our personalities, how we relate to people - who we are deep down inside. Our soul. That immortal soul is bound for separation until we accept Christ as savior. And then the REAL battle begins.<br /></p><p class="p_self pic_padding">That soul, that eternal essence that makes you who you are is at war against that spirit - James 4 talks about the problems we have and that they all stem from the war going on within our hearts. It is the war between who we were (soul) and who we are now (Spirit). We are almost constantly at battle with ourselves. Paul touched on this with his somewhat schizophrenic passage in Romans that doesn't really make sense until you realize that the new creation we have become is still at war with the old creation that will always exist somewhere inside us - it is eternal.</p><p class="p_self pic_padding">I was never really taught this. I was taught become a Christian and life will be sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. Nobody ever really shared with me how hard it would be to walk in Christ. Who I was, that awful and wicked and dead creature with such a huge appetite for sin would always be with me. Nobody ever told me. It was almost like Jesus was this tonic called "Sin B Gone!" and once I had taken it, everything would be better, easier and wonderful.</p><p class="p_self pic_padding">And it wasn't. I was still struggling with the same pet sins I used to before. Sometimes I still do. It never goes away. Ever. Why not? Because that will always be a part of who I am, whether I like it or not. That is there, deeply ingrained in my soul. And in a bittersweet way it makes me who I am. I can swing that <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">pendulum</span> from wretched to righteous, horrific to justified in a day or two. It happens so quickly for me. It truly is a constant battle. There is never a time when I feel confident that I have beaten that enemy down enough to rest. But there is good news.<br /></p><p class="p_self pic_padding">You choose who wins. Simply by spending time with God, my better angels are strengthened, encouraged - reinforced, if you will.<br /></p><p class="p_self pic_padding">There is a reason they are called better angels and lesser demons. You give God just a little time and He will help set a foundation that can stand up to that appetite. You give God a lot of time and He will really strip away what doesn't belong and you will begin to experience powerful growth. You will see things in a way you never saw them before. You will think things that you never thought before. You will have the eyes and ears and mind of Christ. That is more than enough to win that war.<br /></p><p class="p_self pic_padding">Spend that focused time with God and it feeds the Spirit in you. Absorb the wrong things, allow the wrong thoughts and you feed the soul. The trick, the real hidden blessing, is finding the things that feed both - the Godly things that help the spirit thrive but that also connect with who you are- for some it is music, for some it is service for others it is simply relationships. You can find things that will feed the Spirit but will also satisfy the soul. Only God can provide those.</p><p class="p_self pic_padding">You know what those are now. You know what things truly feed your soul. They resonate deep within you, striking a chord with the very core of who you are. Why on earth are you NOT doing that all the time? Why are you struggling with all these other areas when you know what it is that will truly satisfy you? You have experienced it before. Go experience it again. And again. And again.</p><p class="p_self pic_padding">I never truly lived in Christ until I was spending consistent and focused time in God's presence and His Word. When I started doing that, things really started changing. When I do that now, things really explode wide open for me. And then I went on some mission trips and God began to fan some new flames that I didn't know existed. But they were always there. And then I began to visit two or three places that truly lit a fire in my Spirit and in my soul. And when in those dark nights of the soul when I feel that I am losing the battle, losing the grip of the Spirit, I reflect back on those things that feed both and I lean back into those habits and experiences and wonder why the heck I am so stupid and selfish.</p><p class="p_self pic_padding">Find the things that feed the Spirit and your soul. There are two or three or four that you know of. Help those better angels kick around those lesser demons. You have at your constant disposal a terrible and awesome force, a power you and I cannot even begin to understand. Depend on it today. You need to. If Paul struggled with the soul and Spirit war, what in the world makes you think you have it all down?</p>Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-41939148006851377662009-10-02T22:06:00.001-07:002009-10-02T22:06:30.161-07:00LostI was drawn to Luke 15 today to read. This is the chapter with the Lost Parables - sheep, coin and son.<br /><br />I assume this is where the 20th Century church coined their comfortable phrase as "being lost" to describe someone outside the body of Christ. However, after reading through this chapter a few times, I wonder if we missed the original meaning behind the parables.<br /><br />We speak of the sheep and the coin and the son as if they are outside the family - without any previous ownership or are brand new. We equate these parables with people who have yet to become Followers of Christ. But that isn't really the case, now, is it.<br /><br />The sheep was in the fold. The coin was in the purse with the other nine. The son was already a member of the family. They already had their place. They already followed a shepherd, belonged to a master and stood to inherit as a son of the father in the story.<br /><br />The sheep is lost. Maybe it wandered off. Maybe it was separated from the flock. Maybe it nibbled its way off without really noticing what was going on. Regardless, the shepherd left the other 99 in an open field, where they might be safe in their numbers, to go off and find the one.<br /><br />The coin was lost, misplaced by the woman. She lost track of it. But once she realized it was gone, she scoured her house, overturning furniture, checking under every cushion. She went back over every place she would have left it. She thought about the last place she had it. She searched carefully, meticulously, until she found it.<br /><br />The son chose to leave. He took what was due him and left. He walked away from the family. There is no denying it. The younger son chose to leave the family. Eventually he realized the only way for him to truly live was not in sin, apart from the family. He noticed that the life the servants of the family was better than the one he was living. So he came back. While he was gone, the father was out looking down the road every day for him. He was hoping that one day that lost son would turn up, come home. He ran to his son and welcomed him back with warmth and grace. He never asked what happened. No "I told you so." He never made any mention of why the son left or what junk the son encountered during his rebellion.<br /><br />As a minister these stories strike a real chord with me today.<br /><br />As a shepherd, how many students have I allowed to wander away? How quick have I have been to go find them? So many students really are not equipped to cope with what life throws at them. It is my job to stand in the gap, lead them to safe places and go get them when they leave. Am I willing to make the difficult phone call? Am I willing to step into an uncomfortable conversation? Am I observant enough to know when the sheep has truly wandered off?<br /><br />What about when it was my actions, my words, my lack of attention that helped to move someone out. It happens. People need an extra touch. Some need more time and more attention. The hurt and pain in their lives merit it at that specific season they find themselves. Am I willing to give them that? And if I don't and they end up gone, am I willing to meticulously communicate my concern and care for them by exhausting every avenue to get them back?<br /><br />And what if they leave? What if it is clear that the student is having a crisis of faith and there is nothing I can say in the moment. They are going to take what they want and leave. Am I willing to wait and watch for them prayerfully and graciously? And when they come back, do I treat them with anything less the genuine compassion?<br /><br />I draw a line in my ministry sand today. I will no longer accept it when a student wanders off. If you leave my ministry, if you disappear, if you wander away distracted, expect a full court press from me and the students and workers. You have some of my kids gracing your place, youth pastor? Expect a large youth pastor to make you very uncomfortable and fight for our sheep, our precious treasure, our family. I will drive to Tuttle, OKC, Norman...I don't care. I will come and sit in your office and ask you point blank why you allowed someone from another family, another flock to wander into yours.<br /><br />I have been less than stellar at this. I am now going to sort of take these absences personally. I don't see you, I am calling you. I am going to push you, student, to come to church on Sunday and Wednesday and Monday nights and Sunday nights and every event and anything else I can think of. You haven't been baptized? I may just show up with a horse trough at your house!<br /><br />Jesus loved us with a relentless love. In these stories he talks about what HE was willing to do to bring us back to the fold. What am I willing to do? What are you willing to do?<br /><br />I am too old to care about what people think about me, especially if they are not a member of my church, my family, my flock.<br /><br />And how did each of these stories end when there was reconciliation? When the lost became found? There was a party. We always say the same thing when someone becomes a follower of Christ - there is a party in heaven. Well, according to what Jesus says, when one comes BACK to the fold, we are to celebrate.<br /><br />That means it is time to throw some shindigs. Go bring BACK what was once part of your treasure, family and flock. Relentlessly search for them. Meticulously exhaust every avenue until they return. And when they do, celebrate like you just won the Super Bowl.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-14289231460414148452009-10-02T22:05:00.000-07:002009-10-02T22:06:00.540-07:00The Invisible Young Adult DepartmentYouth Ministers take personality hits all the time. Why? Because once these teenagers graduate into college, they stop going to church. I know. I was shocked too. They just NOW realized this? I knew it in 1994.<br /><br />I am blessed here at my church. Our 18-25 year olds are very faithful and attend and serve and are a vital part of our fellowship. This isn't about my church specifically. Let me say that now. I am blessed to have many friends who are in their late teens and early 20's and are so great and faithful. This is more about the general criticism directed at youth workers from the church at large.<br /><br />They act like there is something youth ministry or youth ministers can do to stem the tide of 18-25 year olds being an invisible element in church. And while there may be, let's revisit this from where most of us sit. Actually among that age group.<br /><br />Most of the statistics out there show anywhere from 80-95% of people aged 18-25 are drop out of the church. First you need to know this about me. I always cast a very skeptical eye at any statistic. They survey 2000 people in New York, Ohio, Florida and Nebraska. How reliable are those numbers? However, I do know students graduate from high school and many also from their faith.<br /><br />What could we do better in student ministry? That is always the question. Interestingly enough, it is posed by people selling you curriculum or a program idea that is specifically designed to aid in such a problem. How convenient. I most recently heard it from a Lifeway shill. He painted such a terrible picture of ineffective youth ministers and ministries, you would have thought every youth guy in the entire SBC was about to be on the unemployment line by Christmas.<br /><br />They all raise questions. They all almost attack youth guys. And what is their practical step to help stem the tide of 18-25 year olds who are not coming to church in droves? Buy our book.<br /><br />Great.<br /><br />I have a little more insight, seeing as how I am not developing a book of curriculum (as far as you know). We have institutionalized the faith of our teenagers. Remember that predicament from Shawshank Redemption? Prison had totally formed their entire identity. Inside prison these men mattered, they had position and influence. Outside prison, they were just ex-cons.<br /><br />From the time a church attender is born, their faith experience is basically programmed for them until they are 18. We plan the outings. We schedule the bulk of their spiritual formation with our teachings, events, weekly programs and camps. Parents leave most of that up to us. Teenagers leave most of that up to us. And then? Typically it stops.<br /><br />We consider them adults. They go to college and most churches don't offer the same options. You go to Sunday school. You go to worship. You go to Wednesday Prayer Meeting and Gall Bladder Report. But there are no more trips. Maybe a retreat here and there. No more fun get togethers. No more Super Bowl parties and lock-ins. Unless you as an adult plan them. So now you are not only planning your life and your family, you have to plan your faith too?<br /><br />The problem is we have not really equipped them to plan their faith. We have not really equipped them for that. The truth is we desperately need them to be co-dependant on us as Ministers to justify either our salary or our self-worth or purpose or all of the above.<br /><br />The numbers say that churches are losing at least 3/4's of their college students. And it is our fault, apparently. Can you imagine what would happen if you inherited 40 sixth graders and by the time those kids were in 8th grade there were only 10 left? You would be under fire. You certainly couldn't go to the Children's Director and ask them what they heck they did wrong. You couldn't say that the Children's Ministry did not adequately prepare them for Youth Ministry. No, you have to take that hit.<br /><br />I think Education Ministers come up with these stats to make them all feel better about adults not coming to church until they are in their 30's. Why actually think outside the box and problem solve when you can blame the Youth guy? Is it really that much of a stretch anyway?<br /><br />And they never talk about the huge resurgence of church attendance by people in their late 20's and early 30's when they are bringing their families back to church.<br /><br />So what can we do? I have some thoughts but none of them are complete and I would love to hear your thoughts too.<br /><br />1. Develop relationships with them. Sounds easy. But sometimes their connection to their youth minister is really the only thing that may keep them around.<br />2. Give them the freedom to explore other churches. Maybe your church doesn't really hit the homerun with that age group. Let them go look. But you care enough to provide necessary insight into what they should be looking for. Any church that you can avoid actual in person attendance and just go worship online? Skip it. Any church where you may never actually meet the person who is preaching your sermon from another city? Skip it. The shepherd doesn't get to manage all the sheep on seven different mountains.<br />3. Show them what it means to serve God. Connect them to ministries and impress upon them the importance of a life of service. Not just a teenage experience.<br />4. Allow them to own some of your ministry. There is a fine line between student ownership of ministry and the inmates running the asylum though. Give them important leadership. But also press them to lead themselves.<br />5. Connect them to their faith in God through Christ. Don't allow them to live their spirituality vicariously through any personality, whether it be you, David Crowder or Billy Graham.<br />6. Keep up with generational markers and the the technology that is beginning to define their relationship management.<br /><br />It has nothing to do with our silly facial hair or the ridiculous commitment we have to trendy hairstyles, backpacks and ball caps and flip flops. It has everything to do with a genuine concern and compassion for people. You can see your young adults thrive in church. And I guarantee you if they do thrive in your church, they are NOT giving you, the hard working youth minister, the credit, are they. I am really torn over this.<br /><br />What say you? What else can you think of?Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-60546061789975550722009-08-29T19:59:00.000-07:002009-08-29T20:05:19.461-07:00Diet - Week 1So, I am going to diet. The wife is doing some crazy hard 14 day diet where you eat all sorts of odd combination of foods like one meal you have two egg whites, fourteen almonds and cabbage leaves. The next one you can have frozen yogurt, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">edamame</span> and acorns. I cannot even think about keeping that sort of diet.<br /><br />I weighed in this morning at a nasty 314. Gross. Just months ago I was down to 285. Stupid lack of willpower. So, I am cutting into that. The first weight loss goal is to get BACK to 285 and get that reward meal at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Eischen's</span> in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Okarche</span> that I once earned but forfeited as soon as I became Fat Craig again.<br /><br />I have done three major types of diets in my life. Atkins, counting calories and one I did at an old gym called the Fitness Zone back in Arkansas. I lost 20 pounds quickly with Atkins but gained it all back after I broke down and had a biscuit. I lost about 120 counting calories and gained about 60 back. Then I lost about 30 with the challenge. I still weigh about what I did when I came off of that diet. So, I am going to try that one for a few months and then I will go back to counting calories.<br /><br />Here is the challenge in a nutshell. Basically, you exercise for around 30 minutes a day for six days.<br /><br />For days 1,2 and 3 of each week you sort of clean your system out just eating green veggies, citrus fruits and lean proteins. No salt. No sugar. Stay away from processed foods. Eating the following foods prepares the body to burn stored body fat and eliminate toxins.<br /><br />Below is a list of things you can eat these three days, with a sample day's menu:<br />Eat moderate amounts of the following:<br />Proteins:<br />- beef<br />- chicken<br />- water packed tuna<br />- turkey<br />- fish<br />- egg whites<br />- whole eggs (no more than 2 per day)<br /><br />Veggies and fruits:<br />- cucumbers<br />- cabbage<br />- lettuce<br />- green onions<br />- green beans<br />- asparagus<br />- oranges<br />- celery<br />- broccoli<br />- cauliflower<br />- tangerines<br />- cantaloupe<br />- red/green bell peppers<br />- squash<br />- zucchini<br />- radishes<br />- collard greens<br />- <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">brussel</span> sprouts<br />- <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">edamame</span><br />- eggplant<br />- spinach<br />- 1/4 cup old fashioned oatmeal<br />- grapefruit<br /><br />You may use butter or oil to cook your food. You can season to flavor as long as there is no salt or sugar.<br /><br />You may use oil or vinegar or any lite or fat free salad dressing. NO canned veggies.<br /><br />You need to drink a MINIMUM of eight 8 oz glasses of water per day. Perrier and mineral water may be substituted.<br /><br />In addition to water you may have two 12 oz cans of diet soda or 4 cups of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">caffeinated</span> tea or coffee with 4 packages of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">splenda</span>, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">sweet'n'low</span> or equal.<br /><br />No sugar. No milk.<br /><br />NO breads, pasta, milk, cheese, condiments or fruit juices during days 1-3.<br /><br />Days 4,5<br />You are free to eat everything on the list from days 1-3 and add any of the following in moderation.<br /><br />1 serving of milk<br />1 serving of fruit juice<br />2 servings of any of the following fruits: strawberries, grapes, apples, bananas, pineapple, raspberries, blueberries, pomegranates, kiwi<br />Vegetables: tomatoes, carrots, sweet potatoes, parsley<br />Fibers: chick peas/garbanzo beans/kidney beans/black beans (1/4 cup)<br />1-2 slices of whole grain wheat bread<br />Cottage cheese<br />2 TBSP all natural peanuts or almonds<br />1 serving high fiber cereal<br />5 oz brown rice / 1/4 cup cooked pasta<br />2 TBSP condiments (ketchup, mayo, mustard)<br />2 heaping TBSP of wheat germ<br /><br />Day 6<br />Same as days 4 and 5 but allow yourself 1 cheat meal if you desire.<br /><br />Day 7<br />A free day. No rules or requirements. Just eat in moderation and watch your portions.<br /><br />Then start over on days 1-3 etc.<br /><br />Days 1-3<br />Breakfast: 1/2 cup oatmeal, 1 egg, orange<br />Snack: grapefruit<br />Lunch: large green salad with a can of tuna fish and lite dressing<br />Snack: cucumbers dipped in lite salad dressing and small orange<br />Dinner: ground beef patty, green beans, broccoli, cauliflower<br />Snack: Cantaloupe<br /><br />Days 4-5<br />Breakfast: Fruit Smoothie (1 cup milk, 1/2 cup fruit, ice, protein powder)<br />Snack: Almonds, orange<br />Lunch: turkey sandwich on wheat, carrots, tomato<br />Snack: pineapple, cottage cheese<br />Dinner: grilled chicken, brown rice, big salad, asparagus<br />Snack: orange<br /><br />If you actually eat this food, you will NOT be hungry. In fact, it is a lot of work to eat this much food in a day.<br /><br />Tips:<br />- Get some Mrs. Dash seasonings. They are a life and taste-saver!<br />- Eat breakfast like a king (big healthy portions), lunch like a prince (medium portions) and dinner like a pauper ( a small meal)<br />- Try not to eat past 8 PM.<br /><br />Of course, no booze. No sweets. No desserts. Save that for the free day but be smart.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-11807460605662127582009-06-22T19:17:00.000-07:002009-06-22T20:44:57.665-07:00Trapped With the BacheloretteFor my wife's birthday, I ordered her this necklace she wanted that she saw on Ellen. Since they have yet to even ship the thing, I am now trying to buy my way out of watching the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Bachelorette</span> with her. Cake. Flowers. Nice dinner. Lunch. Not enough to escape watching it. So, since I have to watch it, I will blog about it and share my experience with the two people who read this.<br /><br />9:15 - We start watching it. She <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">DVR'd</span> it. Praise Allah for the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">DVR</span> function (side note - Pioneer Cable provides for us not Cox. With Cox you can <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">DVR</span> two shows at one time. Not so with Pioneer. Just one. Although this is the "Wave of the future" according to the third installer guy. I am beginning to think the name is not so ironic as it is accurate. Pioneer. One <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">DVRd</span> show at a time? What is this? The Dark Ages? The Wild West? Bah...)<br /><br />9:16 - One of the eight dim bulb man-whores on the show just said the following while trekking across Canada on a train (what a great idea for a group date) after passing by a rather small lake: "Is that a lake or an ocean?" Shoot me now. As if that moron wasn't enough, it lead to the following conversation between me and my wife.<br /> Bachelor Dude. "Is that a lake or an ocean."<br /> Craig. Stares at his wife incredulously.<br /> Danielle. "What?"<br /> Craig. "Seriously? You are making me watch these morons? Why would she date them? They cannot even be trusted to sit the right way on a toilet seat."<br /> Danielle. "Well, isn't Canada surrounded by oceans?"<br /> Craig. "Yes. Just like the United States is surrounded by oceans."<br /> Danielle. (it dawns on her) "Oh yeah. I thought it was an island."<br />Thanks public education and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">OBU</span>. Thanks a lot. Good thing she is pretty.<br /><br />9:23 - Robby gets a one on one date on the train. He wears a sharp looking fedora. They promo his date plus some <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">freako</span> who gives her a foot massage. Enjoy that now, sunshine. The massages go the way of the dodo after the "I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">do's</span>."<br /><br />9:25 - A rose tonight means she meets the guy's family. Robby is a bartender. He is now tending bar. Anything he can do to get the rose. Including getting her boozed up. A little liquid courage goes a long way.<br /><br />9:26 - The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">bachelorette</span> has no hand-eye coordination as she tosses the drink mixer thing all over the train car they are in. They drink their booze and head to a special car with an open area to feel the wind bowl them over. A peck on the cheek. Robby can fall in love with her. Or seventeen other women once this show is over. I am sorry. I am such a cynic.<br /><br />9:28 - They are going to dinner in the caboose. She likes Robby. Robby talks with his mouth full. He talks about the family curse that keeps his older siblings single. I think curse talk is dessert talk.<br /><br />9:30 - "Love doesn't have a job." - Robby from the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Bachelorette</span>. Move over <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Confucious</span>.<br /><br />9:31 - Wes has a secret plan. He is using this show to promote his CD. Shady Wes. Don't you know that you come on this show for the chance of love and THEN use it as a launching pad for professional gain? I don't know what is sillier. The fact that a guy thinks that alienating every woman who watches this show will sell his <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">cd's</span> or the fact that every other guy there is upset with Wes for his <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">alterior</span> motives. Why won't Jillian catch onto to this schemer!!??<br /><br />9:32 - Robby bores me. I refuse to write any more. Although the other guys are struggling with Robby getting the date. I am struggling with the fact that this show continues to exist on TV.<br /><br />9:35 - The train is slowing down. Someone may be getting the boot. Jillian talking up Robby. She is wondering if he is someone she would marry. In five or ten years from now. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">Owch</span>. The train is stopping. See ya Robby. Hit the bricks. Called it. The other guys are watching her boot him off of the train. They cannot believe it. Hope they make him walk home. Should have mixed her a stiffer drink. Boy, talk about a family curse.<br /><br />9:36 - Jillian is stone cold. Heartless. She says she is not good at it. I think she is. And if she isn't the producers of this show are. That was a memorable moment we will revisit again. One of the other guys is crying about Robby's departure. Crying. I have no words.<br /><br />9:38 - I don't think Jillian is that sharp. The schemer is working her like a summer job. He may have sold his soul if he actually ever had one. I don't like this show but I know when someone is dark and evil. Even Hitler would be like, "Wes, dude. You are wrong."<br /><br />9:40 - Jillian tells her that her heart was broken. But scrambled eggs makes it all better. My wife just asked me if the Rockies stretch into Canada. She thought they were just in Colorado. Seriously, Edmond North. Do you even teach geography? <br /><br />9:41 - Just heard the following exchange.<br /> Idiot #1 - "What do you think of Rocky Mountain Romance?"<br /> Idiot #2 - "Isn't that an ice cream? No wait. That is Rocky Road." <br />Same dude who asked about the ocean.<br /><br />9:43 - There is a sign of the first foot fetishist. And then a guy named <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Kiptyn</span>. Or <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Kyptin</span>. Or Krypton?<br /><br />9:44 - Everyone playing <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">hide'n'seek</span> in the woods in the show in show shoes at Emerald Lake. Tee <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">hee</span>. So much fun playing hide and seek. Jake sneaked in a little cuddle! That character!<br />Please. Shoot me. Now.<br /><br />9:46 - The moron left on the train is asking the train staff about whether or not he should wear glasses. Train staff dude is giving him advice on love. Always take advice from train ticket punchers when love and celebrity is on the line.<br /><br />9:55 - I blacked out for a spell there. There was giggling. Cuddling. Drinking. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Probly</span> some kissing. Everyone always kisses on this show. The wife confirmed. Krypton got some snuggle and smooch time.<br /><br />9:59 - I come to just in time to watch one of them drop trow and show him her man panties. Which led to the following quote that needs to be borrowed by the True Love Waits movement:<br />The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">Bachelorette</span>. "It is too early. I don't want to see <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">anyone's</span> package." Straight from the New Testament, I believe. Idiot #1, you are now finished in the competition.<br /><br />10:01 - The Foot Fetishist has rated her feet a 9 and a half. If the toes were painted Mango Mango, they would be a ten. This guy should probably get the axe. The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">Creepo</span> Meter was off the charts. Last time I felt this way was touring Graceland.<br /><br />10:05 - The guys are chit chatting. The Schemer reveals his evil plot to get airtime and pub to sell his <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">merch</span>! The guys are beginning to doubt his integrity. And she makes out with the third guy this episode. I hope there is a free clinic for these people to check out this crew. Bartender, two shots of penicillin, straight no chaser.<br /><br />10:07 - The break dance instructor is talking about roasting <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">marshmellows</span>. He is worried about falling for her. I don't even like the two minutes of chatter that is being forced at me. How can she? Pretty people are thick and dense and it makes me sad. I am the only pretty person with heart, soul, wit and personality. It is my cross to bear.<br /><br />10:09 - The Schemer and the Foot Fetishist <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">Footsy</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">McGhee</span> are upset that guys are tattling on people who have girlfriends. The Schemer is beginning to talk about his plans. What a tangled web we weave. And there is a narc sighting. The Schemer is proving he is a moron. He is taunting the Narc. He is only there for his pub. The Narc will be confronting the lip tramp, er, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">bachelorette</span> after the break and our mandatory weekly trip to the hot tub. Where Krypton gets his rose. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">Yay</span> for Krypton. Breaking Two Electric <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">Boogaloo</span> is upset he missed the rose. <br /><br />10:12 - Let's just get to the rose ceremony where the producers are bound and determined to keep the Schemer in with Krypton, Breaking Two and Idiot #2. I wonder who will get the last rose. Good bye <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">Footsy</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30">McGhee</span>. At least that is my prediction. The commercial pilot is the wild card. Not sure about him. I will now take a Coke Zero break until they get to the Rose Ceremony. <br /><br />I begged my wife to skip the one on one with Reid (I thought there were only seven or eight? These guys keep coming like bad guys in a Jackie Chan movie). She wouldn't skip it. I had to watch Reid break his ribs while trying to learn how to snowboard. Apparently, Jillian <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31">digged</span> that he went for it. More kissing. I think she makes out with David <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">Hasselhoff</span> after the break.<br /><br />Apparently the boys are jealous of Reid. Which makes America want to root for him. She made a Christmas morning reference to Reid, a Jewish man. Only one thing to make up for such an insensitive anti-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">semitic</span> statement. More kissing.<br /><br />Back from commercial. Reid doesn't dig fondue. Reid is <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34">minsching</span> all over the place. It's a mitzvah in there. Reid just confirmed Jillian is not his typical type. What he means is, she is a Gentile. And of course she is now totally obsessed with Reid. Bingo. Make that a rose for The Rabbi and Krypton. And I was right. She is giving him the rose. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35">Hava</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36">nagila</span>! There could be a wedding soon!<br /><br />Rose Ceremony. Two down. One to Krypton and the Rabbi each. Who could be next? Oh the suspense. She is talking now. She is struggling with the decision. Five stay. Two go home. She has already doled out two. Tension...Jillian has questions! Holy Cow! Cue the suspenseful music as she asks questions of the young Breaking Two Electric <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37">Boogaloo</span>. Age difference worries her. He is in panic stage. He is stating his case. I am not sure how old she is. Maybe 28? 30? He doesn't mind being a young dad. This dude is going a mile a minute. I think his dad used to pitch Micro Machines.<br /><br />The Narc is sniffing out who has a girlfriend. The Schemer is anxious. Tense music. What to think...<br /><br />The third rose goes to Idiot #2. He asked her what that red thing was.<br />The fourth rose goes to The Schemer. Bingo. So far, two for two. You know the producers are BEGGING her to keep him so they can hook viewers in.<br />The fifth and final rose goes to Breaking Two Electric <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_38">Boogaloo</span>. Foot <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_39">Feshisist</span> and Idiot #1 are toast. Who called it, America? Craig did.<br /><br />Uh oh. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_40">Footsy</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_41">McGhee</span> is perturbed about getting the axe. Lots of cuss words. Apparently the producers saw ratings raise with this <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_42">creepazoid</span> off the show.<br /><br />Idiot #1 asks her why he got the boot. I would assume it was when he dropped trow and showed off his <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_43">BVDs</span>. Idiot #1 cannot believe that he is done. Idiot #1 points out that nice guys finish last. Well, only the nice guys with a streak of exhibitionist. Nice guys keep their pants on in large groups of people, friend. But he warns of this evil Schemer!<br /><br />Apparently they go from Canada to Hawaii to Spain. And she gets to meet the Schemer's Band. And Idiot #1 returns to sabotage the Schemer. So much to keep up with America. And Jillian makes out with Mr. T and Spongebob Squarepants.<br /><br />And you can keep up with it. I have Arrested Development reruns to watch.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-583647152983240052009-03-03T13:03:00.000-08:002009-03-03T13:50:22.558-08:00February 20-21Someone told me I would want to write out exactly what happened when Jackson, my son, was born so one day I could tell him everything. So I started working on this close to when he came. We will see how much I remember.<br /><br />Friday February 20, 2009<br /><br />10AM - I am heading out to eat lunch with my brother and do some afternoon prep for a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">DNOW</span> in NW <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">OKC</span><br />10:11 - Get a text from my wife. Says the following. "Just totally lost all of my mucus plug."<br />10:12 - Dry heaves set in. My wife is gross.<br />10:14 - Get this text to follow: "I got a spoon so I could get the plug out of the toilet and look at it."<br />10:15 - I am now screaming how gross it is. Then she calls to see if I am grossed out. I am<br />11:00 - Meet my brother Kurt. He is more squeamish and weak-stomached than I am. I inform him about the mucus plug. He is quite offended.<br /><br />Time passes. Things are moving along. My very pregnant wife is eating dinner with a friend. Then they will drive over to hear me speak Friday night. Before she gets there, she sends me this text at around 5PM.<br /><br />5:00<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">PMish</span> - I wonder if my water broke.<br /><br />We (meaning she) decides to wait until after I speak to call the hospital and see if we should come in. We live in Newcastle. We are going to deliver at Mercy. After I speak, they ask her some basic questions. She answers honestly. They tell us to get out fannies to the hospital.<br /><br />9:3<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">oPM</span> - We get our fannies to the hospital. We are admitted. She is pushed in a wheel chair. She loves that.<br />9:31 - David the head ER nurse sprints away with my wife in his wheel chair. I struggle to keep up. Apparently David has had to deliver a baby in the elevator and refuses to do that again, hence the rapid pace. (after going through all the mess of birth, I don't really blame him)<br />9:40 - A piece of paper is brought in to confirm whether or not we are in labor. If it comes out blue, we are staying and having a baby.<br />9:41 - It is blue.<br />9:42 - I pass out briefly.<br />9:45 - We make some preliminary phone calls and texts. Jackson will be here by Saturday night. We are waiting for a new room.<br />9:50 - The wife complains about the ugly small room we are in presently, while we await the Birthing Suite.<br />10:15 - More complaining about the yucky, ugly room.<br />10:30 - We get into our room that we will be in until Sunday. Her mom and dad arrive. They are planning on staying until they have a grandson. Which means sleeping will not be happening on the love seat and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">foldy</span> chair we have.<br />11:00 - We meet out nurse. We like our nurse. We will like all of our nurses. She explains that the wife is still at a "2." You have to be at a "10" before baby comes. "2" is a long way from "10" I think to myself.<br />11:30 - Apparently it is not THAT far away. They give her this medicine called <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">pitocin</span>. It will inflict crazy pain on her innards and help speed things along.<br />12:30 - The pain of contractions are now enough to merit the epidural - or Cousin <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Eppy</span>. Cousin <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Eppy</span> will be the second most anticipated arrival all weekend for my wife and me.<br />1:30 - <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Eppy</span> is administered. I watch as much as my weak stomach can handle. Which is surprisingly a lot. That epidural needle...intense....getting woozy right now typing...<br />2:30 - She is not feeling the pain so much. Her legs are wobbly and heavy. Her feet are rather tingly. She will not be in the bed until well after Jackson comes. Apparently her legs will be all <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">higgledy</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">piggledy</span> for a spell. Now she knows how I felt when I got the mucus plug text.<br /><br />During the next eight hours we called brothers and mothers and family and friends. Her brother Ward made the trip home from a fly fishing retreat to be there. My brother Kurt and his family await word on when things start getting serious to come up. My mom agrees to come up after Jackson comes so she won't be in the way? My mom is different, to say the least.<br /><br />The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Loveseat</span>: Her parents curl up into some awfully uncomfortable-looking human pretzel on a little <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">loveseat</span>. We will find out later Saturday night that it pulls out into a full fledged sofa. Thanks to all of those nurses who came in to poke, prod and fidget with my wife who never told my poor in-laws that it expanded.<br /><br />Her brother Ward arrived at about 7AM. My brother and his family made it around 10<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">ish</span>. My sister-in-law arrived before that. About then things speed up significantly.<br /><br />10AM - People are beginning to show up. Julie, Ward, his girlfriend Reese. Some friends from church in Newcastle. My brother and his family.<br />10:30 - She is about a "6" even after all of that action. Nurses have changed and now we have the one who will be there when Jackson comes. Our doctor (well, HER doctor) is unavailable but not to worry, another doctor from the same office, Dr. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">Wayman</span>, will be there to deliver and she is great too.<br />11:00 - We meet Dr. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">Wayman</span>. She is small. But that size will prove to be deceptive.<br />11:30 - The nurse clears the room so we can check and see what number we are now. I am assuming "7" or "8" tops. HOLY COW we are a "9 1/2!" I ask her to tell the family to head to the waiting area since we are getting close.<br />12:00 - The nurse begins working with Danielle practicing pushing. About that time, I am basically just room dressing. I better be there but don't say or do anything. This is the moment when most dads acquire or develop the "dad's blank stare" as we realize that women are crucial to the world, the planet our species. They will be so involved and have to shove and sweat and bleed and move and create. My part was essentially over back in early June. Seventeen seconds, more or less, was my part in this great mystery of bringing new life into the world. So I just stare.<br />1:10 - After trying many different pushing techniques, all working different muscle sets, Danielle and Jackson are ready. The doctor comes in. A tech comes in. Some nursery type person comes in. I have two important jobs in the delivery. Three if my stomach holds up.<br />1) Cover the TV with a sheet so the wife won't see anything horrifying reflecting back for her<br />2) Take pictures<br />3) Cut a chord.<br />I am holding the camera, ready with fresh batteries. The TV was covered back around noon thirty. I am still having the internal argument over cutting the chord. A room full of woman pushing and bleeding or standing and working in all that life-giving goop. And I may or may not cut a chord. We will see. After that, maybe I can get all these ladies a tea or something.<br /><br />The doctor arrived. Danielle is in position. And she is shoving. Pushing. Working it like a summer job. She is a great pusher now. Her first start back around noon was not so successful.<br />The nurse said, "Okay, Danielle. Let's practice pushing."<br />Danielle squints her face and pushes.<br />"Not so much with your face."<br />But now she can push. She pushes and strains for three straight ten counts. Then a rest. Then the doctor performs what I now call "The Maneuver." I saw it. Holy-God-sitting-on-the-highest-throne-in-Heaven-with-Jesus-right-next-to-him I SAW IT. And MAN was it impressive. Then she tells Danielle to push.<br />Danielle pushes. It was impressive. The doctor was even impressed by it. Danielle <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">hulked</span> out.<br />"Whoa! What was that! That was a huge push. Okay, Danielle, a gentle push."<br /><br />A gentle push. Some wiping and cleaning. A catch-all on her stomach. And there he is.<br /><br />Jackson is laid out on my wife's stomach.<br /><br />Some men get emotional. Some cry. Some weep. I wiped away a tear or two later that day. But when he came out I was just overwhelmed. It was really cool. And really gross.<br /><br />But there is nothing like it. Nothing at all. I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">texted</span> my brother-in-law to tell him he was an uncle. And that was how the rest of the world heard about Jackson Ward first. I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">texted</span> Ward: "Holy cow! You are an uncle!"<br /><br />Then I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">texted</span> my brother the important stats and snapped a picture or two.<br /><br />Then I cut the chord. And kept the scissors. Cause that is how I roll.<br /><br />I gently kissed my wife and told her how beautiful he was and how proud I was of her. Then they poked and prodded and did what they do to newborns. After that flurry my wife asked for it to just be our family for a bit. It was quiet. Jackson was there with us. My wife and son.<br /><br />Then I was sent to get and gather up people two by two. My brother Kurt brought her some lunch. And then a few hours later Danielle would send me out to finish speaking that night at the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">DNOW</span>. I thought it was some spiritual female <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">intuition</span>. Some insight into God's will that she possessed after child birth. Besides, I saw what she did. I am not screwing with her after that. She wants me to quack like a duck in a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">speedo</span>, I am doing it. But she just wanted to guarantee that I got the paycheck. So I spoke. I ate two bean burritos from Taco <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">Bueno</span> to celebrate. One for her. One for Jackson.<br /><br />Then I spent my first night with my wife and son and a converted love seat.<br /><br />Since then? I am not exhausted. I am slightly tired. I refer to it as "an hour short of normal." But I think I have been like that my whole life. Jackson is a sweet and cute and awesome little dude. And everyone who holds him falls absolutely in love with him. That is the truth. He is the coolest person.<br /><br />Now I cannot wait to hear him laugh. I know that comes later but still I hope that I get to hear his first laugh. I hope it is in response to something silly or stupid that I do for him.<br /><br />And my wife? She is absolutely my hero. I think every dad feels that way, deep down. Their wives are their heroes. And their kids are their everything. At least that is how I feel. I cannot wait until Jackson wears his Beatles shirt and listens to my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">ipod</span>.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-10791810374955320902009-01-29T08:04:00.000-08:002009-01-29T08:09:23.955-08:00RIP iPod...again...Well, someone decided to be helpful and hook my iPod up to their laptop, which had their iTunes set to sync up iPods with their own personal library. Which means all of my songs, waaaaayy too many songs, were deleted.<br /><br />So, now, I have to find all my cd's so I can start over. I realize that I will never EVER get back to where I was. I had all the McCartney solo stuff. That makes me sort of sad. Right now I have almost 20 songs on my iPod.<br /><br />At least I can sing to Jackson when he comes since I won't be able to find out which music would calm him down.<br /><br />Maybe I should start a special foundation people could donate to so I can get the music back. Sort of piggy-back on that "Keep Music in Schools" sort of thing.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-9259879377046563432009-01-05T08:54:00.000-08:002009-01-05T09:05:33.526-08:00Luke 1:14I am totally lifting a verse out of context but it is the verse I have been praying for Jackson the past week or so. I know it was not my idea to pray this verse over a son...<br /><br />Luke 1:14 "And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth."<br /><br />I know that as the "Due Date" gets closer and closer, I am getting more and more excited to meet my son! How incredible is THAT? And he is already bringing joy and gladness. It is my heartfelt prayer that Jackson will bring joy to many lives and be a huge blessing to my family, church, ministry and friends. I know that many in OKC, Newcastle, Hot Springs, Denver, Dallas, Houston, Baton Rouge and even Oregon will rejoice with us as Jackson makes the scene in late February.<br /><br />I know you are not as excited about my son as I am, but shift those prayers slightly so that not only will he be healthy, but he will be a blessing and folks will join us in rejoicing and praising God for our healthy, happy, handsome and basically absolutely the coolest boy ever born - Jackson.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-64981710418849322262008-10-22T21:40:00.000-07:002008-10-22T21:47:09.368-07:00Our Prayer ListMy buddy gave me some great advice. When he and his wife were expecting their son, they started praying very specifically about many things. To quote my pastor, "You don't have because you don't ask." Well, James via my pastor. But as far as it accounts with me, I am going to let you in on the very specific things I(we) am(are) praying for:<br /><br />1. A healthy, cyst-free pregnancy.<br />2. Danielle to be able to enjoy life until the baby comes, without any bumps in the road.<br />3. Jackson to be born in a smooth and normal birth.<br />4. Jackson to sleep through the night early on.<br />5. Jackson to be a healthy and happy baby boy - sans colic. <br />6. That Jackson would take to nursing with Danielle.<br />7. That our house sells ASAP, before the baby comes with enough time for us to house hunt, shop, purchase and get it ready for a baby.<br /><br />That is the list. As far as it goes with me, I am praying for these things daily.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-48758347317046018212008-10-06T20:43:00.001-07:002008-10-06T21:08:26.156-07:00The Selfish Prayer of a HypocriteWe had an ultrasound today. Our baby is around 20 weeks along and we are so excited. Today we saw the heart, the backbone, the fingers and thigh bones. We even know what gender our little one is, which will remain a surprise to you until our families know. We also saw the brain. And the little cyst on the brain. Well, we didn't see it. Our doctor did.<br /><br />Apparently it is a little one and the doctor, a confirmed straight shooter, felt confident it was nothing. It is somewhat common amongst little ones in the womb to have these cysts that go away on their own. Our doctor confessed that both of her children had the same thing. A cyst on the brain. Now, the worst case scenario is a chromosome issue which could mean a slim chance of something like downs syndrome. Our doctor is having us take another ultrasound in two weeks on a better machine with a specialist "just to be sure." But, again, she is sure it is not serious since nothing else from the ultrasound gave them pause.<br /><br />Well, I know my doctor is sleeping well tonight. I bet the ultrasound tech lady is sleeping good tonight. I won't be. I hope my wife does but I have lingering doubts about that as well. By the middle of the afternoon, I was a wreck. I couldn't focus. All I could think about was my baby with a cyst on its brain.<br /><br />Usually I have enough faith for something like this. I know, deep down, that it's far from one of those "dark nights of the soul" that you hear about. This is something that will just pass and be fine. But tonight I have a faith deficiency. If it was something about me, something wrong with me, I would have been better. If it was something wrong with my mom or brother or friend I could have been <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Gibraltar</span> for anyone involved. But since it involves both my wife and my child (that is weird to type) all I can really summon up the faith for is the simple and selfish prayer of the undeserving hypocrite:<br /><br />God, just make it better. Take it away. This is not one of those heal my impossible-to-heal illness. This cyst removal won't be a miraculous healing to anyone but me and my wife, Lord. But isn't that enough tonight? Isn't it enough to just do us this one solid, this one blessing. We don't ask for much. We have not really come to complain or whine about the house that won't sell or the money we don't have or anything uncertain like that.<br /><br />Father, I just want my baby to be fine, normal and healthy. And I want my wife to have peace, to feel peace and wholeness. Seriously, God, I don't think that is too much to ask. I have never really been in this odd place and I feel out of sorts with it, Father. I thought I had rock-solid faith of that <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">unshakable</span> variety. But with this, I am wrong. Apparently I do not have brain-cyst faith. And I honestly think that is reasonable.<br /><br />I am not putting you to the test. I am not doubting or mocking. I am not forcing your hand. I am just simply asking for you to do something for my wife, for my baby and yes, for me, too. God, heal my baby and make the cyst go away and give us a healthy and normal pregnancy. No more speed bumps. No more tears over health and something that honestly really scares me.<br /><br />I am in touch with your greatness and the hugeness of this entire experience. A baby. I am sober. I understand. You don't have to do something like this to make a point of faith. I don't need to add this to my witness, my testimony. I just want this behind me and a healthy, normal baby.<br /><br />James says that we don't have because we don't ask. Well, I am asking. God, would you please remove this cyst, that is certainly nothing serious anyway, and give us a few more months of normal, healthy pregnancy? And would you give us a normal, healthy baby?<br /><br />Honestly, in the grand scheme of what You have brought us through in the past five months Father, I don't think that is asking all that much. And then, I also think it is the biggest, most important prayer I have prayed since April in 1988.<br /><br />Be our healer and peace tonight. We need our Jehovah Rapha and our Jehovah Shalom tonight. Amen.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-77014899052830050852008-09-28T21:33:00.000-07:002008-09-28T21:59:19.360-07:00Making a Move: When it StartedSo a few weeks back I said I would post about how we got to Newcastle, Oklahoma from Hot Springs, Arkansas.<br /><br />Well, it is not a short story. It actually starts over two years ago, well before I began dating Danielle.<br /><br />I finally decided to buy a scale to weigh myself. I knew I was obscenely overweight. But I had never really known how bad it was because I didn't have the number. So, I bought a scale. I took it home. I weighed more than the scale would weigh. It was devastating. Seriously, I just sat there and almost cried. I had never felt like such a failure in anything. Ever since my dad died of a heart attack, I was sort of scared straight. Well, in July of 2006, I had to return the scale for one that had 50 more pounds added to the weight limit. I needed almost all 50. That was sobering.<br /><br />I met with a counselor for a couple of sessions to figure out why in the world I was eating so much. We figured it out. Then I met with a doctor and we developed a diet plan. Then in November it started. As I was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">journaling</span> through October I really felt that God was making a covenant with me.<br /><br />Basically, if I lost the weight, He promised me three things:<br />1. A renewed life and job.<br />2. A wife.<br />3. A new job to go start over, to start fresh.<br /><br />A full year later, in December of 2007, God reminded me harshly about the promise I was ignoring. It was easy to stay where I was. But he clearly reminded me that He had kept his first two promises. And He would be faithful to keep the third.<br /><br />So, around December, I started thinking, well maybe God would move me. Or maybe he would move US when we got married. But I thought we were looking at 2010 or 2011. <br /><br />But his timing was a bit different. And he was clearly speeding the process up. He wanted us to move and move quickly. And we are blessed by that.<br /><br />Coming Soon: The specific verses God used to move me. And later, besides the lame, age-old "God made me move," what else figured into the move.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-15120463980486775192008-09-24T08:20:00.000-07:002008-09-24T08:24:46.996-07:00SYATP Part DosToday started at 4:30 in the AM. It should end around 10 in the PM. Yes, fair traveler, it is SYATP day. I blogged about the history of this a year ago, <a href="http://bigcraig.blogspot.com/2007_09_01_archive.html">here</a>.<br /><br />So, now I drag onto the finish line. And the kids should be collapsing now that their Krispy Kreme-induced sugar high has worn off.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-20343778681931877322008-09-09T20:54:00.001-07:002008-09-09T21:00:07.617-07:00Something NewWell, we have made the move. We left eight years of ministry in Hot Springs AR and moved to a similar position in Newcastle OK. Over the course of the next week or so, I will sort of go through the process that led us to a new place of ministry.<br /><br />For starters: The process is always impressive. For me, it is a process God started well over two years ago. He began preparing me for the new move back then. And as I look back and see how I improved or grew, how I stumbled and regressed, I can now see God reshaping me into something altogether new.<br /><br />So, hang on over the next week or so and I will post in two or three new posts and give the scripture behind the move, the promises of God I decided to cling to, the wrestling match God and I had over moving and also the benefits of a move that God put us through. Also, I will share the confirmations that I asked for and some I didn't. <br /><br />If you or someone you know is in this process, hopefully this will be helpful.<br /><br />Plus, I think my wife is ready for me to post SOMETHING new.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-48867401822967761032008-08-23T20:58:00.000-07:002008-08-23T20:59:12.072-07:00Resignation Letter<p class="MsoNormal"><st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Dear</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placetype st="on">Church</st1:PlaceType></st1:place> Family</p> <p class="MsoNormal">In August of 2000 I came to <st1:placename st="on">First</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placename st="on">Baptist</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placetype st="on">Church</st1:PlaceType> in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Hot Springs</st1:place></st1:City> to serve as the Minister to Youth and Young Singles.<span style=""> </span>Over these past eight years, God has blessed me with a great youth ministry with wonderful students, incredible youth workers, a talented staff to serve with and a loving and caring church.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">As your Youth Minister I have taught your teenagers to know Christ, serve Him with all their might, worship Him with all their hearts and be a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ in their schools, homes, in <st1:city st="on">Hot Springs</st1:City>, in <st1:state st="on">Arkansas</st1:State>, in the <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">US</st1:place></st1:country-region> and around the world.<span style=""> </span>I have also taught them to be totally obedient to God and his will for their lives, regardless of how difficult or painful that obedience may be.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Now Danielle and I enter into a season of painful obedience.<span style=""> </span>I am resigning my position as Minister to Youth and Young Singles as of August 24, 2008 to accept the position of Student Pastor at <st1:placename st="on">First</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placename st="on">Baptist</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placetype st="on">Church</st1:PlaceType> in <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Newcastle</st1:City>, <st1:state st="on">Oklahoma</st1:State></st1:place>.<span style=""> </span>This is a bittersweet season for us as we leave friends who have become family and a ministry where we were and are loved, cared for and prayed for.<span style=""> </span>Please know that we love you and cherish the relationships and experiences that God blessed us with in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Hot Springs</st1:place></st1:City>.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">We covet your prayers and appreciate all you have done for us as a couple.<span style=""> </span>We thank God for you and our time here with you at <st1:placename st="on">First</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placename st="on">Baptist</st1:PlaceName> <st1:placetype st="on">Church</st1:PlaceType> in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Hot Springs</st1:place></st1:City>.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">In Christ,</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Craig and Danielle Smith</p>Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-20266338748001961042008-08-10T19:58:00.000-07:002008-08-10T20:15:10.273-07:00They Come in 3'sI am sure you have heard that saying before. <br /><br />"They come in threes."<br /><br />Apparently, many things come in threes. Pregnancies. Traffic tickets. Car wrecks. And celebrity deaths. They come in threes. When one couple gets preggos, sure as shootin' another two couples are close behind.<br /><br />Well, the saying works. Last year we saw Luciano Pavarotti, Ike Turner and Robert Goulet die in a one month span. In 06 in one month we lost Gerald Ford, James Brown and and Atlantic Records founder Ahmet Ertegun. And also we lost cartoon producer Joseph Barbera, Peter Boyle and blues legend Jay McShann.<br /><br />Not enough proof? How about Pat Morita, Nipsey Russell and Don Adams for a 70's tv show trifecta back in late 2005? Or Bob Denver, Peter Jennings and Star Trek's Scottie, also in 05. Or even Eddie Albert, Frank Gorshin and Luther Vandross? See...they come in threes.<br /><br />Earlier this year we lost Suzanne Pleshette, Heath Ledger and Charleton Heston.<br /><br />So now we have lost Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes in the past two days. I think the third celeb to shuffle off this mortal coil will be consistent with the first two. It will be the untimely passing of a great black celebrity who has seen some great recent success.<br /><br />Possibilities:<br />- Bill Cosby - He is older but seems to be in good health and still tours.<br />- Dave Chappelle - Seriously, how come the death clock has never started ticking on Dave?<br />- Morgan Freeman - He would sort of be an unfortunate connection of the They Come in Three Rules as it applies to both the loss of a popular black celeb AND the dreaded Curse of the Dark Knight.<br />- Gary Coleman - He has not really had recent success but I am pretty sure he is still quasi-famous.<br />- Buddy Guy - Sure he is realllllllly old, but with Bo Diddley gone and BB King barely hanging on, Buddy might sneak by and finish off the 3.<br /><br />What do you think?Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-28839609787404122242008-07-12T20:26:00.000-07:002008-07-12T20:42:57.405-07:00The CreekSo, next week we take the young ones to camp. We are taking them to Falls Creek, the largest youth camp in the world. Throughout the course of the summer, there will be over 55,000 teenagers there. So, it should be a great week. Ropes courses, volleyball, skate park, alpine challenges, great worship, good teaching, great week building friendships. Exciting.<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Uhm</span>, only one drawback.<br /><br />The theme for the week is Graze. Awesome. I am not complaining about the spiritual implications. I am not saying it is weak theology or it doesn't have some dramatic punch. I am sure the committee who decided the theme had great reasons and justifications for choosing this theme.<br /><br />I hate it. On a personal, selfish level.<br /><br />I am NOT, repeat, NOT going to wear a shirt that simply says "Graze." As a large man, I do not need that kind of attention. Everyone would see me wear a shirt that says "Graze." Just a LOUSY idea for a big guy. Graze? Really? Why don't I just wear a shirt that says "Buffet," or "Wide Load," or even "El <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Lardo</span>!" <br /><br />Why would you ask overweight people to do that? Graze???<br /><br />This inspires me to ask the same committee to design shirts for other famous people or groups. Here is what they came up with:<br /><br />- "Crackhead" for Robert <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Downey</span> Jr.<br />- "Wino" for your local AA chapter<br />- a picture of a short bus for Longhorn fans<br />- "Purger" for whichever Olson twin looks like Karen Carpenter after three bong hits<br />- "Old Fart" for Brett <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Favre</span><br />- "Washed Up" for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Shaq</span><br />- "Wasted Space" for anyone who has ever appeared on an MTV reality competition show<br />- "DUI" for Billy Joel<br />- "Cripple" for FDR<br />- "Racist" for Don Imus<br />- a picture of Michael English for Dave Mac<br />- "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Pooper</span>" for Aaron New<br />- "Idiot" for Rhett <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Bomar</span><br />- "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">DLR</span>" for Sammy Hagar<br /><br />So, I go to camp. Where I will wear a shirt that doesn't come right out and say GRAZE on it. And I will submit about forty other themes for camp next year.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20012188.post-44250157682047819202008-07-01T19:21:00.000-07:002008-07-01T19:35:38.781-07:00Wanted: BabysitterSo, nothing much new here. Just hanging out. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Chillin</span>' out, maxing, relaxing all cool. No, wait. That's not right.<br /><br />My bride is having a baby! Holy cow! How awesome (and somewhat soon) is that!!!??? I have a theory on why it happened so soon.<br /><br />I hadn't had sex until I was married. I think after over 33 years of that, everything sort of leaned in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">pregnant's</span> favor. I am really excited though. I have always wanted to be a dad. I am pretty excited.<br /><br />Here is what surprises and somewhat annoys me about my wife: she is like crazy in tune with her body. She didn't feel good a week ago Saturday so she decided to take a pregnancy test. Affirmative. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Preggos</span>. She was even right on target to how far along she was. I asked her what in the wide world of sports made her think to take a pregnancy test in the first place? She said her body didn't feel right. Didn't feel right. Last weekend, while she was hooping it up in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">OKC</span> with all her friends and family, I was stranded in the Spa City all alone. One night, I slept on the remote to the ceiling fan (yes our fan has a remote...shut it David). And a book (sudoku is pretty addictive) and a pen. And my phone. I woke up the next morning on all of those items.<br /><br />My wife blinks funny, she knows she is <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">preggos</span>. I sleep on a bed of remotes and books and phones. Nothing. Sometimes I find scrapes and scabs that I never knew I had. I worry that I have that disease which doesn't allow you to feel pain. However, if I can pass that onto my son or daughter, we could possibly start breeding a type of super baby. Well, I digress.<br /><br />Did you know it costs like 200 bucks to have a baby boy circumcised? When we get to heaven, Abraham better reimburse me. Poor Abraham. Noah gets a rainbow.<br /><br />So, remember us as we live our pregnant lives. Since Danielle is Dr. Bombay, we are looking at like eight whole months of her being great with child. It will seem like a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">looooong</span> pregnancy. We also know it is early but I am already figuring out a name. If it is a girl: Eleanor <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Rigby</span>. If it is a boy: Ringo <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Elway</span>. Nice, right?<br /><br />My wife is awesome. She will be a great momma. I hope I can be a good pops.<br /><br /><br />One final thing: When I told my mom she would be a grandma for the sixth time, she simply replied, "Already?" She sounded genuinely annoyed. Thanks mom. Sometimes, she loves too much.Craig Smithhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11218141086648962370noreply@blogger.com3