Too Fat to Facebook!

McKinley Beth

2011-05-11T17:04:00.000-07:00

June 21st I will get to meet the strongest little girl. Her name is McKinley Beth. And she is my daughter. I have not yet blogged about her because A) I have not blogged that often and B) I was a little selfish and in a bitter little blue funk about McKinley. God decided that she should start her life off with some mysterious issues. So we have this omphalocele quandary to deal with. Danielle has been so strong and so level and centered the entire pregnancy. She has been the very center for our family. I have been the furthest flung planet in the Smith galaxy. But the past month I have been bringing my focus back around to what is truly important. Jackson and I have logged a boatload of daddy/son time. We wrestle. We talk. We sing. And we talk about how he has to be a good big brother for Baby McKinley, since she is "not feeling good." That is what I say to Jackson.

And I have enjoyed seeing McKinley's room fall into place. A nice chandelier, a new crib, a great comfy chair, new paint...it is a relaxing place. You can feel a sense of peace, like just after a fresh rain. A lot of positive ions coursing through there. Now we are collecting all things cute and many things pink. Danielle is quickly becoming an omphalocele expert, finding multiple online support groups filled to the rim with mommies who have been through the same waters we are wading right now. She even made me look at pictures of babies who have omphaloceles, since Baby McKinley's doctor suggested we do it. So we did. It was gross. But I assume when it is my baby girl and her issues, I will be fine with it. I just want to meet her. I want to meet my daughter. I want to see what Jackson is like as a big brother. Although I would like to get through our "head butting" stage first. I want to see what Danielle is like as a mom to a baby girl. I wonder what the differences are being a dad to a little boy and one to a little girl.

I hope that we are not away from our home for too long after McKinley comes. But if we are, we will be just fine. I am not as anxious or even as angry as I once was. Having a sick baby really modifies the way you think about God and Heaven. Once I worked through my anger, then I worked through a stage where I assumed that this sickness was either mean or arbitrary, either way it sort of tipped me back and forth a bit on where I stood with God. Now I am at a place of acceptance and of hope. And peace.

I just wanna meet her. June 21 we will.

Lenten Green Light

2011-03-08T21:54:00.000-08:00

So after sort of plateauing at around 30 lbs, I am getting back on track with some deeply liturgical inspiration. As Lent begins tomorrow, I will be getting back on the weight loss wagon. Life sort of speeds up in points and I sort of had a lot of retreating and traveling and celebrating that took place across many dinner tables. But now I am getting back on track.

Just in time for Lent too. Growing up Lent sort of mattered to me and my family, even though I don't remember much about specific celebrations in my strange mix of Southern Baptist and Disciples of Christ foundational stew. I do remember paying much more attention to the repetition and reverence for the history of the church. The DOC seemed to practice things that stretched back over a longer span of church history than did my grandparents' SBC counterpart. FBC Enid felt like the 1930's, with its bleating of the organ and stomping the pulpit against everything from dancing, boozing, Disney and Bart Simpson. But there was something refreshing about the celebration of the varied Holy Days found in the Advent season and Lent. I like that idea of getting back to the basics of prayer, penitence, giving of alms and self-denial. It really feels very Acts 2. I like how we have to really work hard to do about six weeks a year of what the early church did every day.

So my prayers will go up more consistently throughout the day. I will be finding private ways to remind myself how humbled I truly am in the presence of a Holy God. I will be giving a ton of clothes and other things away. I will also be denying myself the usual amount of food and distractions. Not to lose weight. But to actually bring more discipline into my life, to be able to live, speak and teach with authority. No more do as I say, not as I do.

Maybe this Lent finds you in a funk, spiritually speaking. Find ways to incorporate those four markers into who you are for the next six weeks. Pray for me, my spouse, my son and our warrior daughter. We thank you for all your thoughts. Keep them coming.

127 Texts

2011-02-07T22:00:00.000-08:00

Tonight I counted the texts I received from church family, actual family, cherished friends and brothers in ministry. There were 127 of them. 127 people letting me know that they are praying for us. If you are not up to speed on our precious baby 2, check my wife's latest post about it. Click on the link to the right.

That has all the info you need. My wife is a strong person. She has grown so much since the last bad report at an ultra-sound. And in the grand scheme, we know that God has a pretty special purpose for Baby Smith 2. How can that not be the case? We have 127 confirmations letting us know that they are lifting this up to the Father. I am praying Psalm 127:3-5 and Isaiah 41:10 for my family. If you pray, pray those verses for us as well. And thanks for the 127 texts. People let me know their stories. Some let me know that they were carrying this with us. Some let me know that they were there when needed. Some just wanted to touch base and make sure all is well. One even offered to let me scream, yell or cuss.

127 is a lot. It sure consumed a lot of iPhone battery. It is a bit humbling to have that many different touches from people. That meant that not only were they affected enough to stop whatever they were doing, they even offered up at least one prayer for us. Some committed to pray more fervently and consistently. And then they went so far as to actually let me know that they were praying. 127 people took at least one minute for me and my family today. At least two hours of prayer of intercession went up on our behalf. All I can say is thanks.

I will wind down here. But I will say this. I completely stole some advice that was intended for someone else about two years ago. I have two friends named Mike. The older Mike told the younger Mike (both are youth pastors) that he was a minister doing ministry before his kids were born. And now his kids are grown and out of the house and he is a minister doing ministry now too. But when he had kids, that was his only shot to raise them right. That was his priority. He wasn't going to be a great minister and a mediocre father. Now, substitute your job in the place of the words "minister doing ministry." You and I have one shot at raising our kids. That has to be our most noble calling. Not to the detriment of everything and everyone else. But be your best for your kids. Be very present.

I hope your kids get 127 minutes of thoughts and prayers and time each day. I am going to make that the goal for mine while they are my blessings. 127 minutes. A nudge over two hours. That isn't even as long as one of those fantasy movies that Christians love to claim as parables of faith, redemption and salvation. Am I giving my children 127 minutes? Am I trying?

I hope and pray that you continue to hope and pray with us. Danielle and Baby J and Baby 2 and I truly covet your prayers. Please give us another minute of your day each day for a while. That is all we ask. That is all we need. If you beseech the heavenly Father for us daily, that is greater than any other gift you could ever send us. And if you give 127 minutes to your kids? Double bonus. We love you and thank you.

Update 3: Shoveling Snow and Insulting Legends and Doctors

2011-02-04T23:13:00.000-08:00

So I haven't been so consistent in updating the blog. I apologize. My wife keeps up with 17 and I can barely keep up with one. So a few updates and then I am off to probably not update for another week or two. One would think with all the snow piling up outside that I would have ample opportunity to work out a blog update. However, that was before I had to shovel Superman's ice fortress of solitude off of my driveway.

You see, basically we live at the end of a wind tunnel. The wind blows all of the snow in the neighborhood into one massive drift in my front yard. It means I have a four foot drift to dig out of even when there is only about six inches of snow. Last year I was not very prepared to deal with my own Pike's Peak in the drive. This year I was. I attacked the driveway for about an hour three different times. After three plus hours of shoveling and sweating, I had cleared about one third of the drive. At least I can get the cars out. I went back out two days later and cleared a bit more out. The wife was a bit "anxious" about backing out. But now I can safely say that backing out is a "non-issue."

I want her to be comfortable driving. We still have some tense moments on highway 76 as the best and brightest in the greater Tri-City area continue to set land-speed records on this smallish, two lane highway with the unbelievable and unexplainable speed limit of 65. That is why I dug out more snow on the driveway and why she is already cruising the fine streets of the Metro in a brand new (to us) ride. We got a new car. The wife earned her mom card with a new mini van. It is a delightful black Honda Odyssey. She likes it. The J Train loves it. And it still smells new. And we were finally able to let them cash the down payment check only about two weeks after writing it. Even though the med claim stays open, I do feel mostly a sense of closure about my entire family being in a bad wreck. I still don't like thinking about my pregnant wife and my two year old son being in a wreck that totaled the car they were in. But there is one fun little anecdote I can take from this incident.

I took her to a hospital about two hours after the wreck so we could have an ultra-sound and hear the heartbeat. We drove out to a hospital in Moore that will remain unnamed as it is a great place and not very crowded. While she was in a room being attended by Norman doctors, my lovely bride managed to be rude and insult not one but three doctors AND Oklahoma's ONLY living inductee into the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame. The hospital we went to is associated with one in Norman. In fact the ER docs pull shifts in both Moore and Norman. So imagine my horror when my wife said, "I am glad to be here and not in Norman. I think they kill people at that hospital."

She said that. Out loud. Not in some crazy inside voice that you never, ever make known to the listening public. Especially listening public that you are implicating in a building-wide game of death tag. The doctors brushed it off as they would anyone accusing them of "offing" patients. I just stared at her. My other favorite thing was her flippant response to them asking her if she was ever unconscious after the wreck. She would typically answer, "I think I blacked out. It went black. I am not sure. Maybe I just closed my eyes." She wasn't sure if she was unconscious or just blinking. This is the same person who has self-diagnosed herself being allergic to ibuprofin or some such pain killer. But I nixed the "blacking out theory" because I could see myself talking her through two hours in an MRI machine. Ugh. And if it wasn't enough to insult the kind doctors taking care of her, she also managed to insult a living legend in Rock and Roll that I have been angling to meet for almost two years!

Wanda Jackson is the Queen of Rockabilly and a legend in Rock'n'Roll. She is a true pioneer who recently recorded a great album with Jack White of all people. A week after our meeting she would perform on Letterman. A week after Letterman, Conan. She was also two cubicles down in the ER with her 97 year old mother. I had called my best friend who had served at the same church Wanda attends when she is not RECORDING WITH JACK WHITE or talking about DATING ELVIS PRESLEY! I have her greatest hits on my iPod and iPhone. I listen to them frequently. My buddy saw her there and asked if she would meet me, telling her I was a big fan (quite true) and that my wife was pregnant and in a wreck and we were there checking on the baby. She had graciously agreed and he came in to get me. This had all taken place without my knowledge. I walked out and he said, "Craig, this is Wanda Jackson." I was shocked. I told her it was a great pleasure to meet her and I hated saying this in an emergency room but that I was a big fan. I scored points simply by knowing the band that made Jack White famous (which my very sheltered and sacred friend had not known). While she was telling me about Letterman and Conan, the wife came out and asked me for her driver's license. I gave it to her. Wanda Jackson addressed her too.
"I am glad you are okay, honey" said the Queen of Rock'n'Roll.
"Thank you, ma'am," grunted my loving bride.
Later when I told her who that was and that her own mother was very weak and failing, the wife was more sympathetic. One of the wife's high school friends who has always wanted to meet Wanda was more horrified than I was. But that is the wife. Had it been that guy who hosts The Bachelor, you know, the guy they pay a bazillion bucks to count roses each week, she would have gone apey. She would have introduced me as "a guy from Super Summer" instead of her husband had it been The Bachelor dude. But it was just Wanda Jackson. Ha. We still laugh at that.

An update on the weight loss: Since we last updated, I am down a total of 25 lbs so far. I have been faithful to workout and the lovely wife has been very patient with my persnickety diet. But it has been effective. My goal is to be down another 15 or so by March 1st. I have a retreat at the end of February with some other youth dudes. I am excited to be down enough weight to actually be in 60th percentile of body mass instead of the 90th. I also like not being the biggest guy in my church. I may not even be top five. I am certainly not top five in youth dudes. Those guys can strap on a feed bag and then wear out a couch cushion. I hope I can help them change that. We will see.

Week 2: Let Me Roll It

2011-01-20T20:51:00.000-08:00

"I can't tell you how I feel, my heart is like a wheel. Let me roll it." - Macca

So, this past week was pretty much a roller coaster. My wife and son and Baby 2 (still residing in his womby apartment) were in a wreck last week that totalled the car and threw our world into a week of tears, frustration, appreciation and thankfulness. I haven't really gotten to a place where I have a comfortable enough feel of my heart and emotions so I can write about it. Suffice it to say God and Honda protected my wife and God and Honda and the carseat protected my son and Baby 2 was safe because God and Honda protected him/her as well and Baby 2 is the size of an avocado, according to my iPreggolite app on my iPhone. When I am more comfortable I will write about it. I will say two things before I tell you about the sweaty progress. First of all there is a moment after your family gets smacked by a distracted co-ed going about 65 where you think "I could be all alone right now because of that one moment." It is overwhelming and awful and scary and produces the palpitations. For obvious reasons I don't like to think about it. And secondly it produces extreme perspective. To quote David St. Hubbins, too much perspective.

I have really done well with the weight loss. I have been logging every day and exercising often and I have lost another six lbs. I am in a good zone. The discipline of wanting to work out is slowly creeping back. I feel better, move better and look better. Thanks for all the encouragement.

People ask me what I am doing. I am counting calories and working out. I am eating less and eating better and exercising more. That is the trick. FYI, don't believe Suzanne Somers. If you are overweight and cannot lose it, it actually IS your fault. I am not allowed to blame faulty genes or the fact that Burger King sells original chicken sandwiches at a 2 for 5 dollar clip. I am only allowed to blame the owner of the hands shoveling food into my mouth. If you want to lose weight, eat less and exercise more. Eat less sugar and less carbs and less fatty foods. It really is that simple. Plan to lose weight and make appropriate plans. Set a start date that leaves you about a month to prepare. Figure out your workout plan. Clean out the pantry and fridge and freezer. Shop accordingly. Have a farewell tour of your favorite places to eat unhealthy. Then hit the diet and workout hard for about three weeks. After that it really will become a habit. After three weeks, allow yourself a cheat meal where you are allowed a taste of what you miss. Don't go crazy and have a 3000 calorie meal. And add one extra workout in your week.

That is where I am at. Next week I will have my cheat meal. Maybe. Right now I am not craving anything other than losing 20 pounds in January. I am making good progress. I will check in later. Just know that right now I am going to hit my goal weight by February 6th. Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. Keep them coming.

Also, there were some funny and awesome moments in that awful week that are related to the wreck. Maybe in a week or two I will write about that.

So far, down 13 lbs.

Week One: Welcome Back, you Sweat-hog

2011-01-10T21:57:00.000-08:00

"Welcome back, your dreams were your ticket out. Welcome back to that same old place that you laughed about." - John Sebastian

I joined the Body Shop here in Newcastle. Unfortunate name, as it reminds me of watching pro wrestling as a kid in Enid. Jesse Ventura used to host a talk show on WWF TV called "The Body Shop." The gym is nothing like the memory I had as a kid. The gym is quiet. The gym has friendly people. And nobody is busting Superfly Snuka over the head with a coconut. The gym is not crowded with muscleheads. The lone elliptical is always empty. Most folks use the stationary elliptical or the treadmill. I use the machine that has arms or handles that you grab and they move in rhythm with the legs. I use this because I had a trainer in Hot Springs named Allen who said always use this machine (I feel sort of like a Norse warrior as I simulate the cross country skiing) because the one you rest your hands on, that doesn't move, does not replicate real walking unless "you walk with a walker." I trust Allen Black because he lost a ton of weight, keeps it off, trains and participates in iron man competitions and has enough tattoos to really intimidate me into doing whatever he commandeth in the weight room.

But the Body Shop has everything I need. I use the free weights and the exercise ball and do some core strengthening and I use a few other machines. I have had a successful week of eating. People in my life have been very supportive and my wife has been very patient. I have dramatically cut calories and been faithful to log all I eat and all my exercise into my LoseIt app on my iPhone. The guys who share the app and are my friends on LoseIt have been very good to check on my progress. Thanks Chris, Zac, Dave and Jeremy.

I have dropped seven lbs so far, which puts me ahead of my weight loss goal for this week. I have not been hungry and I have not been weak. I drink an extra cup of coffee a day to jump start the metabolism. I stopped snacking. I have shunned almost all things sugar except the 100 calorie ice cream bars I sneak occasionally. I exchanged microwave popcorn (popcorn is my true snacking vice, along with Popsicles in the summer) for a hot air poppper and can enjoy a whole bowl for about 100 calories as well.

I even eat lunch once a month with a group of fellow student pastors and they were all gracious enough to eat at Genghis Grill so I could have a bowl of Mongolian BBQ for under 400 calories. It was awesome and I hope to be back soon. Thanks to my brothers in arms for being so faithful. I appreciate each one of them more than they know. Today I had some great encouragement from Micah, Nick, Sonny, Josha (sic according to his church's web page), Zac, Tribs and Kent. About 20 guys braved the snow and came for some fellowship. These guys can really be such a lifeline for me. And the encouragement and the high fives and the prayers mean a lot. Not every state has this sweet fellowship among youth ministers.

And my church hasn't really had a chance to celebrate with me but one guy has been on me about keeping up with the workouts and I am thankful for Jeff for that.

My only real goal is to be thinner and healthier by the time our second child is born in late June or early July. My friend Chris (another youth guy who refuses to eat with us but does send his regards most months) cared enough to speak some good truth in love into my life about being there to see my son graduate and get married. I don't ever want Jackson to know or have memories of me being so big. I don't like not really fitting into thrill rides or asking for lap extensions on planes (those days are thankfully behind me) and I hate forcing skinny, disciplined people to sit at a table instead of a more comfortable booth because I simply don't fit into a booth (another fifteen pounds and those days are gone too). I have since fleshed this out into actual weekly weight loss goals with six big goals to be rewarded along the way.

My wife has been so good and so understanding for me and with me. She doesn't say anything when I prepare something different for myself then what she and my son eat. And she indulges me as I buy weird low cal foods in hopes to stumble across something to add to an ever-growing menu. By the way, low cal turkey tacos and Craig McMuffins are my favorite. I had the tacos three times this week and have one serving left. Three tacos for about 335 calories. So good too. Full of flavor.

I am also diving into one focus in my devotional times. I read one chapter a day. I invite one person to church a week. I memorize one verse a week. And I focus my prayer life on 5 requests a day. When I get my eating and exercising in order, everything else falls into place. I hope to be able to meet with three or four guys at Super Summer Week 3 this year and give them some workout tips and actually work out with them, hoping to help them out. But I cannot do this if I am THIS big then. So I charted my plan into an excel spreader. I log my cals and workouts on LoseIt

I am blessed. Soon enough I will have my Eeyore spell and be a gloomy Gus. Until then, I will reward workouts where I burn over 1000 cals lifting and sliding with a Coke Zero with a lime chunk at the Sonic located uncomfortably close to the Body Shop.

So that is my update. Oh yeah. Surprisingly, I don't miss Facebook. Apparently I didn't care as much about everyone as I thought I did. And I am also spared a significant amount of the negative posts, immature status updates, finding out students "Like" things that make the devil blush and pics of teenagers with plastic Solo cups (ah, Solo, sponsoring underage drinking parties since 1983 - if you see a Solo, you know it's booze!).

If I can do ANYTHING to help you out, please let me know. And if you think about, pray for me this week. Weeks 2 and 3 are the toughest to stay connected and disciplined. After that it becomes more of a habit. My hope is to be under 3 large by February 1st. Pray me to that end, please. I will try to post more.

Signed,
Epstein's Mother (totally brings it back to Kotter...)

Too Fat to Facebook! Part 1

2011-01-02T21:31:00.000-08:00

"When it's time to change, then it's time to change." - The Brady Bunch

Real change happens when you make preparations in your life, adjustments for what is about to come. You simply cannot make wholesale change if you don't prepare for it at all.

So that is what I am doing. I made a seven point decision, all changes I must make if I am to be a healthy, happy husband, father, friend and youth pastor. These aren't resolutions because most of them have been swimming around in my head for a few months. However I am resolved. Some have been real wrestling matches. But I have settled on the following seven changes:

1. Going to lose well over 50 lbs by the birth of our second child.
2. Going to memorize one verse a week. Trying to memorize two chapters of scripture this year.
3. Going to pray for five requests a day.
4. Going to walk with Jackson and Danielle more.
5. Going to be a better youth minister by being on campus more, preparing more and preparing better.
6. Going to build more significant relationships with parents in our student ministry.
7. Going to try to develop a new model of doing Wednesday night programming to help the next generation lead out in the kingdom

Most of this can be accomplished by better utilizing existing allotted time for each area. The hitch is the losing weight. I need to find time again for that. To make room for it, I am dumping facebook. I spend about an hour throughout the day that I should be using for working out in the gym. When I lose 100 I will rejoin whatever is left of the Facebook world. Understand this is not an overtly spiritual decision. I am not leaving history's largest social networking site because God told me to or I am convicted because of all the negative posts or I am disappointed by all the cuss words on teenager's pages. I am simply too fat to Facebook. I wish it was more holy or spiritual. But long ago I gave up blaming God for all of the decisions I had to make to get back on track and outta my selfishness. If God was REALLY telling me not to do something, I wouldn't have started it in the first place.

No I am too fat to Facebook. Too nectarine-shaped to network. I have too much status to update.

Pray for me if you think about it. Or think happy, slimming, commitment-based thoughts. Or tell the little purple people eaters you sacrifice your raw spaghetti noodles to to throw me a bone. Even though Jesus has my back totally on this, I like it if you think you are involved too. So lob your crazy, wackadoo religiosities my way. Hopefully by the end of the summer, I won't be too fat to Facebook any more.

The Maddening Wait for the Late Rains

2009-11-05T08:50:00.000-08:00

"Be patient then, brothers, for the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains." - James, ch. 5:7
"My whole life is waiting for the questions to which I have prepared answers." - Tom Stoppard
"Tomorrow will be too late. It's now or never, my love won't wait." - Elvis

I never pray for patience. Ever. I never ask anyone to pray for me to have patience. Ever. In fact, I dissuade people from praying for that very thing. Because in my spiritual naivete I assume patience is only something you can learn through trying situations. Not so fast, my impatient friend. You have it. It is there, tucked away behind the love and joy with the self-control and kindness that we tend to ignore.

James uses an analogy that spoke to his readers about farming and the essential sets of rains to produce a crop in the Mediterranean. You needed both the autumn, or early, rain and the spring, or late, rain. So, how long do we have to wait for the late rains to come?

James speaks of that certainty that it will rain. That late rain will come. It is certain. I just don't have any idea when it will come. And the waiting for it to happen is difficult. It is difficult spiritually. It can be difficult physically. It is terribly difficult psychologically. Too often we are forced by faith to wait on things we cannot control, those vagueries of life. The farmer knows the late rains will come. He just can not do anything to speed them along.

I have a better chance at manipulating the rain than I do at pushing God's will along for me and my life. My problem is that I am not very good at waiting. And the late rains are very, very late in coming. They are coming, to be sure. But my struggle is figuring out how to maintain enough faith to allow me joy and peace in the interim.

So, James comforts me. Ironic that the book full of rebuke (he uses the term of brothers to remind his readers that he, too, is a member of their faith community and loves them) brings me such comfort today. Because now I know that I have within me the reserves to wait in harmony.

Waiting used to produce discord. I would grumble and moan and complain against whoever or whatever was causing me to wait. But James goes further in verse 9 to encourage us to maintain that unity in the bond of peace.

God is faithful. The late rains will come for me. They will come for you. My house will sell. The job situation will work out. The family trouble will pass. The health issue will be resolved. The relational conflict will pass into reconciliation. The late rains will come.

The question is what state of mind, body, soul and spirit will they find you in when they come?

Soul vs. Spirit

2009-10-02T23:03:00.001-07:00

Ulysses Everett McGill: What'd the devil give you for your soul, Tommy?
Tommy Johnson: Well, he taught me to play this here guitar real good.
Delmar O'Donnell: Oh son, for that you sold your everlasting soul?
Tommy Johnson: Well, I wasn't usin' it.

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from the desires that battle within you?" - James 4:1

"Therefore if any is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old is gone, behold the new!" Paul, 2 Corinthians 5:17

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin." Paul, Romans 7:15-25

Do you remember the old Tom and Jerry cartoon where Tom the cat was about to do something awful to Jerry the mouse and then out of nowhere, a mini angel Tom appeared on his shoulder imploring him to do right and be nice to Jerry? And then immediately following the angel's appearance, a devil Tom appeared on his other shoulder trying to convince him to do harm to Jerry? Tom would typically give into the demon.

I understand that is not truly the most accurate spiritual portrayal of what James and even Paul are talking about in their verses. But that is not too far from what is actually happening with us. We have these lesser demons we carry around with us all the time. They are in constant battle with the better angels in us. Not that we have literal angels and demons inside, I am using that more as an analogy to describe the struggle that goes on between the eternal aspects of who we are; the war of soul versus the Spirit.

Now, we understand that when we ask Christ in to be master, savior and Lord we are then inheriting the Spirit of God to live inside of us. We now have an eternal spirit that will allow us to experience abundant and eternal life. Eternal life with God in heaven.

So, are we therefore not eternal beings without the Spirit in us? Are we just temporal earth-bound flesh zombies wandering around until we expire? No. Of course not. We have an eternal destination awaiting us without the Spirit. Eternal separation from God in heaven. So, it stands to reason that we have an eternal aspect without God that sort of captures who we are, our personalities, how we relate to people - who we are deep down inside. Our soul. That immortal soul is bound for separation until we accept Christ as savior. And then the REAL battle begins.

That soul, that eternal essence that makes you who you are is at war against that spirit - James 4 talks about the problems we have and that they all stem from the war going on within our hearts. It is the war between who we were (soul) and who we are now (Spirit). We are almost constantly at battle with ourselves. Paul touched on this with his somewhat schizophrenic passage in Romans that doesn't really make sense until you realize that the new creation we have become is still at war with the old creation that will always exist somewhere inside us - it is eternal.

I was never really taught this. I was taught become a Christian and life will be sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. Nobody ever really shared with me how hard it would be to walk in Christ. Who I was, that awful and wicked and dead creature with such a huge appetite for sin would always be with me. Nobody ever told me. It was almost like Jesus was this tonic called "Sin B Gone!" and once I had taken it, everything would be better, easier and wonderful.

And it wasn't. I was still struggling with the same pet sins I used to before. Sometimes I still do. It never goes away. Ever. Why not? Because that will always be a part of who I am, whether I like it or not. That is there, deeply ingrained in my soul. And in a bittersweet way it makes me who I am. I can swing that pendulum from wretched to righteous, horrific to justified in a day or two. It happens so quickly for me. It truly is a constant battle. There is never a time when I feel confident that I have beaten that enemy down enough to rest. But there is good news.

You choose who wins. Simply by spending time with God, my better angels are strengthened, encouraged - reinforced, if you will.

There is a reason they are called better angels and lesser demons. You give God just a little time and He will help set a foundation that can stand up to that appetite. You give God a lot of time and He will really strip away what doesn't belong and you will begin to experience powerful growth. You will see things in a way you never saw them before. You will think things that you never thought before. You will have the eyes and ears and mind of Christ. That is more than enough to win that war.

Spend that focused time with God and it feeds the Spirit in you. Absorb the wrong things, allow the wrong thoughts and you feed the soul. The trick, the real hidden blessing, is finding the things that feed both - the Godly things that help the spirit thrive but that also connect with who you are- for some it is music, for some it is service for others it is simply relationships. You can find things that will feed the Spirit but will also satisfy the soul. Only God can provide those.

You know what those are now. You know what things truly feed your soul. They resonate deep within you, striking a chord with the very core of who you are. Why on earth are you NOT doing that all the time? Why are you struggling with all these other areas when you know what it is that will truly satisfy you? You have experienced it before. Go experience it again. And again. And again.

I never truly lived in Christ until I was spending consistent and focused time in God's presence and His Word. When I started doing that, things really started changing. When I do that now, things really explode wide open for me. And then I went on some mission trips and God began to fan some new flames that I didn't know existed. But they were always there. And then I began to visit two or three places that truly lit a fire in my Spirit and in my soul. And when in those dark nights of the soul when I feel that I am losing the battle, losing the grip of the Spirit, I reflect back on those things that feed both and I lean back into those habits and experiences and wonder why the heck I am so stupid and selfish.

Find the things that feed the Spirit and your soul. There are two or three or four that you know of. Help those better angels kick around those lesser demons. You have at your constant disposal a terrible and awesome force, a power you and I cannot even begin to understand. Depend on it today. You need to. If Paul struggled with the soul and Spirit war, what in the world makes you think you have it all down?

Lost

2009-10-02T22:06:00.001-07:00

I was drawn to Luke 15 today to read. This is the chapter with the Lost Parables - sheep, coin and son.

I assume this is where the 20th Century church coined their comfortable phrase as "being lost" to describe someone outside the body of Christ. However, after reading through this chapter a few times, I wonder if we missed the original meaning behind the parables.

We speak of the sheep and the coin and the son as if they are outside the family - without any previous ownership or are brand new. We equate these parables with people who have yet to become Followers of Christ. But that isn't really the case, now, is it.

The sheep was in the fold. The coin was in the purse with the other nine. The son was already a member of the family. They already had their place. They already followed a shepherd, belonged to a master and stood to inherit as a son of the father in the story.

The sheep is lost. Maybe it wandered off. Maybe it was separated from the flock. Maybe it nibbled its way off without really noticing what was going on. Regardless, the shepherd left the other 99 in an open field, where they might be safe in their numbers, to go off and find the one.

The coin was lost, misplaced by the woman. She lost track of it. But once she realized it was gone, she scoured her house, overturning furniture, checking under every cushion. She went back over every place she would have left it. She thought about the last place she had it. She searched carefully, meticulously, until she found it.

The son chose to leave. He took what was due him and left. He walked away from the family. There is no denying it. The younger son chose to leave the family. Eventually he realized the only way for him to truly live was not in sin, apart from the family. He noticed that the life the servants of the family was better than the one he was living. So he came back. While he was gone, the father was out looking down the road every day for him. He was hoping that one day that lost son would turn up, come home. He ran to his son and welcomed him back with warmth and grace. He never asked what happened. No "I told you so." He never made any mention of why the son left or what junk the son encountered during his rebellion.

As a minister these stories strike a real chord with me today.

As a shepherd, how many students have I allowed to wander away? How quick have I have been to go find them? So many students really are not equipped to cope with what life throws at them. It is my job to stand in the gap, lead them to safe places and go get them when they leave. Am I willing to make the difficult phone call? Am I willing to step into an uncomfortable conversation? Am I observant enough to know when the sheep has truly wandered off?

What about when it was my actions, my words, my lack of attention that helped to move someone out. It happens. People need an extra touch. Some need more time and more attention. The hurt and pain in their lives merit it at that specific season they find themselves. Am I willing to give them that? And if I don't and they end up gone, am I willing to meticulously communicate my concern and care for them by exhausting every avenue to get them back?

And what if they leave? What if it is clear that the student is having a crisis of faith and there is nothing I can say in the moment. They are going to take what they want and leave. Am I willing to wait and watch for them prayerfully and graciously? And when they come back, do I treat them with anything less the genuine compassion?

I draw a line in my ministry sand today. I will no longer accept it when a student wanders off. If you leave my ministry, if you disappear, if you wander away distracted, expect a full court press from me and the students and workers. You have some of my kids gracing your place, youth pastor? Expect a large youth pastor to make you very uncomfortable and fight for our sheep, our precious treasure, our family. I will drive to Tuttle, OKC, Norman...I don't care. I will come and sit in your office and ask you point blank why you allowed someone from another family, another flock to wander into yours.

I have been less than stellar at this. I am now going to sort of take these absences personally. I don't see you, I am calling you. I am going to push you, student, to come to church on Sunday and Wednesday and Monday nights and Sunday nights and every event and anything else I can think of. You haven't been baptized? I may just show up with a horse trough at your house!

Jesus loved us with a relentless love. In these stories he talks about what HE was willing to do to bring us back to the fold. What am I willing to do? What are you willing to do?

I am too old to care about what people think about me, especially if they are not a member of my church, my family, my flock.

And how did each of these stories end when there was reconciliation? When the lost became found? There was a party. We always say the same thing when someone becomes a follower of Christ - there is a party in heaven. Well, according to what Jesus says, when one comes BACK to the fold, we are to celebrate.

That means it is time to throw some shindigs. Go bring BACK what was once part of your treasure, family and flock. Relentlessly search for them. Meticulously exhaust every avenue until they return. And when they do, celebrate like you just won the Super Bowl.

The Invisible Young Adult Department

2009-10-02T22:05:00.000-07:00

Youth Ministers take personality hits all the time. Why? Because once these teenagers graduate into college, they stop going to church. I know. I was shocked too. They just NOW realized this? I knew it in 1994.

I am blessed here at my church. Our 18-25 year olds are very faithful and attend and serve and are a vital part of our fellowship. This isn't about my church specifically. Let me say that now. I am blessed to have many friends who are in their late teens and early 20's and are so great and faithful. This is more about the general criticism directed at youth workers from the church at large.

They act like there is something youth ministry or youth ministers can do to stem the tide of 18-25 year olds being an invisible element in church. And while there may be, let's revisit this from where most of us sit. Actually among that age group.

Most of the statistics out there show anywhere from 80-95% of people aged 18-25 are drop out of the church. First you need to know this about me. I always cast a very skeptical eye at any statistic. They survey 2000 people in New York, Ohio, Florida and Nebraska. How reliable are those numbers? However, I do know students graduate from high school and many also from their faith.

What could we do better in student ministry? That is always the question. Interestingly enough, it is posed by people selling you curriculum or a program idea that is specifically designed to aid in such a problem. How convenient. I most recently heard it from a Lifeway shill. He painted such a terrible picture of ineffective youth ministers and ministries, you would have thought every youth guy in the entire SBC was about to be on the unemployment line by Christmas.

They all raise questions. They all almost attack youth guys. And what is their practical step to help stem the tide of 18-25 year olds who are not coming to church in droves? Buy our book.

Great.

I have a little more insight, seeing as how I am not developing a book of curriculum (as far as you know). We have institutionalized the faith of our teenagers. Remember that predicament from Shawshank Redemption? Prison had totally formed their entire identity. Inside prison these men mattered, they had position and influence. Outside prison, they were just ex-cons.

From the time a church attender is born, their faith experience is basically programmed for them until they are 18. We plan the outings. We schedule the bulk of their spiritual formation with our teachings, events, weekly programs and camps. Parents leave most of that up to us. Teenagers leave most of that up to us. And then? Typically it stops.

We consider them adults. They go to college and most churches don't offer the same options. You go to Sunday school. You go to worship. You go to Wednesday Prayer Meeting and Gall Bladder Report. But there are no more trips. Maybe a retreat here and there. No more fun get togethers. No more Super Bowl parties and lock-ins. Unless you as an adult plan them. So now you are not only planning your life and your family, you have to plan your faith too?

The problem is we have not really equipped them to plan their faith. We have not really equipped them for that. The truth is we desperately need them to be co-dependant on us as Ministers to justify either our salary or our self-worth or purpose or all of the above.

The numbers say that churches are losing at least 3/4's of their college students. And it is our fault, apparently. Can you imagine what would happen if you inherited 40 sixth graders and by the time those kids were in 8th grade there were only 10 left? You would be under fire. You certainly couldn't go to the Children's Director and ask them what they heck they did wrong. You couldn't say that the Children's Ministry did not adequately prepare them for Youth Ministry. No, you have to take that hit.

I think Education Ministers come up with these stats to make them all feel better about adults not coming to church until they are in their 30's. Why actually think outside the box and problem solve when you can blame the Youth guy? Is it really that much of a stretch anyway?

And they never talk about the huge resurgence of church attendance by people in their late 20's and early 30's when they are bringing their families back to church.

So what can we do? I have some thoughts but none of them are complete and I would love to hear your thoughts too.

1. Develop relationships with them. Sounds easy. But sometimes their connection to their youth minister is really the only thing that may keep them around.
2. Give them the freedom to explore other churches. Maybe your church doesn't really hit the homerun with that age group. Let them go look. But you care enough to provide necessary insight into what they should be looking for. Any church that you can avoid actual in person attendance and just go worship online? Skip it. Any church where you may never actually meet the person who is preaching your sermon from another city? Skip it. The shepherd doesn't get to manage all the sheep on seven different mountains.
3. Show them what it means to serve God. Connect them to ministries and impress upon them the importance of a life of service. Not just a teenage experience.
4. Allow them to own some of your ministry. There is a fine line between student ownership of ministry and the inmates running the asylum though. Give them important leadership. But also press them to lead themselves.
5. Connect them to their faith in God through Christ. Don't allow them to live their spirituality vicariously through any personality, whether it be you, David Crowder or Billy Graham.
6. Keep up with generational markers and the the technology that is beginning to define their relationship management.

It has nothing to do with our silly facial hair or the ridiculous commitment we have to trendy hairstyles, backpacks and ball caps and flip flops. It has everything to do with a genuine concern and compassion for people. You can see your young adults thrive in church. And I guarantee you if they do thrive in your church, they are NOT giving you, the hard working youth minister, the credit, are they. I am really torn over this.

What say you? What else can you think of?

Diet - Week 1

2009-08-29T19:59:00.000-07:00

So, I am going to diet. The wife is doing some crazy hard 14 day diet where you eat all sorts of odd combination of foods like one meal you have two egg whites, fourteen almonds and cabbage leaves. The next one you can have frozen yogurt, edamame and acorns. I cannot even think about keeping that sort of diet.

I weighed in this morning at a nasty 314. Gross. Just months ago I was down to 285. Stupid lack of willpower. So, I am cutting into that. The first weight loss goal is to get BACK to 285 and get that reward meal at Eischen's in Okarche that I once earned but forfeited as soon as I became Fat Craig again.

I have done three major types of diets in my life. Atkins, counting calories and one I did at an old gym called the Fitness Zone back in Arkansas. I lost 20 pounds quickly with Atkins but gained it all back after I broke down and had a biscuit. I lost about 120 counting calories and gained about 60 back. Then I lost about 30 with the challenge. I still weigh about what I did when I came off of that diet. So, I am going to try that one for a few months and then I will go back to counting calories.

Here is the challenge in a nutshell. Basically, you exercise for around 30 minutes a day for six days.

For days 1,2 and 3 of each week you sort of clean your system out just eating green veggies, citrus fruits and lean proteins. No salt. No sugar. Stay away from processed foods. Eating the following foods prepares the body to burn stored body fat and eliminate toxins.

Below is a list of things you can eat these three days, with a sample day's menu:
Eat moderate amounts of the following:
Proteins:
- beef
- chicken
- water packed tuna
- turkey
- fish
- egg whites
- whole eggs (no more than 2 per day)

Veggies and fruits:
- cucumbers
- cabbage
- lettuce
- green onions
- green beans
- asparagus
- oranges
- celery
- broccoli
- cauliflower
- tangerines
- cantaloupe
- red/green bell peppers
- squash
- zucchini
- radishes
- collard greens
- brussel sprouts
- edamame
- eggplant
- spinach
- 1/4 cup old fashioned oatmeal
- grapefruit

You may use butter or oil to cook your food. You can season to flavor as long as there is no salt or sugar.

You may use oil or vinegar or any lite or fat free salad dressing. NO canned veggies.

You need to drink a MINIMUM of eight 8 oz glasses of water per day. Perrier and mineral water may be substituted.

In addition to water you may have two 12 oz cans of diet soda or 4 cups of caffeinated tea or coffee with 4 packages of splenda, sweet'n'low or equal.

No sugar. No milk.

NO breads, pasta, milk, cheese, condiments or fruit juices during days 1-3.

Days 4,5
You are free to eat everything on the list from days 1-3 and add any of the following in moderation.

1 serving of milk
1 serving of fruit juice
2 servings of any of the following fruits: strawberries, grapes, apples, bananas, pineapple, raspberries, blueberries, pomegranates, kiwi
Vegetables: tomatoes, carrots, sweet potatoes, parsley
Fibers: chick peas/garbanzo beans/kidney beans/black beans (1/4 cup)
1-2 slices of whole grain wheat bread
Cottage cheese
2 TBSP all natural peanuts or almonds
1 serving high fiber cereal
5 oz brown rice / 1/4 cup cooked pasta
2 TBSP condiments (ketchup, mayo, mustard)
2 heaping TBSP of wheat germ

Day 6
Same as days 4 and 5 but allow yourself 1 cheat meal if you desire.

Day 7
A free day. No rules or requirements. Just eat in moderation and watch your portions.

Then start over on days 1-3 etc.

Days 1-3
Breakfast: 1/2 cup oatmeal, 1 egg, orange
Snack: grapefruit
Lunch: large green salad with a can of tuna fish and lite dressing
Snack: cucumbers dipped in lite salad dressing and small orange
Dinner: ground beef patty, green beans, broccoli, cauliflower
Snack: Cantaloupe

Days 4-5
Breakfast: Fruit Smoothie (1 cup milk, 1/2 cup fruit, ice, protein powder)
Snack: Almonds, orange
Lunch: turkey sandwich on wheat, carrots, tomato
Snack: pineapple, cottage cheese
Dinner: grilled chicken, brown rice, big salad, asparagus
Snack: orange

If you actually eat this food, you will NOT be hungry. In fact, it is a lot of work to eat this much food in a day.

Tips:
- Get some Mrs. Dash seasonings. They are a life and taste-saver!
- Eat breakfast like a king (big healthy portions), lunch like a prince (medium portions) and dinner like a pauper ( a small meal)
- Try not to eat past 8 PM.

Of course, no booze. No sweets. No desserts. Save that for the free day but be smart.

Trapped With the Bachelorette

2009-06-22T19:17:00.000-07:00

For my wife's birthday, I ordered her this necklace she wanted that she saw on Ellen. Since they have yet to even ship the thing, I am now trying to buy my way out of watching the Bachelorette with her. Cake. Flowers. Nice dinner. Lunch. Not enough to escape watching it. So, since I have to watch it, I will blog about it and share my experience with the two people who read this.

9:15 - We start watching it. She DVR'd it. Praise Allah for the DVR function (side note - Pioneer Cable provides for us not Cox. With Cox you can DVR two shows at one time. Not so with Pioneer. Just one. Although this is the "Wave of the future" according to the third installer guy. I am beginning to think the name is not so ironic as it is accurate. Pioneer. One DVRd show at a time? What is this? The Dark Ages? The Wild West? Bah...)

9:16 - One of the eight dim bulb man-whores on the show just said the following while trekking across Canada on a train (what a great idea for a group date) after passing by a rather small lake: "Is that a lake or an ocean?" Shoot me now. As if that moron wasn't enough, it lead to the following conversation between me and my wife.
Bachelor Dude. "Is that a lake or an ocean."
Craig. Stares at his wife incredulously.
Danielle. "What?"
Craig. "Seriously? You are making me watch these morons? Why would she date them? They cannot even be trusted to sit the right way on a toilet seat."
Danielle. "Well, isn't Canada surrounded by oceans?"
Craig. "Yes. Just like the United States is surrounded by oceans."
Danielle. (it dawns on her) "Oh yeah. I thought it was an island."
Thanks public education and OBU. Thanks a lot. Good thing she is pretty.

9:23 - Robby gets a one on one date on the train. He wears a sharp looking fedora. They promo his date plus some freako who gives her a foot massage. Enjoy that now, sunshine. The massages go the way of the dodo after the "I do's."

9:25 - A rose tonight means she meets the guy's family. Robby is a bartender. He is now tending bar. Anything he can do to get the rose. Including getting her boozed up. A little liquid courage goes a long way.

9:26 - The bachelorette has no hand-eye coordination as she tosses the drink mixer thing all over the train car they are in. They drink their booze and head to a special car with an open area to feel the wind bowl them over. A peck on the cheek. Robby can fall in love with her. Or seventeen other women once this show is over. I am sorry. I am such a cynic.

9:28 - They are going to dinner in the caboose. She likes Robby. Robby talks with his mouth full. He talks about the family curse that keeps his older siblings single. I think curse talk is dessert talk.

9:30 - "Love doesn't have a job." - Robby from the Bachelorette. Move over Confucious.

9:31 - Wes has a secret plan. He is using this show to promote his CD. Shady Wes. Don't you know that you come on this show for the chance of love and THEN use it as a launching pad for professional gain? I don't know what is sillier. The fact that a guy thinks that alienating every woman who watches this show will sell his cd's or the fact that every other guy there is upset with Wes for his alterior motives. Why won't Jillian catch onto to this schemer!!??

9:32 - Robby bores me. I refuse to write any more. Although the other guys are struggling with Robby getting the date. I am struggling with the fact that this show continues to exist on TV.

9:35 - The train is slowing down. Someone may be getting the boot. Jillian talking up Robby. She is wondering if he is someone she would marry. In five or ten years from now. Owch. The train is stopping. See ya Robby. Hit the bricks. Called it. The other guys are watching her boot him off of the train. They cannot believe it. Hope they make him walk home. Should have mixed her a stiffer drink. Boy, talk about a family curse.

9:36 - Jillian is stone cold. Heartless. She says she is not good at it. I think she is. And if she isn't the producers of this show are. That was a memorable moment we will revisit again. One of the other guys is crying about Robby's departure. Crying. I have no words.

9:38 - I don't think Jillian is that sharp. The schemer is working her like a summer job. He may have sold his soul if he actually ever had one. I don't like this show but I know when someone is dark and evil. Even Hitler would be like, "Wes, dude. You are wrong."

9:40 - Jillian tells her that her heart was broken. But scrambled eggs makes it all better. My wife just asked me if the Rockies stretch into Canada. She thought they were just in Colorado. Seriously, Edmond North. Do you even teach geography?

9:41 - Just heard the following exchange.
Idiot #1 - "What do you think of Rocky Mountain Romance?"
Idiot #2 - "Isn't that an ice cream? No wait. That is Rocky Road."
Same dude who asked about the ocean.

9:43 - There is a sign of the first foot fetishist. And then a guy named Kiptyn. Or Kyptin. Or Krypton?

9:44 - Everyone playing hide'n'seek in the woods in the show in show shoes at Emerald Lake. Tee hee. So much fun playing hide and seek. Jake sneaked in a little cuddle! That character!
Please. Shoot me. Now.

9:46 - The moron left on the train is asking the train staff about whether or not he should wear glasses. Train staff dude is giving him advice on love. Always take advice from train ticket punchers when love and celebrity is on the line.

9:55 - I blacked out for a spell there. There was giggling. Cuddling. Drinking. Probly some kissing. Everyone always kisses on this show. The wife confirmed. Krypton got some snuggle and smooch time.

9:59 - I come to just in time to watch one of them drop trow and show him her man panties. Which led to the following quote that needs to be borrowed by the True Love Waits movement:
The Bachelorette. "It is too early. I don't want to see anyone's package." Straight from the New Testament, I believe. Idiot #1, you are now finished in the competition.

10:01 - The Foot Fetishist has rated her feet a 9 and a half. If the toes were painted Mango Mango, they would be a ten. This guy should probably get the axe. The Creepo Meter was off the charts. Last time I felt this way was touring Graceland.

10:05 - The guys are chit chatting. The Schemer reveals his evil plot to get airtime and pub to sell his merch! The guys are beginning to doubt his integrity. And she makes out with the third guy this episode. I hope there is a free clinic for these people to check out this crew. Bartender, two shots of penicillin, straight no chaser.

10:07 - The break dance instructor is talking about roasting marshmellows. He is worried about falling for her. I don't even like the two minutes of chatter that is being forced at me. How can she? Pretty people are thick and dense and it makes me sad. I am the only pretty person with heart, soul, wit and personality. It is my cross to bear.

10:09 - The Schemer and the Foot Fetishist Footsy McGhee are upset that guys are tattling on people who have girlfriends. The Schemer is beginning to talk about his plans. What a tangled web we weave. And there is a narc sighting. The Schemer is proving he is a moron. He is taunting the Narc. He is only there for his pub. The Narc will be confronting the lip tramp, er, bachelorette after the break and our mandatory weekly trip to the hot tub. Where Krypton gets his rose. Yay for Krypton. Breaking Two Electric Boogaloo is upset he missed the rose.

10:12 - Let's just get to the rose ceremony where the producers are bound and determined to keep the Schemer in with Krypton, Breaking Two and Idiot #2. I wonder who will get the last rose. Good bye Footsy McGhee. At least that is my prediction. The commercial pilot is the wild card. Not sure about him. I will now take a Coke Zero break until they get to the Rose Ceremony.

I begged my wife to skip the one on one with Reid (I thought there were only seven or eight? These guys keep coming like bad guys in a Jackie Chan movie). She wouldn't skip it. I had to watch Reid break his ribs while trying to learn how to snowboard. Apparently, Jillian digged that he went for it. More kissing. I think she makes out with David Hasselhoff after the break.

Apparently the boys are jealous of Reid. Which makes America want to root for him. She made a Christmas morning reference to Reid, a Jewish man. Only one thing to make up for such an insensitive anti-semitic statement. More kissing.

Back from commercial. Reid doesn't dig fondue. Reid is minsching all over the place. It's a mitzvah in there. Reid just confirmed Jillian is not his typical type. What he means is, she is a Gentile. And of course she is now totally obsessed with Reid. Bingo. Make that a rose for The Rabbi and Krypton. And I was right. She is giving him the rose. Hava nagila! There could be a wedding soon!

Rose Ceremony. Two down. One to Krypton and the Rabbi each. Who could be next? Oh the suspense. She is talking now. She is struggling with the decision. Five stay. Two go home. She has already doled out two. Tension...Jillian has questions! Holy Cow! Cue the suspenseful music as she asks questions of the young Breaking Two Electric Boogaloo. Age difference worries her. He is in panic stage. He is stating his case. I am not sure how old she is. Maybe 28? 30? He doesn't mind being a young dad. This dude is going a mile a minute. I think his dad used to pitch Micro Machines.

The Narc is sniffing out who has a girlfriend. The Schemer is anxious. Tense music. What to think...

The third rose goes to Idiot #2. He asked her what that red thing was.
The fourth rose goes to The Schemer. Bingo. So far, two for two. You know the producers are BEGGING her to keep him so they can hook viewers in.
The fifth and final rose goes to Breaking Two Electric Boogaloo. Foot Feshisist and Idiot #1 are toast. Who called it, America? Craig did.

Uh oh. Footsy McGhee is perturbed about getting the axe. Lots of cuss words. Apparently the producers saw ratings raise with this creepazoid off the show.

Idiot #1 asks her why he got the boot. I would assume it was when he dropped trow and showed off his BVDs. Idiot #1 cannot believe that he is done. Idiot #1 points out that nice guys finish last. Well, only the nice guys with a streak of exhibitionist. Nice guys keep their pants on in large groups of people, friend. But he warns of this evil Schemer!

Apparently they go from Canada to Hawaii to Spain. And she gets to meet the Schemer's Band. And Idiot #1 returns to sabotage the Schemer. So much to keep up with America. And Jillian makes out with Mr. T and Spongebob Squarepants.

And you can keep up with it. I have Arrested Development reruns to watch.

February 20-21

2009-03-03T13:03:00.000-08:00

Someone told me I would want to write out exactly what happened when Jackson, my son, was born so one day I could tell him everything. So I started working on this close to when he came. We will see how much I remember.

Friday February 20, 2009

10AM - I am heading out to eat lunch with my brother and do some afternoon prep for a DNOW in NW OKC
10:11 - Get a text from my wife. Says the following. "Just totally lost all of my mucus plug."
10:12 - Dry heaves set in. My wife is gross.
10:14 - Get this text to follow: "I got a spoon so I could get the plug out of the toilet and look at it."
10:15 - I am now screaming how gross it is. Then she calls to see if I am grossed out. I am
11:00 - Meet my brother Kurt. He is more squeamish and weak-stomached than I am. I inform him about the mucus plug. He is quite offended.

Time passes. Things are moving along. My very pregnant wife is eating dinner with a friend. Then they will drive over to hear me speak Friday night. Before she gets there, she sends me this text at around 5PM.

5:00PMish - I wonder if my water broke.

We (meaning she) decides to wait until after I speak to call the hospital and see if we should come in. We live in Newcastle. We are going to deliver at Mercy. After I speak, they ask her some basic questions. She answers honestly. They tell us to get out fannies to the hospital.

9:3oPM - We get our fannies to the hospital. We are admitted. She is pushed in a wheel chair. She loves that.
9:31 - David the head ER nurse sprints away with my wife in his wheel chair. I struggle to keep up. Apparently David has had to deliver a baby in the elevator and refuses to do that again, hence the rapid pace. (after going through all the mess of birth, I don't really blame him)
9:40 - A piece of paper is brought in to confirm whether or not we are in labor. If it comes out blue, we are staying and having a baby.
9:41 - It is blue.
9:42 - I pass out briefly.
9:45 - We make some preliminary phone calls and texts. Jackson will be here by Saturday night. We are waiting for a new room.
9:50 - The wife complains about the ugly small room we are in presently, while we await the Birthing Suite.
10:15 - More complaining about the yucky, ugly room.
10:30 - We get into our room that we will be in until Sunday. Her mom and dad arrive. They are planning on staying until they have a grandson. Which means sleeping will not be happening on the love seat and foldy chair we have.
11:00 - We meet out nurse. We like our nurse. We will like all of our nurses. She explains that the wife is still at a "2." You have to be at a "10" before baby comes. "2" is a long way from "10" I think to myself.
11:30 - Apparently it is not THAT far away. They give her this medicine called pitocin. It will inflict crazy pain on her innards and help speed things along.
12:30 - The pain of contractions are now enough to merit the epidural - or Cousin Eppy. Cousin Eppy will be the second most anticipated arrival all weekend for my wife and me.
1:30 - Eppy is administered. I watch as much as my weak stomach can handle. Which is surprisingly a lot. That epidural needle...intense....getting woozy right now typing...
2:30 - She is not feeling the pain so much. Her legs are wobbly and heavy. Her feet are rather tingly. She will not be in the bed until well after Jackson comes. Apparently her legs will be all higgledy piggledy for a spell. Now she knows how I felt when I got the mucus plug text.

During the next eight hours we called brothers and mothers and family and friends. Her brother Ward made the trip home from a fly fishing retreat to be there. My brother Kurt and his family await word on when things start getting serious to come up. My mom agrees to come up after Jackson comes so she won't be in the way? My mom is different, to say the least.

The Loveseat: Her parents curl up into some awfully uncomfortable-looking human pretzel on a little loveseat. We will find out later Saturday night that it pulls out into a full fledged sofa. Thanks to all of those nurses who came in to poke, prod and fidget with my wife who never told my poor in-laws that it expanded.

Her brother Ward arrived at about 7AM. My brother and his family made it around 10ish. My sister-in-law arrived before that. About then things speed up significantly.

10AM - People are beginning to show up. Julie, Ward, his girlfriend Reese. Some friends from church in Newcastle. My brother and his family.
10:30 - She is about a "6" even after all of that action. Nurses have changed and now we have the one who will be there when Jackson comes. Our doctor (well, HER doctor) is unavailable but not to worry, another doctor from the same office, Dr. Wayman, will be there to deliver and she is great too.
11:00 - We meet Dr. Wayman. She is small. But that size will prove to be deceptive.
11:30 - The nurse clears the room so we can check and see what number we are now. I am assuming "7" or "8" tops. HOLY COW we are a "9 1/2!" I ask her to tell the family to head to the waiting area since we are getting close.
12:00 - The nurse begins working with Danielle practicing pushing. About that time, I am basically just room dressing. I better be there but don't say or do anything. This is the moment when most dads acquire or develop the "dad's blank stare" as we realize that women are crucial to the world, the planet our species. They will be so involved and have to shove and sweat and bleed and move and create. My part was essentially over back in early June. Seventeen seconds, more or less, was my part in this great mystery of bringing new life into the world. So I just stare.
1:10 - After trying many different pushing techniques, all working different muscle sets, Danielle and Jackson are ready. The doctor comes in. A tech comes in. Some nursery type person comes in. I have two important jobs in the delivery. Three if my stomach holds up.
1) Cover the TV with a sheet so the wife won't see anything horrifying reflecting back for her
2) Take pictures
3) Cut a chord.
I am holding the camera, ready with fresh batteries. The TV was covered back around noon thirty. I am still having the internal argument over cutting the chord. A room full of woman pushing and bleeding or standing and working in all that life-giving goop. And I may or may not cut a chord. We will see. After that, maybe I can get all these ladies a tea or something.

The doctor arrived. Danielle is in position. And she is shoving. Pushing. Working it like a summer job. She is a great pusher now. Her first start back around noon was not so successful.
The nurse said, "Okay, Danielle. Let's practice pushing."
Danielle squints her face and pushes.
"Not so much with your face."
But now she can push. She pushes and strains for three straight ten counts. Then a rest. Then the doctor performs what I now call "The Maneuver." I saw it. Holy-God-sitting-on-the-highest-throne-in-Heaven-with-Jesus-right-next-to-him I SAW IT. And MAN was it impressive. Then she tells Danielle to push.
Danielle pushes. It was impressive. The doctor was even impressed by it. Danielle hulked out.
"Whoa! What was that! That was a huge push. Okay, Danielle, a gentle push."

A gentle push. Some wiping and cleaning. A catch-all on her stomach. And there he is.

Jackson is laid out on my wife's stomach.

Some men get emotional. Some cry. Some weep. I wiped away a tear or two later that day. But when he came out I was just overwhelmed. It was really cool. And really gross.

But there is nothing like it. Nothing at all. I texted my brother-in-law to tell him he was an uncle. And that was how the rest of the world heard about Jackson Ward first. I texted Ward: "Holy cow! You are an uncle!"

Then I texted my brother the important stats and snapped a picture or two.

Then I cut the chord. And kept the scissors. Cause that is how I roll.

I gently kissed my wife and told her how beautiful he was and how proud I was of her. Then they poked and prodded and did what they do to newborns. After that flurry my wife asked for it to just be our family for a bit. It was quiet. Jackson was there with us. My wife and son.

Then I was sent to get and gather up people two by two. My brother Kurt brought her some lunch. And then a few hours later Danielle would send me out to finish speaking that night at the DNOW. I thought it was some spiritual female intuition. Some insight into God's will that she possessed after child birth. Besides, I saw what she did. I am not screwing with her after that. She wants me to quack like a duck in a speedo, I am doing it. But she just wanted to guarantee that I got the paycheck. So I spoke. I ate two bean burritos from Taco Bueno to celebrate. One for her. One for Jackson.

Then I spent my first night with my wife and son and a converted love seat.

Since then? I am not exhausted. I am slightly tired. I refer to it as "an hour short of normal." But I think I have been like that my whole life. Jackson is a sweet and cute and awesome little dude. And everyone who holds him falls absolutely in love with him. That is the truth. He is the coolest person.

Now I cannot wait to hear him laugh. I know that comes later but still I hope that I get to hear his first laugh. I hope it is in response to something silly or stupid that I do for him.

And my wife? She is absolutely my hero. I think every dad feels that way, deep down. Their wives are their heroes. And their kids are their everything. At least that is how I feel. I cannot wait until Jackson wears his Beatles shirt and listens to my ipod.

RIP iPod...again...

2009-01-29T08:04:00.000-08:00

Well, someone decided to be helpful and hook my iPod up to their laptop, which had their iTunes set to sync up iPods with their own personal library. Which means all of my songs, waaaaayy too many songs, were deleted.

So, now, I have to find all my cd's so I can start over. I realize that I will never EVER get back to where I was. I had all the McCartney solo stuff. That makes me sort of sad. Right now I have almost 20 songs on my iPod.

At least I can sing to Jackson when he comes since I won't be able to find out which music would calm him down.

Maybe I should start a special foundation people could donate to so I can get the music back. Sort of piggy-back on that "Keep Music in Schools" sort of thing.

Luke 1:14

2009-01-05T08:54:00.000-08:00

I am totally lifting a verse out of context but it is the verse I have been praying for Jackson the past week or so. I know it was not my idea to pray this verse over a son...

Luke 1:14 "And you will have joy and gladness, and many will rejoice at his birth."

I know that as the "Due Date" gets closer and closer, I am getting more and more excited to meet my son! How incredible is THAT? And he is already bringing joy and gladness. It is my heartfelt prayer that Jackson will bring joy to many lives and be a huge blessing to my family, church, ministry and friends. I know that many in OKC, Newcastle, Hot Springs, Denver, Dallas, Houston, Baton Rouge and even Oregon will rejoice with us as Jackson makes the scene in late February.

I know you are not as excited about my son as I am, but shift those prayers slightly so that not only will he be healthy, but he will be a blessing and folks will join us in rejoicing and praising God for our healthy, happy, handsome and basically absolutely the coolest boy ever born - Jackson.

Our Prayer List

2008-10-22T21:40:00.000-07:00

My buddy gave me some great advice. When he and his wife were expecting their son, they started praying very specifically about many things. To quote my pastor, "You don't have because you don't ask." Well, James via my pastor. But as far as it accounts with me, I am going to let you in on the very specific things I(we) am(are) praying for:

1. A healthy, cyst-free pregnancy.
2. Danielle to be able to enjoy life until the baby comes, without any bumps in the road.
3. Jackson to be born in a smooth and normal birth.
4. Jackson to sleep through the night early on.
5. Jackson to be a healthy and happy baby boy - sans colic.
6. That Jackson would take to nursing with Danielle.
7. That our house sells ASAP, before the baby comes with enough time for us to house hunt, shop, purchase and get it ready for a baby.

That is the list. As far as it goes with me, I am praying for these things daily.

The Selfish Prayer of a Hypocrite

2008-10-06T20:43:00.001-07:00

We had an ultrasound today. Our baby is around 20 weeks along and we are so excited. Today we saw the heart, the backbone, the fingers and thigh bones. We even know what gender our little one is, which will remain a surprise to you until our families know. We also saw the brain. And the little cyst on the brain. Well, we didn't see it. Our doctor did.

Apparently it is a little one and the doctor, a confirmed straight shooter, felt confident it was nothing. It is somewhat common amongst little ones in the womb to have these cysts that go away on their own. Our doctor confessed that both of her children had the same thing. A cyst on the brain. Now, the worst case scenario is a chromosome issue which could mean a slim chance of something like downs syndrome. Our doctor is having us take another ultrasound in two weeks on a better machine with a specialist "just to be sure." But, again, she is sure it is not serious since nothing else from the ultrasound gave them pause.

Well, I know my doctor is sleeping well tonight. I bet the ultrasound tech lady is sleeping good tonight. I won't be. I hope my wife does but I have lingering doubts about that as well. By the middle of the afternoon, I was a wreck. I couldn't focus. All I could think about was my baby with a cyst on its brain.

Usually I have enough faith for something like this. I know, deep down, that it's far from one of those "dark nights of the soul" that you hear about. This is something that will just pass and be fine. But tonight I have a faith deficiency. If it was something about me, something wrong with me, I would have been better. If it was something wrong with my mom or brother or friend I could have been Gibraltar for anyone involved. But since it involves both my wife and my child (that is weird to type) all I can really summon up the faith for is the simple and selfish prayer of the undeserving hypocrite:

God, just make it better. Take it away. This is not one of those heal my impossible-to-heal illness. This cyst removal won't be a miraculous healing to anyone but me and my wife, Lord. But isn't that enough tonight? Isn't it enough to just do us this one solid, this one blessing. We don't ask for much. We have not really come to complain or whine about the house that won't sell or the money we don't have or anything uncertain like that.

Father, I just want my baby to be fine, normal and healthy. And I want my wife to have peace, to feel peace and wholeness. Seriously, God, I don't think that is too much to ask. I have never really been in this odd place and I feel out of sorts with it, Father. I thought I had rock-solid faith of that unshakable variety. But with this, I am wrong. Apparently I do not have brain-cyst faith. And I honestly think that is reasonable.

I am not putting you to the test. I am not doubting or mocking. I am not forcing your hand. I am just simply asking for you to do something for my wife, for my baby and yes, for me, too. God, heal my baby and make the cyst go away and give us a healthy and normal pregnancy. No more speed bumps. No more tears over health and something that honestly really scares me.

I am in touch with your greatness and the hugeness of this entire experience. A baby. I am sober. I understand. You don't have to do something like this to make a point of faith. I don't need to add this to my witness, my testimony. I just want this behind me and a healthy, normal baby.

James says that we don't have because we don't ask. Well, I am asking. God, would you please remove this cyst, that is certainly nothing serious anyway, and give us a few more months of normal, healthy pregnancy? And would you give us a normal, healthy baby?

Honestly, in the grand scheme of what You have brought us through in the past five months Father, I don't think that is asking all that much. And then, I also think it is the biggest, most important prayer I have prayed since April in 1988.

Be our healer and peace tonight. We need our Jehovah Rapha and our Jehovah Shalom tonight. Amen.

Making a Move: When it Started

2008-09-28T21:33:00.000-07:00

So a few weeks back I said I would post about how we got to Newcastle, Oklahoma from Hot Springs, Arkansas.

Well, it is not a short story. It actually starts over two years ago, well before I began dating Danielle.

I finally decided to buy a scale to weigh myself. I knew I was obscenely overweight. But I had never really known how bad it was because I didn't have the number. So, I bought a scale. I took it home. I weighed more than the scale would weigh. It was devastating. Seriously, I just sat there and almost cried. I had never felt like such a failure in anything. Ever since my dad died of a heart attack, I was sort of scared straight. Well, in July of 2006, I had to return the scale for one that had 50 more pounds added to the weight limit. I needed almost all 50. That was sobering.

I met with a counselor for a couple of sessions to figure out why in the world I was eating so much. We figured it out. Then I met with a doctor and we developed a diet plan. Then in November it started. As I was journaling through October I really felt that God was making a covenant with me.

Basically, if I lost the weight, He promised me three things:
1. A renewed life and job.
2. A wife.
3. A new job to go start over, to start fresh.

A full year later, in December of 2007, God reminded me harshly about the promise I was ignoring. It was easy to stay where I was. But he clearly reminded me that He had kept his first two promises. And He would be faithful to keep the third.

So, around December, I started thinking, well maybe God would move me. Or maybe he would move US when we got married. But I thought we were looking at 2010 or 2011.

But his timing was a bit different. And he was clearly speeding the process up. He wanted us to move and move quickly. And we are blessed by that.

Coming Soon: The specific verses God used to move me. And later, besides the lame, age-old "God made me move," what else figured into the move.

SYATP Part Dos

2008-09-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

Today started at 4:30 in the AM. It should end around 10 in the PM. Yes, fair traveler, it is SYATP day. I blogged about the history of this a year ago, here.

So, now I drag onto the finish line. And the kids should be collapsing now that their Krispy Kreme-induced sugar high has worn off.

Something New

2008-09-09T20:54:00.001-07:00

Well, we have made the move. We left eight years of ministry in Hot Springs AR and moved to a similar position in Newcastle OK. Over the course of the next week or so, I will sort of go through the process that led us to a new place of ministry.

For starters: The process is always impressive. For me, it is a process God started well over two years ago. He began preparing me for the new move back then. And as I look back and see how I improved or grew, how I stumbled and regressed, I can now see God reshaping me into something altogether new.

So, hang on over the next week or so and I will post in two or three new posts and give the scripture behind the move, the promises of God I decided to cling to, the wrestling match God and I had over moving and also the benefits of a move that God put us through. Also, I will share the confirmations that I asked for and some I didn't.

If you or someone you know is in this process, hopefully this will be helpful.

Plus, I think my wife is ready for me to post SOMETHING new.

Resignation Letter

2008-08-23T20:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Church Family

In August of 2000 I came to First Baptist Church in Hot Springs to serve as the Minister to Youth and Young Singles. Over these past eight years, God has blessed me with a great youth ministry with wonderful students, incredible youth workers, a talented staff to serve with and a loving and caring church.

As your Youth Minister I have taught your teenagers to know Christ, serve Him with all their might, worship Him with all their hearts and be a testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ in their schools, homes, in Hot Springs, in Arkansas, in the US and around the world. I have also taught them to be totally obedient to God and his will for their lives, regardless of how difficult or painful that obedience may be.

Now Danielle and I enter into a season of painful obedience. I am resigning my position as Minister to Youth and Young Singles as of August 24, 2008 to accept the position of Student Pastor at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Oklahoma. This is a bittersweet season for us as we leave friends who have become family and a ministry where we were and are loved, cared for and prayed for. Please know that we love you and cherish the relationships and experiences that God blessed us with in Hot Springs.

We covet your prayers and appreciate all you have done for us as a couple. We thank God for you and our time here with you at First Baptist Church in Hot Springs.

In Christ,

Craig and Danielle Smith

They Come in 3's

2008-08-10T19:58:00.000-07:00

I am sure you have heard that saying before.

"They come in threes."

Apparently, many things come in threes. Pregnancies. Traffic tickets. Car wrecks. And celebrity deaths. They come in threes. When one couple gets preggos, sure as shootin' another two couples are close behind.

Well, the saying works. Last year we saw Luciano Pavarotti, Ike Turner and Robert Goulet die in a one month span. In 06 in one month we lost Gerald Ford, James Brown and and Atlantic Records founder Ahmet Ertegun. And also we lost cartoon producer Joseph Barbera, Peter Boyle and blues legend Jay McShann.

Not enough proof? How about Pat Morita, Nipsey Russell and Don Adams for a 70's tv show trifecta back in late 2005? Or Bob Denver, Peter Jennings and Star Trek's Scottie, also in 05. Or even Eddie Albert, Frank Gorshin and Luther Vandross? See...they come in threes.

Earlier this year we lost Suzanne Pleshette, Heath Ledger and Charleton Heston.

So now we have lost Bernie Mac and Isaac Hayes in the past two days. I think the third celeb to shuffle off this mortal coil will be consistent with the first two. It will be the untimely passing of a great black celebrity who has seen some great recent success.

Possibilities:
- Bill Cosby - He is older but seems to be in good health and still tours.
- Dave Chappelle - Seriously, how come the death clock has never started ticking on Dave?
- Morgan Freeman - He would sort of be an unfortunate connection of the They Come in Three Rules as it applies to both the loss of a popular black celeb AND the dreaded Curse of the Dark Knight.
- Gary Coleman - He has not really had recent success but I am pretty sure he is still quasi-famous.
- Buddy Guy - Sure he is realllllllly old, but with Bo Diddley gone and BB King barely hanging on, Buddy might sneak by and finish off the 3.

What do you think?

The Creek

2008-07-12T20:26:00.000-07:00

So, next week we take the young ones to camp. We are taking them to Falls Creek, the largest youth camp in the world. Throughout the course of the summer, there will be over 55,000 teenagers there. So, it should be a great week. Ropes courses, volleyball, skate park, alpine challenges, great worship, good teaching, great week building friendships. Exciting.

Uhm, only one drawback.

The theme for the week is Graze. Awesome. I am not complaining about the spiritual implications. I am not saying it is weak theology or it doesn't have some dramatic punch. I am sure the committee who decided the theme had great reasons and justifications for choosing this theme.

I hate it. On a personal, selfish level.

I am NOT, repeat, NOT going to wear a shirt that simply says "Graze." As a large man, I do not need that kind of attention. Everyone would see me wear a shirt that says "Graze." Just a LOUSY idea for a big guy. Graze? Really? Why don't I just wear a shirt that says "Buffet," or "Wide Load," or even "El Lardo!"

Why would you ask overweight people to do that? Graze???

This inspires me to ask the same committee to design shirts for other famous people or groups. Here is what they came up with:

- "Crackhead" for Robert Downey Jr.
- "Wino" for your local AA chapter
- a picture of a short bus for Longhorn fans
- "Purger" for whichever Olson twin looks like Karen Carpenter after three bong hits
- "Old Fart" for Brett Favre
- "Washed Up" for Shaq
- "Wasted Space" for anyone who has ever appeared on an MTV reality competition show
- "DUI" for Billy Joel
- "Cripple" for FDR
- "Racist" for Don Imus
- a picture of Michael English for Dave Mac
- "Pooper" for Aaron New
- "Idiot" for Rhett Bomar
- "DLR" for Sammy Hagar

So, I go to camp. Where I will wear a shirt that doesn't come right out and say GRAZE on it. And I will submit about forty other themes for camp next year.

Wanted: Babysitter

2008-07-01T19:21:00.000-07:00

So, nothing much new here. Just hanging out. Chillin' out, maxing, relaxing all cool. No, wait. That's not right.

My bride is having a baby! Holy cow! How awesome (and somewhat soon) is that!!!??? I have a theory on why it happened so soon.

I hadn't had sex until I was married. I think after over 33 years of that, everything sort of leaned in pregnant's favor. I am really excited though. I have always wanted to be a dad. I am pretty excited.

Here is what surprises and somewhat annoys me about my wife: she is like crazy in tune with her body. She didn't feel good a week ago Saturday so she decided to take a pregnancy test. Affirmative. Preggos. She was even right on target to how far along she was. I asked her what in the wide world of sports made her think to take a pregnancy test in the first place? She said her body didn't feel right. Didn't feel right. Last weekend, while she was hooping it up in OKC with all her friends and family, I was stranded in the Spa City all alone. One night, I slept on the remote to the ceiling fan (yes our fan has a remote...shut it David). And a book (sudoku is pretty addictive) and a pen. And my phone. I woke up the next morning on all of those items.

My wife blinks funny, she knows she is preggos. I sleep on a bed of remotes and books and phones. Nothing. Sometimes I find scrapes and scabs that I never knew I had. I worry that I have that disease which doesn't allow you to feel pain. However, if I can pass that onto my son or daughter, we could possibly start breeding a type of super baby. Well, I digress.

Did you know it costs like 200 bucks to have a baby boy circumcised? When we get to heaven, Abraham better reimburse me. Poor Abraham. Noah gets a rainbow.

So, remember us as we live our pregnant lives. Since Danielle is Dr. Bombay, we are looking at like eight whole months of her being great with child. It will seem like a looooong pregnancy. We also know it is early but I am already figuring out a name. If it is a girl: Eleanor Rigby. If it is a boy: Ringo Elway. Nice, right?

My wife is awesome. She will be a great momma. I hope I can be a good pops.

One final thing: When I told my mom she would be a grandma for the sixth time, she simply replied, "Already?" She sounded genuinely annoyed. Thanks mom. Sometimes, she loves too much.

Challenge Brings out the Best in my iPod.

2008-06-26T07:04:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of music on my ipod. When I was single, all I really spent my money on was music, DVDs and food. I don't eat as much anymore now that I am married. I don't watch DVDs much because we have cable now and I spend more time with my wife watching whatever she decides to DVR that night. But I still listen to my ipod. A lot.

So, some of the students like to surf through the ipod to see what music is on there. It is a 30 gig and is basically full with over 6000 songs. But these students love to find music that I don't have. And then when they see that I don't have the new Flyleaf or Dave Matthews or whoever they absolutely let me have it. Apparently even with over 6000 songs I am lacking so much. My music collection is pathetic in their eyes. It is an old man's collection.

So in a conversation we had lately, I was challenged to find 20 old songs that every music collection should have to make it a complete collection. It had to be represented with most of the big acts of all time with a few wild cards. So, I set off on my task. In each case I didn't choose the biggest hit someone had. I chose my favorite song. Here is what I came up with:

Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley
Move It On Over - Hank Williams
Get Rhythm - Johnny Cash
(Night Time) Is the Right Time - Ray Charles
Runaway - Del Shannon
I Saw Her Standing There - The Beatles
House of the Rising Sun - The Animals
Can't You See That She's Mine - Dave Clark 5
It's Only Rock'n'Roll - The Rolling Stones
Won't Get Fooled Again - The Who
Marcella - The Beach Boys
More Than a Feeling - Boston
Crazy Little Thing Called Love - Queen
Ain't Talkin' 'bout Love - Van Halen
London Calling - The Clash
Seventeen - The Sex Pistols
Summer of '69 - Bryan Adams
When Love Comes to Town - U2 and BB King
I Love Rock'n'Roll - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts
Pop Singer - John Mellencamp

Honorable Mention: Cecilia by Simon and Garfunkel, Glory Days by Bruce Sprinsteen, Am I Wrong by Keb Mo, Mannish Boy by Muddy Waters, Bama Lama Bama Loo by Little Richard, Lola by The Kinks, Mountain Dew by Grandpa Jones, Sixteen Tons by Tennessee Ernie Ford and Red, Red Wine by UB40.

I know you don't care. But there you go.

The Obligatory Father's Day Post

2008-06-14T20:28:00.000-07:00

April 19th. Just before 2PM. It is time for the groom, groomsmen and the marrying minister to assume their places behind the door. The music cue is getting ready to start. Honorary bridesmaids, of which there are multitudes, are getting ready to take their spot. The singer is warming up. One of the nieces of the groom has read the first set of verses in scripture. The ushers are escorting grandmothers and mothers.

The groom and his older brother (not the oldest, who is trailing because he felt the need to find some water) make their way down the long hallway. The following exchange takes place:

Groom's Brother - "Well, are you ready, big boy?"
Groom - "Absolutely."
Groom's Brother - "Not nervous?"
Groom - "Not at all."

A slight pause. Some emotion, a touch of the melancholy, creeps into the groom. He looks at his brother and chokes out, "I wish dad was here."

The groom's brother gives a knowing look of shared sadness. "I know. Me too."

And that's that. With those nine words, everything that needed to be said about the father who was present in photo only and represented by a candle, was said. Both the groom and the brother had hours worth of discussion with those simple nine words.

The groom said, in his five words, so many things. He communicated that it was one of the extreme sadnesses of his life that his bride will never know the father of the groom. Even though the father was not the greatest dad, he wasn't exactly the worst, either. But the groom is convinced his father would have absolutely loved the bride. And though his father could be distant, many times invisible, he had this odd warmth that he would share over dinner or at a movie.

The groom said, in five words, that he had finally had come to a place of peace and contentment with his father. He had said all the ugly things you say to a father when you are convinced he left you and hurt you out of selfish reasons. Then the groom even apologized for most of the words. The father talked about his life, his faith, his background and the family life they had only shared for the first six years. They came to an accord, an understanding. And respect and friendship began to bloom, although it was not a long time before forty years of self abuse caught up to the father. One heart attack, an odd funeral, a punch-in-the-stomach-painful afternoon spent cleaning out the meager house and five years later, his two younger sons shared the moment that he should have been sharing with them himself.

The groom's brother said, in four words, exactly what the groom needed to hear. He offered what limited encouragement he could, considering it was light years beyond his comfort zone. In those four words he was placing a bookend on that awful Sunday afternoon phone call which started with another four much more ominous words; "Are you sitting down?"

The groom's brother said, in four words, what he needed to say. In that look, in registering the same grief with one of the few people who really shared it, he realized that they both carried the weight of that loss. And although the sting has worn off, the reality is that void will be felt for a long time. When a tree has been uprooted suddenly and violently it leaves a void. Eventually other grass and shrubs will fill the void and will look normal, like no tree ever existed there. But the people who knew the tree was there will always see it as empty. That feeling was in those four words.

The groom's brother patted him on the shoulder, an odd but very generous gesture from a person who is certainly not comfortable in another's personal space. The groom couldn't offer a response. Just a nod and a simple, small sigh and returned to walking down the hall. Any more words would betray the coolness he was trying to play off. Just under the surface some real emotion was just ready to come out. And it was only going to be in tears. And that was not the time or place for tears that day. It wasn't the moment. The groom knew that.

The tears would be shared with the bride, although there were a lot of other people in the room. Those other people never knew those were tears of both joy and sadness, of an incredible sense of blessing and loss felt simultaneously. The groom wanted to get a wink, a nod, something from his father as his bride made the entrance everyone wanted to see.

So, as this first father's day approaches the groom types the one blog entry he knew he would type when he was married.

I miss you, pop.

Make Up Your Minds

2008-06-12T07:32:00.000-07:00

These religious right-wing nutjobs drive me crazy.

I just got another spam email warning me against the evils of Obama. Only this was a new slant. Usually, they say that Obama is a closeted Muslim and once elected will slip secret military passwords out to Al Qaeda, the Taliban and Cat Stevens. But today's email was a dandy.

Apparently, according to the book of Revelation, Obama is the anti-christ. Because he is charismatic, in his 40's and will sneak up on us and take us over. Somewhere, Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins are standing up and applauding.

Seriously, you people need to make up your mind. How can Obama be the anti-christ when one of the Clintons was? I thought it was Bill Clinton? He fit the criteria. What about Hillary?

And honestly, people, why do you panic? Do the words "Bradley Effect" mean anything to you?

Time for some of you to google or wikipedia, huh.

Obama is the anti-christ. Sure he is. Don't we know that our government is too screwed up to be able to mobilize for the plans that the anti-christ intends to put in motion? If he comes from anywhere it will be the European Union. Or American Idol.

Great Quote

2008-06-10T20:54:00.000-07:00

Tonight, my lovely bride said the funniest thing so far in our young marriage.

"Being married is like having a slumber party every night!"

Let's see...my slumber party experience is limited, as I have not really been to one since the 80's. But my memory is not THAT foggy. Here is what I remember about slumber parties and how they compare to marriage:

- I don't get much room to sleep. Hmm, eerily similar.
- There is a lot of giggling. We do crack each other up.
- Someone usually has gas and it usually wasn't me. Uh, check.
- I didn't really like to wrestle around much as a kid. Thank God that has changed! Ba-zing!
- Somebody usually snores. And it was usually me. Some things never really change.
- I really enjoyed the first four hours of slumber parties. I absolutely love and cherish every moment of marriage. Even the ones where I am mowing and she is living it up with her new BFF...

So, I never really did the slumber party thing. Unless it was at Mike Gelsthorpe's house. He had a pool. And always had Pepsi in the fridge. But I preferred to stay at home.

Now, I prefer to stay home too. With my wife and dog. So much has changed for the better in my life. Now, I need to get to sleep. The dog doesn't sleep well unless he is forcing me to the very edge of my side of the bed.

New Template

2008-06-08T21:44:00.000-07:00

My wife has encouraged me to change and post.

So I changed.

And now I posted.

Being married is great.

Posting late at night? Not so much...

Creatively Carry Them Part 2: One Idea...

2008-05-19T13:02:00.000-07:00

After posting the entry below, I found one church looking outside the box to reach people.

Although, I do question the wisdom behind this sort of outreach. I bet they crowd the place though. I also look forward to the Thanksgiving Wild Turkey Grab with Rev. Johnnie Walker.

In case you were wondering, yes, this church is in my community. On the same road as my church. Arkansas. The Natural State.

Creatively Carry Them

2008-05-19T08:14:00.000-07:00

Sunday's sermon on Mark 2 (where the four friends lower the paralytic to Christ by tearing the whole in someone else's roof) had me thinking.

Our emphasis was placed on getting others to Jesus. We looked at the four friends. We thought about what it means to actually get others to Jesus. As is my habit, the first day of the week here in the office I like to play Monday morning quarterback, which works out well because it is Monday morning. I like to try to figure out some more practical steps of application.

I get tired of common sense responses to faith. You know what I am talking about. The pastor preaches on being nice and making others feel included in the body. Everyone decides they will say hello to three new people each week and that is as far as it goes. I want to figure out how to program that sermon into our church. If we are having issues making people feel welcome, let's revamp our greeters and welcome system. Let's figure out how to answer questions and help erase confusion about church and the building. Let's actually do something. That is how I think now.

So, Sunday we have a good sermon about the four friends. My thoughts today center around their creativity and the risk they took. What is the modern day equivalent to lowering them through the roof? What really creative and effective approaches can we take to literally lay our lost and hurting friends at the feet of Jesus?

Some of the people either cannot or will not walk to Christ by themselves. So how creative can we get? What programs and events can we purposely and intentionally plan and put into place simply to lay people at the feet of Jesus? Are we willing to sacrifice more time? More energy? More resources? Are we willing to replace existing but maybe less fruitful methods in order to try something outside the box? Am I willing to cut through someone's roof, to take that risk that they may be more upset with my methods and overlook the results or the reason why?

So, some questions I am asking myself today:
- What two or three things can I do in my personal life AND in my ministry which is a modern version of that team creatively carrying their friend to Jesus?
- Whose roof will I be digging through?
- Am I willing to risk their response?
- Am I willing to help repair the roof when it is over?
- Is the risk of trying something totally new and innovative worth it?
- Are the people who need Jesus more important than a program or my concerns?

Any great ideas? Let me know. I am just getting started here.

The Greatest Christian Album of All Time

2008-05-14T08:36:00.001-07:00

Trying to sort through all of the entire 25+ year history of Christian music, it is so hard to shake out the very best album of all time. Basically, Christian music is sort of a sanctified echo of whatever is popular and making money in that wicked old secular market.

So, trying to sort through the entire genre, although it is not that old, to find the very best isn't as difficult as one might think.

Now, I understand that the decent Christian stuff you hear today was built on the shoulders of people like Amy Grant, Larry Norman, Randy Stonehill, Petra, Rez Band, Allies, Bryan Duncan, Steven Curtis Chapman, Michael W. Smith. (I'll take has-been C- Listers for 500, Alex)

Now, I have, admittedly, not listened to as much Christian music from the 80's or even the 00's as others, especially my friend Dave, because I was too busy doing just about ANYthing else possible.

So, my entry into this debate. The greatest CCM album of all time.

Jesus Freak by DC TALK

I would do a track by track listing but there is no need to. It stands on its own. I also don't need to go into detail about the people who played on it. It is that good. One of the few really seminal albums of the 90's. And as much as Dave wants to argue, he knows I am right. But I bet he argues anyway.

My Super Powered Wife

2008-05-13T20:00:00.000-07:00

There are many things I have learned about myself since getting married:
- I am not that handy when it comes to fixing or putting things together. I helped (when I say helped, I mean I watched, screwed a few obligatory screws, sliced the wife's crazy good banana bread) our friend Larry install six fans and four other lights as well as two chandeliers. I was almost as helpful as a sprinkler in the rain.
- Cooking with charcoal is different than gas. I have burned two ears of corn and six hot dogs adjusting to change from gas to charcoal. And someone needs to write those jerks at Kingsford and help them get a realistic definition of the phrase "matchlight"
- I enjoy eating at home.
- I am quickly becoming quite the doggy daddy - although I was not about to grab whatever people food he snuck in tonight while my wife was gagging him like rotten eggs without a hitch. Just nasty.
- Her old towels get used. My old towels get used too. As rags, things to wrap glass in and a safety net in case the dog hurls on the nice bedspread. Awesome.

One more thing I have learned. My wife is has super powers. Besides the fact that she bakes and cooks better than that Italian girl with the really big head on the Food Network (channel 51, thank you cable). My wife can do one thing than I never expected. She has the ability to change pronouns!

Who knew, right? For example...

- She got a gift certificate to a store today as a wedding present. Well, WE got it but they delivered it to her. I told her she should check the store out to see if there is anything she might want to buy. She corrected me. She became "we." See? She can change the pronoun.
- I asked her if she had some more "thank you" cards to write. She handed me an empty stack of cards and envelopes and said, "Yes, we do." See, again, she to we. I am learning so much so soon.

Things my lovely wife has learned.
- Her husband sounds like a rusty steak knife being scraped across tin foil when he sleeps. He blames it on allergies.
- Her husband is having trouble kicking his snooze button habit. When she is not looking, I add another eight minutes onto simple household chores, just to get my fix.
- Her husband takes very, very long poohs. I am what you may call a bathroom reader. It comes from years of seeking solace in the potty. I am the youngest of three boys and one sort of crazy mom. The bathroom was the only door that locked in my house. So, hard habit to break. It is sort of problematic because she can sort of do some incredible whirlwind visit to the pot. Amazing, actually. She poops like a calculator. I poop at about the speed of an abacus.
- Her husband shifts and moves around a lot at night too. In the process of the moving, I have a way of hording all the blankets. I believe the technical term is "blanket hog." I prefer "nocturnal blanket maneuvering."
- She is basically everything I am not - responsible, professional and, well, perfect. I am pretty much the luckiest man I know.

She does burp a little. However, I am quickly learning that about 98% of women are closet belchers. Who knew? Sadly for her, most of my gas sneaks out quietly from the basement instead of the attic. That is another post entirely. Almost one month of marriage and my basic knowledge of the experience can be summed up like this:

My wife is basically a super hero to be married to someone as goofy as me. God's grace is amazing. And so is my bride.

And happy birthday, Ward. We'll always have the corner of the northbound exit onto The Hefner Parkway off of Northwest Expressway.

Scanning Pics

2008-05-08T12:16:00.000-07:00

I am scanning pics for the graduates. It is hard to believe that just five years ago they were all bright eyed seventh graders.

This is the third group that I have seen through all the way from seventh grade through graduation. It is pretty humbling to realize that you have seen that many students through their entire youth experience.

More of the same old advice to youth ministers:
- Stay as long as you can when you get to a church. The longer your tenure in youth ministry in one place, the sweeter the ministry can be because the connections and trust and friendships have a chance to run very deep.

Enjoy college and life graduates. I pray that we have been faithful and right by you.

New Name

2008-05-06T21:30:00.000-07:00

I changed the name of the blog to reflect my new married situation. I went from #1 to #3.

It is totally unfair. He (being Raley the dog) does something that makes her mad, she pops him and then is all kissy and snuggly two minutes later.

I do something that makes her mad, I am up a creek without a poodle. There is no snuggly kissy stuff two minutes later for me.

I get up to pee, I get a cross-examination that would make Denny Crane proud. He gets up and wanders all over and shakes and makes a racket? Nothing.

Life ain't easy in the streets.

You Can't Play a Player

2008-03-20T07:54:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't posted a blog entry in a while. I have been distracted for quite some time.

In The Words of Bono

2008-02-13T19:26:00.000-08:00

It's a beautiful day. Why? Because two years ago I wrote this about Valentine's Day.

"What a day. I called mom. Wished her a happy v-day. Today I am being reminded that somewhere, someway, somehow I will meet "the one."

But today something strange happened. Many of my married friends are rushing around trying to find some last minute V-Day present. You know, that little something that means and says so much to someone who means the world to them. And they have an hour lunch break to find it. At Wal Mart. Then I tell them that I called my mom and that phone call in itself satisfied all of my V-Day obligations. And the jealousy they had towards me was palpable.

What a lovely echo of God's grace. On a day that has been a sore spot for singleness in the past, God turned the tables on me. Now people envy me on Valentine's Day."

That was February of 2006. Now that it's February of 2008, I have a little different perspective. I have met the one. Danielle is simply the best and greatest person I know. How do I know this? Because nobody makes me feel as warm, loved, and cared for like she does. Nobody makes me as happy as she makes me. And nobody occupies my thoughts more than she does. Another reason I am convinced that there can be nobody better for me: nobody frustrates me like her. That must be love.

I have had girlfriends in the past. None of them challenged me to actually be a better person. None of them nudged me so consistently towards maturity like she does. I certainly didn't need a doormat that I could walk over and lord over for the rest of my life. God knew exactly what I needed.

When I proposed to her, she was so transfixed on the ring and its shiny-ness, that she probably missed what I said to her. Plus she MAY have been overwhelmed by the moment. For you and for her, here is what I said:
"Danielle, I never thought God would grant me the grace to love someone more than I love myself. But he has given me you. I love you with all of my heart."

It was true on November 9th. It is still true on Valentine's Day, February 14, 2008. And it will be true until Moses is my small group leader. I always prayed that God would overlook my failings and sort of blindly bless me in this department. He has. I am and will always be truly grateful.

Now if we could just stop having every conversation dovetail into baby names...

Honey Do This and Jehovah's Witnesses

2008-02-04T09:44:00.000-08:00

I had the extreme fortune to share my house with my future in-laws, future wife and future pet. That meant I got to freeze my hoo-ha off on an air mattress while my bride-to-be and her mom shared my big, comfy, warm king sized dreamworld. And her dad was in another room on an apparently warmer air mattress (note to self: next time, her dad gets the mattress I was on).

We ran some errands, painted a lot, cleaned a little and enjoyed each other's company. Except at night. I would try to sleep and Danielle and her mom would come in and lay on my bed and talk and bother me, keeping me from the fitful slumber necessary for me to function. How rude! And then she would just look at me while I slept, all creepy like, from outside the room!

And then, on Saturday, I got the knock on the door. I knew exactly who it was. An elderly couple, dressed to the nines on Saturday afternoon with magazines in hand. As soon as I noticed it was an elderly couple, I knew it was a pair of JW's right there on my front porch! The Mormons are usually young and male. And they have to prop their bikes against my mailbox. So I knew it wasn't them.

No, these were real life JWs. I hardly ever get to see them. I have moved a few times in Hot Springs, each time getting one, single, solitary visit from them. They never make a return. I don't know if it is because they feel my 'hood has been covered or if I am on some secret JW "Don't Knock Twice" list. I would like to think that I am!

Basically, they opened their conversation asking me about crime in the neighborhood. Having just moved there, I wasn't really aware. I do feel safe. They seemed stunned. Apparently, there are some chocolate chips in the neighborhood cookie dough which MUST mean crime is rampant and everything is going down the dumper.

They asked me about what I would do if crime actually effected me. I was waiting and waiting for THAT moment! You see, if you wait long enough, most JWs get around to the prophecy of Psalm 31 (some psalm in the 30's) and how the Bible prophesied all the crime and trouble in the world. And they have the answer to make all of yourproblems go away. We then talked about what maybe David might have been writing in that Psalm, and the possibility he might have been upset at his enemies and asking God to punish them and exalt him.

We also talked about Jesus promising us trouble in John 16:33. And Paul encouraging us to pray all the time and the peace of God that transcends all understanding in Philippians 4:7 guarding us and sustaining us if something bad were to happen. Then we talked about James telling us that trouble brings joy because it sharpens us and gives us hope. Hope in God doesn't fail.

Then I asked them what would we need Jesus for if everything was perfect, spotless and sinless? If everything was exactly like we wanted it to be, why would we need Jesus? We need Jesus because of our fallen world, our brokenness. We need the peace, purity and forgiveness to contrast the turmoil, filth and pain. They left shortly after our convo, leaving me their great mags. They probly had to hurry back and add my home to the "Don't Knock Twice" list.

I should have let that menacing four pound yorkie attack.

Wackos

2008-01-15T07:28:00.000-08:00

Over the holidays I was able to meet and talk to some real wackos. Two stick out.

Wacko #1: Met him a few weeks ago here in Hot Springs. He came rolling into church right after the second service one Sunday. I had just finished helping put away the chairs when someone came looking for a staff member. This happens more often than not. Some wacko comes in off of the street and just wanders around asking for money.
Well, this guy was not looking for a handout. No, instead he was looking for something TO hand out. He was asking for tracts. Evangelism tracts. I was sort of trying to find them when another minister who knew where they actually were found them. But not before Wacko #1 berated me for not knowing where the tracks were.
"What would have happened if a lost person walked in here and wanted to meet Jesus? What would you have done?" questioned the wacko.
"Well, I suppose I would have used my Bible and my brain," replied the youth minister who was now running fifteen minutes late for lunch.
"So, you wouldn't need a tract to save souls?" inquired the interesting evangelist.
"Well, I would start with John 3:16 and then go to Romans 3:23, 6:23, 5:8, 10:9-10 and then 2 Corinthians 5:17 and then 1 John 1:9. I think that would be sufficient," replied the poor, cynical youth minister.
"Well, I am a soul winner. I pass out hundreds of tracts each week!" stated the evangelical Johnny Appleseed.
"Wow! That's impressive. Well, here are some more tracts! Go get 'em!" encouraged the youth minister.

Then he walked out and handed out tracts to people leaving the church. He handed tracts to one of our deacons who helps lead FCA at a local school and teaches 11th grade boys Sunday School. He passed out a tract to one of the former ministers in our church who will actually be filling the pulpit in March while our pastor is out. He never said a word. Just walked up and gave them all the tracts. So, this evangelist walked in, grabbed out tracts then witnessed to our own people.
I am always wary a bit of people who claim to be "soul winners." I understand what they are saying. They feel compelled to share Christ. And they are more about quantity of witness experience then the quality of the witness experience. They are sort of a spiritual hurricane who blow through and leave behind a path of confusion that, if not tended to by a loving shepherd or welcoming church body, could leave people further from the truth of Christ.

Wacko #2: I was doing a solid for my beloved fiancee. Her sewage backed up in the backyard in December. Even I'll admit it was sorta nasty. My beloved called her mom who called a plumber to come and check it out. But the plumber was coming while my beloved was working. So I waited for him to come. He showed up about the time he said he would. It looked like he just woke up and rolled over, dressed in sweats and flannel and drove to the house. He looked like twenty miles of bad road. The best thing about it was the name of the company he worked for: Pooter Rooter. So many jokes could be made here. I will let you provide your own.
So, George had me turn on anything that was faucet-like. The bathtub. The sinks. The washer was filled and emptied. I also flushed the toilet for about twenty minutes straight. Eventually he ran a line and figured that somewhere near the tree in her backyard the roots were sort of stifling the flow. He came inside because it was freezing so I could finish writing the check. Then I had maybe the most interesting conversation I have ever had with a plumber.
"Yeah, you just gotta flush the s**t out of the toilet to clear the the f*****g line," said Pooter Rooter's George.
"Sure you do. Sure you do. Makes sense..." mumbled the youth minister.
"This is a nice looking family," noticed George, looking at a picture of my brother, his wife and their two young teenage daughters that was on the table. "Those girls are pretty. How old are they?"
"They are, like, young teenagers," replied the newly cautious youth minister and somewhat protective uncle.
"Do they go to that Crossings Church?" inquired the somewhat skeevy plumber.
"Uhm, no. They go to some other church, like some Episcopal or Catholic church," answered the concerned and discerning youth minister, who now remembers his own future bride goes to Crossings. I also made a mental note to remind my future bride to start going to church with her parents until she moves to Hot Springs. This dude has seen a picture of her too. I barely trust this guy to sit the right way on a toilet seat, let alone be in the same building with my woman.
"Yeah, I go to that Crossings Church," he informed me. "I used to go to that big church over on 23rd. But they didn't want to hear about what Jesus told me when I saw him in 1990."
There was a pregnant pause here. I was doing the mental math. Working in the church has taught me one thing about the crazies: they all have a story. And you are better off listening to the story. For two reasons: 1) they are ALWAYS more entertaining than 98% of most movie plots and better entertainment than television in general and 2) if the crazy guy thinks you think little of him, he will get mad. If he gets crazy mad, you never know what could happen. Plus this guy has just been outside in the cold working with poo. I was not about to tick him off. I just wanted the condensed, Readers Digest version of his story. Finally, I asked him the $64,000 question.
"You saw Jesus?"
"Oh, he** yeah. I have visions all the time. I had one this morning. I saw my own death this morning. But in 1990 I was almost electrocuted and was vacationing on my farm in California when Jesus appeared to me and asked me three questions."
Deciding to overlook the whole farm subplot, dismissing it as a rabbit I don't want to chase, I am actually really interested in the questions and in Jesus.
"So, you saw Jesus in person?" I asked.
"Yep. In person. Not a voice. In person, in the flesh."
"What was Jesus wearing?" I asked.
"A brown robe," he answered. "I don't really remember the rest."
"Of course. Why would you? It was almost 20 years ago. I should have known a brown robe anyway," I responded. "What did he ask you? What were the three questions?" I was very curious. What if this guy had really seen Jesus? What questions would Jesus ask?
"The first question he asked me what I would do to follow him. I responded that I would do anything to follow him. The second question he asked me, well, he sort of laid out a list of things I really like, asking me to give them up. I don't remember the third question."
You know, if Jesus asked me three questions, I bet I could remember them. I mean, if Jesus asked like fifteen, I can understand. But how do you forget the third one? I pursued his answers. I am a glutton.
"What did you say to Jesus?" I asked.
"Well, I could give up everything except the ____________ (here he used an incredibly offensive slur for a woman - including some sort of hand motions that were just flat out creepy and borderline illegal in most states I think). You know how we men are," he responded.
I asked the next question while sending a text to my future bride under the table where he couldn't see.
"Have you ever seen Jesus again since the questionnaire?" I asked. I also sent the message to her. She was about to come home anytime. I was trying to catch her before she showed up. The text message: "Don't come home until I call you. Just wait and I will explain."
"Oh yeah," he answered. "I saw Jesus again in 1998. This time he showed me heaven. He took me to a golden river and there I asked him for the power to heal people. He said he couldn't have it because I wasn't good enough."
I turned the phone on quiet, since my obedient bride-to-be heeded my warnings and only texted me about fourteen times in the next two minutes. Which is actually less then usual, so I was proud of her restraint. Eventually he left. He gave me some more tips about flushing and such. I was basically shoving him out the back door so he couldn't see pictures of Danielle and her friends that cover so many walls. They owe me. Although, I thought about showing him a picture of her friend Amanda just because I am a turd. As he loaded up, he left me with one more nugget of wisdom.
"May the Flush be with you," he said. He winked at me and drove off. I called Danielle and explained. Then I called her mom. Her mom never really grasped the level of unbelievable creepiness I experienced. Needless to say, if you live in the OKC area, pass on Pooter Rooter. How in the world did my ultra-conservative future mother-in-law find Pooter Rooter? The world may never know.

Long Overdue...

2008-01-15T07:17:00.000-08:00

So, apparently I need to update. My wonderful fiancee (that is when you refer to a woman - when you refer to a man about to get married it is spelled with one "e") has encouraged me (i.e. threaten me continuously with what she calls a "big ole can of beatdown") to post something. Anything. A recipe. A letter to Jesus. Anything.

So, here I go. Things have been CRAZY busy. Between preparing for my impending nuptials, moving into my house, visiting family and future in-laws over the holidays and still doing my job I have been quite lax here in the blogosphere. I read a lot. I even comment a little. But mostly I am using all of my thinking, writing and creativity towards lessons and big events. I haven't had much of anything to give to the old blog. I am sorry. Especially to the blog. It deserves more. I feel like an absentee dad. The blog just wants to spend some quality time with me. Tossing the ball around in the backyard. Building a model airplane. Playing guitar together. Riding four wheelers. You know, typical author/blog stuff. I didn't realize how bad it was until I caught the blog huffing spray paint out of a paper sack behind the shed. Then I got the notice in the mail that my blog had been working with The Blogs and Girls Club here locally just trying to find a mentor. I feel like I have let the blog down. We got the blog into rehab and I have been helping it with its homework. Blog really hates history so I have my work cut out for me.

So while I spend some more time with Blog, you remember us as we try to bring him back to what he once was.

Steve's New Christmas Song

2007-12-21T15:44:00.000-08:00

When the Romans ruled in Israel
A savior child was born
Would he lead the zealots and sound the battle horn?

But not a general or a warlord
or a president was he
He taught "in a transformation is the key"

Christmas came out of a war.
Christmas was born into hostile occupation.
So maybe come goodwill can come from me and you.

We know Jesus was born in a manger,
that's what the stories say.
And today we live in castles while we pray.
Maybe celebrating Christmas can still keep us occupied.
But the Romans haven't left us, they're still inside.

Christmas came out of a war.
Christmas was born into hostile occupation.
So maybe some goodwill can come from me and you.

Christmas is coming again.
Christmas is coming again.
Christmas is coming again.
Christmas is coming again.

Words and Music by Steven Stark (I went to high school and church with him when we were kids. His myspace page actually has this song - I really like it)

Christmas Music

2007-12-06T08:13:00.000-08:00

I have posted about this in the past. Then it was a list of my favorite Christmas songs. I really do like Christmas music.

Some holidays gems you should search out:
- Harry Connick Jr's Harry for the Holidays - this is not just his best Christmas album, it is perhaps his best album period. The first blast of those Orleans horns on Frosty...
- Any Christmas music by the Beach Boys. I try and try and try but I simply cannot get away from the Wilson brothers, Tubesock, Al and Mike the music hijacker. My new BB fave? The Man with all the Toys
- James Taylor's great Christmas album James Taylor at Christmas. So so good. But as it is with all JT's music, do not operate heavy equipment while listening.
- Anything by Bing Crosby. I think the Binger is THE perfect Christmas voice. My current Bing fave? Marshmallow World.
- Check out Phil Spector's A Christmas Gift For You from Phil Spector. I think this could be the best collection of R&B classics for Christmas. And you cannot go wrong with The Crystals. Their version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town is worth the whole album.
- Trans-Siberian Orchestra's Christmas Eve and Other Stories is so good. Just to get ahold of Christmas/Sarajevo 12/24 is worth it. And if you can see them live at Christmas, go do it. They are a GREAT concert.

Anything I left off?

Bad Guys #4: Jonah

2007-12-06T07:52:00.000-08:00

We all suffer from Jonah Syndrome. God has put people in our path, placed their names on our hearts and we have decided not to do anything about it.

Jonah had a legitimate beef with God over sharing the message of repentance to the Assyrians at Nineveh. Nineveh was a successful city of almost 150,000. It was a key stopping point on the trade route from the Indian Ocean to the Mediterranean Sea. And the Assyrians were some bad people. They would decorate the roads leading into their major cities with the heads of the conquered people on large lances. Sort of a reminder of why they were great. Some of those heads belonged to Jonah's people.

But God called him to share this message of repentance. And you know the rest of the story. He ran away. God got his attention. Jonah ultimately obeyed. Nineveh repented. Jonah got ticked. And the account ends before the story does. We have no idea whether Jonah died in the desert pouting or not.

We all suffer from the Jonah complex. We simply don't share God's message. And I can think of three reasons that we don't share:
1. We don't want their lives to change. This is how Jonah felt. His anger and sense of vengeance limited his view of God's grace. We can be like that. We don't want our Jeffery Dahmers or our Timothy McVeighs making those prison conversions. We certainly don't want to hear how Manuel Noriega has become a Christian. They are bad men. They deserve the judgment they are under.
2. We don't care if their lives change. We are not concerned enough to share. We just don't care. This is the root of all the popular excuses I make about evangelism. I am scared or I am not confident or I just didn't get the chance...all of those stem from just not caring enough. If I truly cared about my friend's eternity, I would get past my fears and doubts and share. But ultimately, I just don't care enough.
3. I don't desire intimacy with God. Maybe the root has nothing to do with other people and I how I feel about them. Maybe it has to do with my connection with my Heavenly Father. If I don't really desire closeness with Him, why would I share about God's grace and love and forgiveness to others?

But the good news is even though the account of my life may end, the story goes on. I am not in high school any more. I cannot go back and share with all of the people God placed on my heart. The account of my college years is over and I cannot go back there and change how I lived. But my story is not over. I can make changes today. And I can overcome my Jonah Syndrome because of Jesus Christ, the true and perfect Jonah. He too had issues with delivering God's message of repentance but instead of fleeing, Jesus Christ was obedient to die on the cross. And because of that, I can get past my hang ups and share.

So, what do you do when God puts someone that you don't like in your path? How do you respond? Does the "J" on your bracelet stand for Jonah or Jesus?

A Slight Adjustment

2007-12-03T09:33:00.000-08:00

After dealing with people in churches for a few years now, I have decided that as a whole, Christians should be less demanding and more grateful.

And the phrases "Thank you" and "I'm sorry" should probably make a resurgence in popularity.

Bad Guys #3: Cain

2007-11-29T08:54:00.000-08:00

Genesis 4:1-16 brings us the account of Cain and Abel, the first sons born to Adam and Eve. Cain, the older son, worked the fields while his younger brother Abel tended the animals.

They both brought a sacrifice or an offering to God. Cain's was some of the fruit of his crop and Abel brought the choice fat pieces from the first of the flock. God looked with favor on Abel's and not so with Cain. Cain got ticked off and pouted. God told him to straighten up and fly right. He then warned Cain that sin was crouching, that sin desired to have him. And God was right.

Cain lured Abel out to the field, attacked him and killed him. Then God found Cain and asked him what he did and where his brother Abel was. Cain remarked that he wasn't his brother's keeper. God said Abel's blood called out to him from the ground and that Cain would be banished from the land and his life wouldn't ever be the same. Cain freaked out in despair and said he would be separated from God and that the land wouldn't support him and that he would just be a wandering good-for-nothing and was mostly worried about someone seeking revenge for Abel upon Cain.

To calm those fears God marked Cain and said nobody would kill him.

This isn't a story about how to please God. It isn't about what makes our offerings pleasing to God. The Bible remains silent on why God chose Abel's offering to bless instead of Cain.

This IS a story about how God communicates to us about our sin. It is a story about our likelihood to sin. It is about how we all carry that dark, secret mark of Cain and how we are all capable of horrible ugliness in God's sight.

Don't ignore God's warning about sin. God provides us with some simple truths: sin is always just beyond us, waiting. In this story sin almost becomes a fourth character. It lurks. It crouches. It desires. It is just there, always. And God simply calls us to do what's right. But Cain ignored God's warning. He lured Abel out and killed him.

Then he had to answer God's questions afterwards about the sin. We'll all have to do the same. Sure, we may not hear the actual voice of God. But in our soul, in our spirit we will have to answer those questions. Where are you? What have you done? What has your sin done to others? When I see God ask Cain questions that he obviously has the answers to, I am reminded about the distance that Cain has allowed to come between him and God. There is no communion. God has to reconnect with Cain. And he asks those questions to point out that Cain was out on his own, away from God.

Where are you? When you commit that same sin over and over and over, where are you? Are you constantly in front of the computer screen? Are you in compromising places? Where are you when you find yourself stumbling?

What has your sin done to those close to you? Contrary to what we may think, our sin effects others. Even if we don't sin against other people, we still sin against God. And if that relationship is out of whack, no other relationship we have can be right.

What have you done? Stop justifying or even denying your sin. Admit it. And apologize for it. And not that horse-crap apology that starts with these three words: "I'm sorry if..."
"I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings." What a crock. If that is how you apologize, save the apology because you don't mean it. You are just disguising commentary that says "You seem to have thin skin and I wasn't intending to hurt you with my words and since the words did hurt you, it MUST be your problem and not mine." If I say something that hurts my brother's feelings, there is no IF about it. His feelings are hurt. I have to apologize for it. I can say "I never meant to hurt you. I am sorry." That works. But we have this attitude that we really don't ever do anything wrong. If someone has a problem, it has to be their fault. And that attitude prevails with our relationship with God. We justify or explain or even deny our sin. Be honest. What have you done? Answer that honestly. Own it. Accept it.

And because there was distance between Cain and God, Cain sinned and killed Abel. Cain wouldn't master the jealousy and anger that was rotting his insides to nothing. And in that dark, premeditated moment, he killed his own little brother. And God lays out the punishment. Cain complains but that doesn't change the fact that there are consequences about his sin. Same with us. Our sin carries a price. We must face, at the very least, the spiritual distance from God. And there can be other consequences too. Relationships can be hurt. Ended. Destroyed beyond repair. But remember this, God provides for sinners. He provided the mark of Cain to sort of remind him of the worst act of his life and also to protect him from death. And Cain carried that mark around forever. Always reminded of what he did to Abel. Always shouldering the memory. I don't know if he was guilty. I don't know how Cain had to deal with that thought of taking Abel's life with his own hands. But I know that some of us are walking around carrying that secret mark of sin. We carry an image or a memory of a moment in time where we absolutely blew it. And even though we turn the guilt over to God and humbly accept the punishment or the consequences our sin merits, we will cannot shake the memory. And sometimes that memory leads us back down the same dark path to that same place again and again and again.

God provides protection and has even made a new covenant with us that Cain was never able to appreciate and experience. God provided a mark to sort of protect Cain's life because of his sin. God provided Jesus for us, not to merely protect us but to save us, to deliver us from our sin. On the cross Jesus took care of our sin problem. Even in the midst of our sin, God communicates his love to us.

Sometimes the hardest person to live with is yourself. The guilt can be such a poison. The anger and the jealousy can destroy you. God wants to deal with that. He is communicating to you and me right now, asking us those age old questions. Where are you? What have you done? What has your sin done to others? Only with Jesus and the cross, we have peace that when we answer those questions honestly, God is faithful to forgive and cleanse us from all of our sin.

Judges 2:10

2007-11-15T12:50:00.000-08:00

Judges 2:10 "After that whole generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation grew up, who knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel."

After Joshua and Caleb and that generation died, their faith apparently died with them. This generation knew of the Exodus. They knew about the Red Sea, the Big 10, the manna, the water from a rock, the plagues, the fire by night and the cloud by day. They saw firsthand how God brought them across the Jordan. They were there for Jericho. They saw the sun stand still. They saw God defeat an army by raining hail down on them. They saw God deal with Achan at Ai and they saw God deliver this land to their hands. They were there when they renewed the covenant with God. And they kept this all a secret. They never told their kids who God was and what he had done for them.

That generation that followed would go on to do evil in the eyes of God (2:11). Not just your ordinary sin. No, they did evil. There was no compass to guide their morality without God. No standards for living.

They served the Baals (2:11). People will serve and worship something. Even those people who don't believe in a god at all. They will serve some agenda. They will worship something, whether it is political, social or personal. Money, spouses, relationships, materialism, success, power, influence, ego...people will find something to worship.

The next generation had limited options. Without knowledge of God, they could only worship the gods of the people around them. The Baals, the Ashtoreths. And since God is pretty clear about how he feels about idolatry, he acted in anger and allowed them to be stuck in this cycle of conquest, struggle and pain that required judges to deliver them.

How could they not tell their friends and children and grandchildren about who God was or what he had done?

How can we not tell our friends and children and grandchildren about who God is to us or what he has done for us? Are we not confident? Not comfortable? Not consistent? Not competent? Do we want to afford our children the freedom to discover God for themselves? How did that work back in Judges?

How can we NOT tell them? Does God just not matter to us? Do we just not care about who God is and what he has done for us?

God dealt with the people out of his anger and provided judges like Gideon and Samson to deliver them.

God deals with us out of his love and provided Jesus Christ to deliver us. This isn't cyclical either. Once and for all we can be freed from the sin that so easily ties us up.

So tell your friends and family about who God is and what he has done for you. The gospel is not lived. It is shared. Jesus didn't just live a good life. He spoke about God and who God was and what God had done for them.

So tell your kids and friends about your favorite verse and when and why it became the tops for you. Let them know what your favorite spiritual song or hymn is and why it is your fave. Tell them how you met Jesus and made him the Lord and Savior of your life. Talk about God's blessing and how you met your spouse and the birth of your kids and what God has taught you through your relationships.

Tell your kids and friends about your most important God moments - when he took the pain and hurt and disappointment and the confusion and loneliness that makes life ugly and merely through his love and presence made your life beautiful again.

Tell your kids and friends about the significant places where you felt God so closely and clearly and powerfully.

Do not let your faith die with you. Share it. Tell your children and your family and your friends who God is and what he has done for you.

Bad Guys #2: Lot

2007-11-15T12:23:00.000-08:00

Have you ever been at a point where you found yourself asking, "How did I get here???"

Events spin a little out of control and before you know it you are in a place that is confusing and unfamiliar and painful. And you seem to remember that not too long ago you were in a better place enjoying life and time with the Father. Then after a series of decisions and a numbing to our sin we find ourselves at this foreign place.

That is the life of Lot. Imagine. He is an old man. He wakes up one day to find out both of his motherless daughters are pregnant. But they live in a cave away from people. The girls have never left him. And no men have appeared. And there was no sign of immaculate conception. No, there are two girls pregnant and only one available sperm donor. Him. He had to face the music: his daughters knew him intimately while he was drunk. He has been deceived. His daughters have violated his trust. They have broken family values and traditions. And somewhere in the fog of his life, he knows that they have done something ugly in the sight of God. But how can he hold that against them? How hypocritical can one old man be?
How did he get here?

Well, he lived in the cave because he wouldn't live in the city of Zoar. He had lived in a city before and the sin and corruption of others cost him so much. Cost him embarrassment. Cost him family. Cost him dearly. So as he fled for his life, he would wander up into the mountains and live in a cave away from the sin and stain and influence of others. He would grab those closest to him and with the strength and will in him, he would protect them for once. He would keep them from what had corrupted their lives. They would get past it in time. God would restore them. He would do his level best to start over away from those poor influences.
How did he get here, running for his life, clinging to what was left of his family?

God was raining sulfur on those godless, vile cities. He knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn't have been there. And now God had given him a second chance. For whatever reason, God saw fit to spare him and his wife and daughters. So, even amid the hesitation the angels led them by hand outside the city. It was hard to leave. That was his life. Right or wrong, and mostly wrong, that was his life. He knew there was so much that tainted him and his family. So many voices and actions right outside the front door that was just vile. He knew that. He was wrong. He was sorry. But when the moment to leave came, he hesitated. God forgive him, he was comfortable in that life. That sin that he knew was so wrong was so hard to leave behind. In fact the only reason he left was because he knew death was certain for those who stayed. And even then the angels literally had to grab him by the hand and lead him away to safety. When sin climbs on you and wraps you up within it, it is easier and less painful to just stay in it, right? Maybe not. As they ran and fled for something new, that great fresh breath of a second chance, she looked back. Weren't they told not to? Leave, go and don't look back at that place of sin. But total obedience is hard to find again after wandering so far away from it. Besides, how could he blame her. He had his own pillar of salt moment back in the town. But they had gotten past that and were about to make it anew. And then she looked back.
How did he get here, lost without his wife and stuff?

The angels came to Sodom and Gomorrah. They were warning Lot. The city is vile, they kept telling him. Rotten. God is going to destroy it. And just before he went about defending his city, or more accurately his decision to live in it, the door rattled with that knock. Those heathen wanted to "know" these angels. How do I tell them no? How do I still maintain my good name in the city? People know Lot. They know I am not really one of them. They know I have a lot of possessions and land and influence. How can I deny them their sin with these men or angels or whatever they are but still make sure they like me? How do I choose between my God and my sin? He would compromise and offer up the relationships that matter the most: his daughters. They had never been with a man before. He would offer up their purity and their innocence. Protecting our sin, maintaining those lives defined by it, will cost us those relationships that matter the most to us. His daughters would remember that night when he offered their bodies to the raving pack of sin.
How did he get here, forced to reconcile the sin with God?

He had too much stuff. Abram had even more. His people were fighting with Abram. And instead of deal with all of that, Abram suggested taking some land and separating. Abram had done a lot for him. He couldn't ask for a better uncle. And now Lot could choose any place to live. He saw that valley and it was amazing. Beautiful. Sure it was close to those cities and the sin. But he would not live there. He would just move near it. He would pitch his tents near Sodom. But he would never live there.

And that is how he ended up in that cave facing the tragedy of his life. He chose to step near that life of temptation and compromise and sin. He could have gone anywhere. But that place looked so appealing.

And even in the midst of that sin, God sent those angels to deliver him from the death that sin merited.

Even in the midst of my sin, God sent Jesus to deliver me from the sin and consequences my sin merited. Lot saw his life spiral away from him simply by starting that string of decisions that lead to compromise and ultimately to sin and death.

The lesson of Lot is to see that each decision that inches us closer to sin is a decision that costs us the most important relationship we have. It causes distance from God and separates us from him. Fortunately for us, the cross will span that gap. Not just once. Over and over and over. No more sulfur showers. Now God's grace pours and falls on us in the form of Jesus Christ.

When I have my Lot moments, I need to sober up and look back to the cross. Focus on moving to that. Don't look back on the sin you are to leave behind. Don't hesitate. Don't compromise. Don't find yourself asking how you got so far away from God. It is never one big step. Rather, a series of smaller ones. We don't storm away from God most of the time. We wander away bit by bit.

Bad Guys #1: Absalom

2007-11-15T12:06:00.000-08:00

I went to a youth ministry conference and one of the things shared by one of the speakers had to do with making your stuff accessible to everyone. Of course, the speaker who shared this charges for everything he shares. But he said that after you teach, make it available through an article or a blog entry etc.

So, in that vein, I will do that. I will be posting the thoughts that spurred on the various teachings or sermons that I share with my students. And since I know that they are hardly world-changing thoughts, I won't be charging. How could I put a price on it? I got it free too.

I started a series on Wednesdays about guys from scripture with questionable reputation. I heard someone preach on Absalom recently and I really started thinking. So that is where I started in the series.

Basically, all of our rebellion can come from a place that is at the least empathetic and at the most understandable. However, when those seeds of frustration or anger over some injustice go unchecked it can grow and fester into something horrible and evil in us.

Absalom had a legitimate grief. Amnon had raped and ruined his sister, Tamar. She was King David's daughter and even though he was upset, Amnon was never punished by the King's hand. This grew and festered in Absalom. Absalom was the one who had to deal with this broken life each day as Tamar had moved into his house. She was good for nothing and was disgraced from the rape and then being released by Amnon. Two years went by without seeing any sort of justice, any retribution. Amnon never even had so much as a wrist slap. And every day here was Tamar, crying, broken, wasted. Her beauty had faded, being replaced by shame and pain. And it was in Absalom's face every day for two years.

Finally that rebellious root that can be used for good can easily festered into full blown sinful rebellion. Sometimes rebellion can lead to revolution and reformation. Luther's rebellious view of scripture totally changed the way people worship. MLK2's rebellion lead to positive social change. Early American rebellion lead to revolution which affords us incredible freedom. Not all rebellion is wrong. In fact, there is not one person who cannot empathize with how Absalom had to feel about his sister. But there is where it ends.

Of course Absalom's life takes a turn and he kills Amnon, flees for his safety, returns home and ultimately runs David out of the King's palace for a spell. This son of David would divide the kingdom and turn people away from the king. And his rebellion left him alone, unsupported, arrogant and leaving behind no real influence.

But there is good news just under the surface of this story ranging from 2 Samuel 13-18. In 14:14 we see that "...God does not take away life. Instead, he devises ways so that a banished person may not remain estranged from Him." Even in the middle of Absalom's rebellion and sin God's wish was that Absalom be close to him and to his father, David. And to prove that is how God truly feels, He provided Jesus for us today.

Absalom was the son of David who divided people and turned them away from the king.
Jesus is the Son of David who unites people and turns them to the King.

Which son of David are you following today? The one who allows rebellion to divide and hurt or the one who changes rebellion into reformation and changes motives, hearts and lives.

Shocking Maps

2007-11-01T08:39:00.000-07:00

Yeah, so I totally ripped this off of another site who ripped it off from another site. There is truly nothing new under the sun. I also ripped that sentence off from another site. Hope I am not haunted by those old "dancing skeletons."

I saw these maps and they stunned me. When you look at these maps, you'll see maps of the world with nations adjusted by size to show the world by population, then the world by AIDS virus, then the world by access to physician. They speak for themselves.

Time to pray that the places that need medical help will get it.

The Next P.T. Barnum

2007-10-31T11:09:00.000-07:00

I could be the next great promotional guru. Here is my latest publicity idea for our church here in Hot Springs AR.

Since today is Halloween many churches in town are having the traditional Halloween alternative. What that means is that children can come here for an hour or two before they go trick-or-treating around their neighborhoods. I am not naive enough to think that this is the only place a kid will go for candy. This is the only day in the entire year where a kid can gather a bag full of candy and have the entire activity sponsored and endorsed by their folks. And most everyone pitches in to contribute to the certain tooth decay to follow.

So these churches, around five or six, will provide a place for children and families. And out of the those six, five of them will be having the trunk-or-treat thing. This means that church members have set up games and booths in their cars in the parking lot of the church. Kind of like God's Great Candy Flea Market.

We are the only one NOT doing TOT (the cool POMO way of writing trunk-or-treat out). Since we are having ours in our gym here is my publicity idea.

"Welcome to Heroes Unmasked (the theme of the whole thing - don't ask me I am not in on THOSE decisions) at First Baptist Church. We are the only church in town that actually welcomes your children INSIDE our building!"

Seriously, if my kid wanted to go to one of these places, I would choose the one who prefers to welcome me inside their building into a protected and secure environment. Not the one who wants me to wander around like cattle. I would rather take my chances with my kid in the neighborhood. At least our children's ministry will actually be sharing the gospel with the booth theme ideas. One of them actually does share what Jesus did for us on the cross as our pastor gives a tour of the garden tomb that Jesus left vacant. I may gripe and complain and I may be more cynical than a Christian should be, but this is one night of the year that I firmly believe our church does it right and the others don't. So, next time you take your tot out dressed like Buzz Lightyear or a "dancing skeleton" find the church that will actually point them towards the cross and not the dentist's chair.

The New Mega

2007-10-29T12:02:00.000-07:00

I had a nice weekend in Kansas City. I went there to see Van Halen (with David Lee Roth, thank you very much Dave!!!). While we were driving we thought about the huge paradigm shift from when Paul was starting churches and what we see now.

Could you imagine if Paul had the technology then we have today? He would so totally cut out the middle men and just preach and lead all of his various churches himself. Why would he need Timothy or Titus or Silas or even Barnabas? He wouldn't even need to write. He could just "beam" himself into all the churches. I mean, of course, there would be an on-site pastor there to make sure that the maintenance of the church was taken care of. But the preaching, leading and upfront stuff would be covered by Paul. I am sure he would use Apollos or Simeon of Niger and Aquila and Priscilla to help him by being his sermon crafting team. But he would still be preaching.

And he could just cut out all of that area-specific teaching and guidance. Instead, he could sort of preach through the Time Life Seventeen Tips for a healthy and happy marriage. In fact, he could make church attendance obsolete altogether. The flock could just worship at home online. Why deal with the stress of waking up and going out to church. Hebrews 10 what? Bah, never mind that. Now you can sip coffee in your jammies (which most 20 somethings basically do even in public) and worship God. Man, this could have been so easy for Paul.

No more wasting time on those little petty hindrances that were problems in the Corinthian church. Paul could just preach a generic sermon that may sort of hint at fixing the broken dynamics of church life. I mean, right after the great rock and roll music.

Why stop there with Paul and his technological marvel! We could apply this to other basics of life that would totally change the way we look at the church and Jesus.

Through pagers, phones and text messages shepherds could manage multiple flocks at home. The sheep could simply access their blackberry or their iPhones and let the shepherd lead them via googlemaps to wherever grass was. The shepherd could then work on merchandising and his weblog. What if one of the sheep gets hurt? Well, then the shepherd will just preach a sermon on how Jesus can heal and help. Preventative preaching and discipleship? Why teach that when we can teach mercy, grace and forgiveness.

Sadly we no longer live in the age of the Mega Church. Now we live in the age of the Mega Pastor. Out of all of the churches in the New Testament, we only know for sure of a handful of people who would pastor churches. The rest were churches whose main leader was not as important as just the fact that a church existed. Now churches are defined almost solely by the pastor.

I don't know about you but I do not want my faith to be marginalized to the point where I just blend in with whatever the Mega Pastor says.

And I also think that, despite the good it does for God, there is just too much of a chance to make faith easy. Since when does ease and comfort and convenience have anything to do with being crucified with Christ, carrying my cross and denying myself? I think that these Mega Pastors are certainly good men, even Godly men. I just think you find a slippery slope when you try to separate your ego from your desire to simulcast yourself all over the planet.

They say that more and more are being exposed to the gospel. However, I do not see any real sense of Christ becoming the central key in anything relating to culture. I do not see a resurgence of a Christian world view. I think the easier we make faith in Christ, the more irrelevant we make Christianity. So, if you enjoy the Mega Pastor approach, more power to you. Find Christ however you need to. However, if you are looking for Christ and exploring how Jesus can be hope and life for you, call a small church's pastor and drop by his office. He will be able to see you and help you. He can pray with you in person. The Mega Pastor won't have time for you. He will be preparing to go speak at another Come Be Like The New Mega Pastor conference in Melbourne, Australia. But you can talk to the 24 Hour Prayer line if you need help.

Maybe I am old fashioned. But I am beginning to think that is alright. I mean, if David Lee Roth can get back together with Eddie Van Halen, maybe I can appreciate the simple shepherd. If you make me choose between the simple shepherd and the Mega Pastor, I know who I prefer. And I bet you would choose the same one too. Admit it...

Third Major Religious Holiday

2007-09-26T08:32:00.000-07:00

Today marks the celebration around the United States of our third major religious holiday, See You at the Pole. It has really only been widely celebrated by most denominational Christians the past twenty years or so. But it is a rich holiday whose heritage and history date all the way back to the New Testament.

In the New Testament, it was a celebration along the lines of the Feast of Tabernacles and the Feast of the Heifer. It's roots come from the Pool of Siloam. Apparently, crippled and lame and blind folks would gather at the Pool. They would pray for healing, for health. And then Jesus showed up one day and actually healed them. Of course, they would gather around the only one standing upright, so he was much, much taller than the rest of them (which would eventually lead into people gathering around a pole, sort of resembling how much taller Jesus would have been than the lame men and women at the Pool). From then on, every time someone standing upright would go to the Pool, people would gather around him, thinking he was Jesus. Sound ridiculous? Everyone looks about the same in a brown cloak from the waist down.

Well, people would get excited when they heard about upright people going to the Pool. So they started saying, "Seeist thou at the Pool." This later would become See You at the Pool. It was mainly celebrated in Jerusalem. In 268 AD a man named Horace would mistake a tweaked ankle for being lame. He would one day surprise himself at the Pool when a man simply helped him up, not knowing Horace thought himself lame. Horace swore to follow the man, assuming he was the second coming of Christ. He followed this Roman citizen back to Rome. Horace would continue to celebrate See you at the Pool with his family for years. His great grandson would migrate north into Germany. The holiday as we know it migrated this way from Germany. It is a very popular holiday over there. Surprisingly, it is not that big in Poland. Maybe not too politically correct. Eventually German immigrants would bring their celebration of praying around tall people at pools, touching them and singing praises to them to America. But with the thick Bavarian accent, "Pool" was misunderstood to be "Pole."

In the late 1800's children started praying around the flag poles in town squares, waiting for the Tall Man (otherwise known as St. Kareem) to bring them cheaply made merchandise and boring acoustical music. Eventually the shift was made from town squares to schools in the early 1920's. It was in the 20's that ambitious clothing vendors started selling white shirts with two color fronts and one color backs to silly children. We still celebrate this trend with our overpriced merchandise to this day. But St. Kareem has been replaced by Jesus himself. And tall people at the pool were combined simply into the flag pole.

But See You at the Pole has become a sacred and special holiday, marking the one time in the year when students actually pray for their schools. If they get around to it. In the late 1990's, the prayer was sort of replaced with music and donuts and some holier than thou senior student railing on and on about how bad the school is and how Jesus needs them to shine. And then, proving how obedient Christians set a great example, most of the students are late to their first periods.

We even sing many of the same carols the early German immigrants sing:
The Twelve Days of See You at the Pole - On the first day of See You at the Pole my Jesus gave to me, an alarm clock to wake me up at six - Fifth Day is five Krispy Kremes etc

Joy to the World, the merch is sold. We'll now receive our fee.

We Three Tees of overpriced stock, two colors in front and one on the back...

So, there is a brief history of our third major religious holiday. Hope you enjoy it. And a Merry See You at the Pole to all!

Don't forget to actually pray for the students and faculty you know in schools today. It really is a huge mission field. I may be cynical but I do understand the need. Pray.

Oh The Delicious Irony

2007-09-20T14:31:00.000-07:00

I was reading over at a blog of a friend of a friend (Thursdays at 4:25PM are terribly slow and boring for me, what can I say?). He made mention of the recent trend of people, Christian people, to slam the church.

Apparently, God is great but the church failed them. Now, I understand that point of view. I really do. Many times I have felt like telling someone who doesn't know about the life-saving power of Jesus Christ; "Listen, Jesus is awesome. Church just stinks." But that is not true. There are aspects of church life that are out of touch, antiquated or flat out pointless. And there are some current movements in church that make the message of the bloodied body and the risen Savior too precious. Too cute. Half of these churches must make their living producing those rotten cutesy poopsy email forwards I delete (seriously, are there three more stomach churning letters than fwd?). But the church is still the best, most efficient way to share Christ with a dying world and help change lives for the better.

And people from Todd Agnew (that voice may be the most offensive thing ever played on CCM radio stations - like Bob Dylan and the lead singer from The Crash Test Dummies had a kid) to every post-modern author (Donald Miller etc) couldn't get in line fast enough to tell us what is so wrong with church.

I am not a simpleton. I know the church has problems. It always has. It always will. Because the church is filled with people. Broken and flawed. So, instead of bashing the church, why not rail away at sin or at temptation or at not knowing enough scripture to stand up underneath both?

And if I hear that stinking Todd Agnew song about Jesus not being welcome in my church because his feet were bleeding on the carpet one more time, I am going to shoot someone in the face. Honestly, how ignorant is that song? I appreciate the message: sometimes it is hard to find Jesus in the church. Well, crap, sometimes it is hard to find Jesus in my life too. But to say that Jesus would not be welcome because of his bloody feet is ridiculous. Is Jesus that much of a Bethlehem redneck that he cannot wipe off the blood that Agnew has decided to coat on his feet? Is he such a Nazarene hillbilly that he doesn't have enough sense to clean up? Did he just crawl off of the cross and come into my church all nasty and bleeding? Really? I remember an awful lot of feet washing in the New Testament. And Jesus was doing most of it! How hypocritical of him to come wandering in, all bloody and gross, when he KNOWS how much that new church building cost. And poor Mrs. Bennett. She spent so many hours agonizing over the perfect color of the carpet. Shoot, I saw what she did to Guy Akins and all he did was spill his coffee. Jesus better watch his back! Jesus and his bloody feet...spare me the sermon, Toddles. You're preaching to freaking choir.

Which brings me to the title of this rambling, sprawling and disjointed post. Isn't it ironic that without the broken, terribly cold, unwelcoming, icky church to hear it, people like Todd Agnew and the new guard of nay-saying POMO's (that is hip for Post Modern) would be preaching to...well, nobody. The church made those suckers rich. The church lined their pockets with money so they could stand up and speak out against it. If Todd Agnew felt unwelcome at church, well, maybe that has more to do with his drive-by-shooting of U2's great "When Love Comes to Town" on that horrific U2 tribute album than it does with his dirty feet. And if he has dirty feet, wipe 'em off. We have mats for JUST that purpose.

Folks, don't bite the hand that feeds you. Don't preach about how the church is broken. Help fix the broken one you go to. There will always be something wrong with every church. But pointing it out and then agreeing with everyone else who has a faux-hawk and a soul patch that church sucks isn't doing God, that church or the Kingdom a whole heckuvalotta good.

How many hurdles did that scathing critique of the church place in the way of someone seeking out an answer for the hurt and pain and confusion in life? How can someone who is looking for purpose, a place to belong, be encouraged to find God at church when the people leading those churches are beating it to death instead of leading it out into a hurting and dying world?

Sometimes instead of the squeaky wheel getting fixed, it should just get replaced.

I'm a Lumberjack and I'm Okay

2007-09-11T06:38:00.000-07:00

Aaron posted an interesting article on his blog. I started to comment on it and then realized the comment was becoming too big. So, you should click the link to the left RIGHT NOW and read today's post. Then come back here for my comment, left so inconveniently far away from Aaron's wonderful blog. Go ahead. Check it out. I will wait for you. Go on. SHOO!

Back? Great. Here is my comment on that article about rugged, manly men leaving God behind because apparently Jesus would rather his followers scrapbook and hold hands instead of share the hope of the gospel with a lost and dying world. Who knew?

Ellsworth left off AC Green, Emmitt Smith, Deion Sanders, Michael Irvin (albeit, the last two came to faith either after their playing days or in the later stages). He forgot David Robinson, Avery Johnson, Reggie White and Orel Hershiser.

I agree with his point about women sort of re-imagining how churches look and that basically there is a lack of "manliness" and jocularity because men have basically abdicated it.

But there are still plenty of opportunities to find the more masculine avenues of service. Surely churches need security teams, lawn maintenance, van drivers and even cooks - you know, grillers for the church picnic.

And since when did my faith become influenced by my preferences? I simply cannot approach my God the same way I approach going to view a movie. God is unchanging, the same yesterday and today and forever. I must approach my faith in that same way. I simply cannot allow what music I like or what technology I enjoy or what preaching connects with me to become more important than the object of my worship. Sometime a few years back our worship became more about us than about God. If Jesus was enough, if he was truly my portion that satisfied in times of famine and feast, than it shouldn't matter if there is any really butch ministry for me to plug into. I am called to be a Christ-follower before I am allowed to be a rugged man.

Man, does this shed some light on the selfish way I approach my faith. I hope you are not the same. But I have this sick, queasy feeling you just may be. And that, my young lovelies, is where we stumble into trouble. This Preferred Worship model that churches lean into is limiting our access to God, not broadening or enhancing it, like we may think it is. And that deserves a big old "Yowza!"

In Words of Joseph Smith and in the Spirit of Moses

2007-08-28T22:44:00.000-07:00

You know, Jesus said before you pull the splinter out, remove the log. But it came to pass then that Jesus said once the log is removed, by all means remove the splinter.

How in God's name is leaving someone struggling and stuck with sinful issues or problems true compassion?

You don't love me enough to correct me, to help me? Remove the log. But it will then come to pass that you will be free from similar issues you want to help me with. Then remove the splinter. Remove hypocrisy. I will listen. I am the most humble guy on the planet and I can absolutely accept criticism.

Just Like Starting Over Part Dos

2007-08-27T07:23:00.000-07:00

So today is my official 7th year anniversary as the youth dude at the church I serve at. It also means that I have officially been in full time work serving my Savior for over ten years. That is so crazy. And how did I mark the great seventh anny? How did I show the world that after ten plus years in ministry I am evolving into a great, wise and temperate youth minister?

I had to take down banners and posters and ticky tack off of the walls so the painters from Green Acres could come in and stare at the walls they need to paint. Who knew that ladder positioning and placement was something that had to be determined by committee? Not me. And apparently you can fuss and fidget with a drop cloth and still not get it close to the wall you are painting.

So, after seven years I have come to a couple of conclusions, some simple lessons I have learned as a youth minister:

1) Simplify, simplify, simplify. It is such a weird thing to say but less really is more almost all of the time in youth ministry. We bombard students with images, noises, events - it can truly be sensory overload. I used to cram all I could in a calendar. Now I realize that big events are nice but not how we live. Week to week must receive the lion's share of my focus. And I need to find simple but effective ways to help students walk with Christ.

2) Have a plan. Develop a simply strategy that walks people all the way from life without Christ to becoming active servants, involved in missions and ministry. Not vocational callings mind you. Lives that are obedient to Christ. Too many times in my ministry teenagers become devoted Christians almost by accident. We have no idea really how it happened. Develop your plan, the plan that suits your strengths, your organization, your ministry. It is not Willow Creek's plan. It is not Saddleback's Plan. It is not Life Church's plan. It is the one that works best with your people in your situation in your town. I will write more on this much later on, as I am JUST NOW starting to develop our plan. Seriously, how backwards is that? Seven years later we are scaling back and actually planning our strategy for our specific d-ship plan. At least we are starting now though, right?

3) Missions and relationships seem to make the most impact. Sure, there is the various big event high. But the most life change seems to come from simply developing friendships with people and from actually sticking people in places to minister and serve that is outside of their comfort zones. Camps or weekend retreats are nice. But actually seeing teenagers serve in a soup kitchen or a backyard Bible club or in a dental clinic in South America really pushes them and encourages more spiritual growth than another camp or hoopdedoo weekend.

4) Stop teaching Time Life's How to Fix Your Life in Six Easy Steps and start teaching the Bible. Most people do not have a working knowledge of scripture. While that is not necessarily our fault, we do share some of the blame; we have taken the need of having a Bible at church from their lives. From our big, cool screens to our handouts and message notes we have effectively taken the Bible OUT of the hands of the people we minister to. I only know of ONE GUY whose focus is to simply point people to Christ by unlocking the thread that flows through scripture. And even HE gets criticism for using another book on theology. Leading people deeper in scripture can be intimidating because it means that we have to dig some ourselves. But we are only going to lead people as far as we gone ourselves.

5) Hold firmly to your convictions but don't let them limit the scope of your ministry. What I mean is that I have some things that I believe. I believe them because I know God has taught me those things specifically. The question is can you believe something that is contrary to what I believe? Can I respect what you believe?

F. Scott Fitzgerald said that at 18 our convictions are hills we walk on. At 45 they are caves we hide in. Sometimes, as we get older, the lead-pipe lock we have on our convictions limits the mercy, love and compassion that we need as we look at people who live very different lives from our own. Can we still love, respect or at the very least understand what has informed and influenced their lives to bring them to that point? Or do our convictions simply lead us to discredit them and ultimately hate their lifestyle? Sometimes our rock-solid convictions become our refuge and justification for hate. How ridiculous is that?

6) It actually IS okay to ski once in a while. Who knew? Not every trip needs to be a mission trip. Sometimes the totally pointless trips can be healthy and serve as an open door to the church. You don't want a steady diet of fluff, but the occasional fun trip can actually prove that there is love, joy and liberating fun to be found in Christ. I would assume Jesus laughed a lot more than we do.

7) Ministry is like coaching. Everyone is convinced that they could do your job better than you can. Get used to it. Every mom or dad or grandpa or teenager is an armchair youth minister. And let them think that.

They are not the one who has to change planes mid-trip to come back from Arizona on their way to California to bury the boy who shot himself in the church parking lot. They are not the one who has to talk to the wild child who has just spent 40 days in juvie because he simply has no positive influence in his life, besides the big idiot youth minister. They don't have to sit through another endless staff meeting as the education minister reads you another committee meeting minutes recap that you could read yourself. Except you won't read it because it is mind-numbingly boring. And he knows that. So he reads it to you. They don't have to sit with another homeless person who needs a few bucks to eat (or drink, as is usually the case). They don't sweat and agonize over ANOTHER shirt logo, or ask the secretaries to re-print the handouts because they are not the way you wanted them. No, most people just know enough to minister to their student and maybe another one or two of their friends. And they are supposed to be that way. It's just life. Build a bridge and get over it. If it wasn't for people, ministry would be an easy job.

8) Eat lunch or dinner with at least one kid each week. This will do wonders for you and your ministry.

9) Read. A lot. Everything from fuzzy Lucado to challenging Lewis to inspiring Manning. Read it all.

10) Everything they teach you in school about being in ministry is good information. You probably just won't use it. But don't worry. Just start working. Be faithful. Learn from your mistakes, of which there will be many (the good news is they expect a certain amount of moronic moments from their youth dude). And hold unswervingly to the straight way the Savior is leading you on, lighting your way with the Holy Scriptures and nudging you along by the breath of the Spirit, who lightens the load on those dark nights of the soul when life and ministry seem to be leaning a bit too heavily on you.

Ten Word Answers

2007-08-21T15:04:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite TV shows from the past ten years is The West Wing. I didn't always agree with the politics but I really enjoyed the show. That said, I didn't always disagree with the politics either. But there is one episode in the fourth season where President Bartlett is running for re-election and he comes heavily against the ten word answers to the nation's problems. It is easy to diagnose the problems. But more difficult to come up with a solution, a way of solving those complex problems.

Today I have been discussing one of those really complex issues in the church: drinking. I don't think the solution is as simplistic as Adrian Rogers or Danny Akin or any other tee-totaler can recommend. They are in that "Your alcohol abuse begins with your first drink, not your last. Just don't start!" So simple. And in a way, so ridiculous.

And I don't know if I can even listen to someone like Wade Burleson, who is so hardcore that one time, at supper, he drank a glass of wine! Take that SBC! Of course, according to Rogers and Akin and the rest, Burleson now should enter a 12 step program, that rotten booze hound!

I like Manning and Lewis more in dealing with these issues of faith. And it is teaching me to be more thoughtful about my faith. I had lunch with another friend, Aaron, and I was amazed at how quickly he could process information. I would sit and struggle with it. Aaron could zip through it. I was explaining some stuff I had heard at a conference that I was still working through. As I would mention it, Aaron would think and then say something like, "Okay, I can see that. I agree with that. That's not bad." He might ask one or two questions to clarify but by and large he was processing this stuff so quickly. Now if Aaron would write about those issues, I would listen. He was objective and accessible. Those are two things I need more of as I wade through issues with people. Or I could hollar from my soap box. The second is easier. But it makes me look foolish. How sad is it that as I get older, I seem to be getting more stupid.

I wish there were easy answers. It is just those people. Goodness. Ministry would be so easy if I never had to deal with people. People ruin a good ministry with their problems, issues and sins. Dang them. I need a drink...

Danielle-isms

2007-08-16T18:20:00.000-07:00

I happen to be seeing the greatest woman I have ever met. I absolutely admire her. She is the best person I know. One of my favorite things about her is the way she misuses the English language. She has these malapropisms, these funny turns of phrasings. And I would absolutely be robbing the world of insight, humor and joy if I were to keep it all to myself; to hoard it like a greedy child on Christmas morning. So here are a few of my favorites:

"I could really use to see you." - This was said after a tough day. She meant to say something like, "I really need to see you now," or "A visit with you would really help me right now." There are probably a thousand ways to say this. But none have the charm or the strange honesty tied up. What I like about it: she really felt that way. She really wanted to see me. I really try to think things through, measure my words carefully like ingredients. So when I say something I really have thought about it, thought it through completely. I do it to impress people. I do it to get a favorable reaction. She said it because she meant it. She thought how she needed to see me. And her mouth couldn't get the words out fast enough. It humbles me that she stumbles over her words simply because she loves me that much, that seeing me would be a cool drink of water on a bad day. Is that not amazing?

"Relaxful." - This was said to convey comfort, like "that nap was relaxing" or "Goodness, that night's sleep was quite restful." I tried to explain that something cannot be "full of relax." It was really impossible. But she seems to be committed to it. And you have to respect that. And it gives me hope. If she can be so dedicated and loyal to such an odd word, she may just be able to be dedicated and loyal to an odd man, like myself. And relaxing is a word that can be used to describe how I feel around her. I really don't have to prove or protect myself. I hope all of you can find that in someone you love. A sense of comfort and strength that allows you to be transparent, genuine. There isn't much pretense between us. I don't have to guard myself. I am finally allowing myself the freedom to expose who I am. That is liberating and relaxing at the same time. You were thinking that I was going to use the word "relaxful" weren't you? Well, no, because it still isn't a word. And while she can misuse the English language like that, I refuse to.

So, for now, I will continue to pretend to be offended when she says things like that. I will exaggerate (her phrase is "being exaggeratory") at how often she abuses English. And each time it happens, more than likely, I will be absolutely crushed inside by how overwhelmingly wonderful she is. I don't deserve it at all. And for that, and for her, I will be forever grateful.

Second Verse Same as the First

2007-08-03T23:36:00.000-07:00

In a brief follow up to yesterday. I am going to give you some advice and then make two statements and then qualify one of them somewhat. Here goes.

The advice: Never read through James on a mission trip. Just too much to handle for one poor, misguided missional fool.

Statement: Like all Christians, I hate sin.

Qualify it: Like all Christians, I hate YOUR sin. Mine is fine, thank you very much. But yours, ugh! I can't even think about it. You are so bad. Your sin is so awful. When you die and get into eternity, God will certainly smite you. Your sin is icky. In fact, every time you sin a puppy dies. That is how bad it is. When I sin, it isn't that big a deal. Only a cat dies.

Statement: Christians cannot separate sin from the sinner. We should. We would like to. We seem incapable of it. So, since we hate your sin, we pretty much hate you too.

But Jesus loves me. Thanks Jesus.

(Note: this post was written late at night in a highly sarcastic tone and manner)

How can I share the simple, life changing love of Jesus Christ when I hate the people I am called to share it with?

So Close Yet So Far Away

2007-08-02T22:51:00.000-07:00

I am back in Chicago, sort of my second or third home. While I have really enjoyed being here again, God has really spoken profoundly to me. The last two youth trips I have lead have been quite fruitful spiritually, at least for me. Camp was rich with insight into God's word, revealed to me through the Spirit.

And today a light just turned on for me about evangelism. People without Christ really are not that far from him. In fact, some of the people who we would assume are far from God are actually so close to discovering Jesus. It just takes someone to help be that conduit of God's mercy, love and grace.

Today I heard someone read from the first chapter of the Qur'an. And it absolutely opened my eyes. I also heard from a Pakistani pastor who has an intimate working knowledge of Islam and also from a man who has really and truly studied Islam and read through the Qur'an many times. In the first chapter, if you heard in it modern English, you might be surprised by what it says. In it is a phrase that is repeated by devout Muslims seventeen times as they pray five times each day towards Mecca. The phrase is a plea to Allah to help them find the "straight way." Seventeen times every day Muslims ask Allah to show them the straight way. Every day Muslims want to find the straight, narrow road to God.

And so many Christians refuse to enter any kind of dialogue with them about that straight way. In fact, most Christians are so nominal in their faith that they couldn't even point to John 14:6 and tell a Muslim, "You know, you pray seventeen times a day for Allah to show you the straight way. Would you like to know who is the straight way? It is Jesus Christ. According to John 14:6, Jesus says he is the way and the truth and life. Nobody gets to God except through Jesus."

They don't enter into that conversation for so many reasons. Some won't because they are so ignorant of scripture that they cannot even link John 3:16 with John 14:6 and let those words compel them by the power of the Holy Spirit to share with others. Many won't because they don't even know a Muslim, although they are all over this great land.

But most will never enter into that conversation because they simply hate Muslims. They hate them. They hate their word for God (Allah). They hate their holy book, the Qur'an, which Muslims hold sacred. They hate their religion, their mosques and their practices. They hate everything that is important to Muslims.

Muslims are moving to the USA for life. They are not here for two years. They are not here until they get a little older than they will retire and return to Kabul or Kathmandu. They will live and marry and die here. Right now there are an estimated 7 million Muslims in America. That means they are now more populous than those who practice Judaism.

Why should a Muslim listen to us Christians? We hate them. We want them to die. We discredit everything they hold dear. We don't respect it. How can you show love to someone you hate? How? Will you take any gift from someone who hates you? Me neither.

Christians MUST leave behind their hate and ignorance and bigotry. We must get out of our bully pulpit. Sinners were attracted to Jesus. The rest of the world hates Christians. Read those two sentences again. What in the world has happened? Stop listening to Jack Van Impe or Pat Robertson and start reading what Jesus said. You cannot show someone you love them when you talk about how much you hate them

Have you ever read the Qur'an? Even a little? Have you ever met a Muslim? Have you ever invited one into your home? How can you reach out and minister in love to someone you hate, who does something you hate?

And where in the holy book of God called the Bible does it say ANYWHERE "Jesus looked at them and hated them?" How will you reach the gambler when you think he is a degenerate? How will you reach the alcoholic or the drug addict who you think is a burnout loser? How can you reach the homosexual who you think is a disgusting abomination? How will you reach the adulterer who you think is a lustful heathen and cheater? How will you reach the Muslim who you think is a horrible terrorist?

You know what all of those people have in common? They are sinners. Satan uses that evil snare of sin to keep them separated from God. And what do you have in common with them? You are a sinner too. Without Jesus Christ to conquer death, we would all burn in hell together. You. The gay couple. The gambler. The Muslim. Pat Robertson and Jack Van Impe. And me too. Jesus died on the cross and conquered, vanquished, defeated, crushed the devil. Jesus secured for us victory. We are NOT ashamed of Jesus Christ and the cross he was crucified on. In fact, Jesus died to create for us the straight way that even today Muslims will ask Allah to show them. Seventeen times.

Learn how to love like Jesus. Learn how to live like Jesus. Stop being an American Christian. Start being a Kingdom Christian. Love others. Share. They are so close to Christ. Yet they are so far away. Bridge that gap. Be proud and confident and bold in the Jesus Christ you say you believe in.

Finally

2007-07-19T23:54:00.000-07:00

Alright already. A new post.

There is so much to write about. And some of you people are pretty much in my face about not posting. So, I will try to get back on track. Below are some bullet points, in order of importance.

God Stuff: Man is God so very good. Honestly the past two months have revealed to me how great He really is. I am amazed at how God blesses me. I also realized that I need to spend more of who I am for God. I should really exhaust myself for the sake of the Father. When I die, I do NOT want to look great. I want to look spent. I want to pour myself out serving my Lord. I think so many of us hang on to a reserve of energy for really no good reason. Like Paul, pour yourself out until there is nothing left.

Love Stuff: I honestly think I met her. I mean, I technically met her ten years ago when she was still in, uhm, high school. But I sort of reconnected with her two months ago. She is amazing. In her and in this relationship I am experiencing the faithfulness of a God that I find to be frustratingly quiet sometimes, those awful moments when God is playing hard to get. But those are just his ways. And I refuse to complain about them now. She is so much more than I could have wanted or hoped for. Plus she is a hottie. And I am like a 4. Seriously, to quote Steve Bullard, I really out-punted my coverage. She is out of my league. I am Brian Wilson. She is Paul McCartney. Seriously, she is soooo much more amazing than I deserve.

Job Stuff: Still going. Sometimes I get frustrated. But I can always do a better job. Always.

Music Stuff: Three new groups have become iPod staples: The Dave Brubeck Quartet, The White Stripes and Th' Legendary Shack Shakers. Brubeck is just so interesting and endearing. Plus I love how he plays with time. Check out "Take Five." The White Stripes are huge. ELEPHANT is an AMAZING album. So, so good. And I love the song "Icky Thump" off of the album with the same name. My fave line? "You can't be a pimp and a prostitute too. ' Jack White is a genius. Th' Legendary Shack Shakers. They are sort of rock, punk, cowboy, rockabilly. Cowpunkabilly. Check out their album BELIEVE. So good.

Macca Stuff: New McCartney album out. Not as good as he previous effort CHAOS AND CREATION IN THE BACKYARD. Not as good as RUN DEVIL RUN or FLAMING PIE, the zenith of his late career resurgence. But MEMORY ALMOST FULL is still really good, more interesting than 99 percent of the rest of the music out there. "Ever Present Past" is good. So is "Mr. Bellamy" and "Only Mama Knows." But the high point is his five song medley ala ABBEY ROAD. It is very reflective. "Vintage Clothes" is catchy but it leads into my favorite song on the album "That Was Me." Great stuff. Check it out.

I have been doing a lot of reading. I will throw some stuff about that up later. Till then, leave me alone. I posted.

Together

2007-05-24T08:07:00.000-07:00

Life was meant to be lived together in community. Genesis (the book not the group) 2:18 says that it is not good for man to be alone. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 points out that two are better than one and that we are to be pitied if we don't have an encourager, a friend. Jesus surrounded himself with friends and even though he stole brief moments alone with God, he still made sure to be back with people. Hebrews 10:25 compels us to continue to worship together.

There is power in connecting to God together. There is heart in our worship, passion, when we worship together. Even Jesus promises in Matthew 18 that where two or three are gathered together, he will be there too. There is a promise when we worship together. That promise simply says that when we come together in Christ's name to worship the living God, He is present with us.

Now, keeping this in mind, Dick and Rick Hoyt are a father and son. Due to tragedy at birth Rick is unable to walk or talk. Eventually, through technology and the loving pushing of his parents to make sure he has as normal a life as possible, Rick was able to write out his thoughts. He communicated to his dad that he wanted to run in a simple five mile run. Dick wasn't a runner but agreed to push Rick's wheelchair in the run. Rick said it was the first time that he didn't feel handicapped, that race.

Now Dick pushes Rick all over. They have competed in marathons and triathlons, Dick towing Rick in a boat, riding with Rick on the front of his bike and pushing his streamlined racing wheelchair as he runs. Rick couldn't compete without his dad. Dick wouldn't compete without his son. But instead they do it together. Dick is the body. Rick is the heart.

There is deep spiritual truth to that. We shouldn't be happy or content worshipping without people we know should be in worship. If my worship lacks power or heart or passion, maybe it is because I know that there are people who should be connecting to God with me and I have let them slip away. I have not been living up to my end of the 10:25 challenge. Who do you know that should be in church but hasn't been? Why haven't you called them? Why is it acceptable to you that they are NOT in church?

Running the Cycle

2007-05-18T21:40:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow night we move another group of graduates through the youth ministry. It is my seventh class to see off since I got to Hot Springs. While I do feel older and certainly look it, I am extremely proud of watching another group run the cycle with me.

I have taken two groups completely through, from 7th through 12th grades. I look forward to more challenges. But tonight I feel a bit reflective. I am also feeling a bit tired. And restless.

Restless because I feel like things need to change. We cannot do what we have always done. There has always been a sense of fluidity to how we do ministry. But a youth ministry must be a bit more flexible. Must be fluid. We have to be able to make some significant changes every few years. Our ministry is entirely different every two years.

A regular church, its dynamic remains a bit more constant. But the youth ministry must be able to change somewhat. We are on the verge of some significant things. And we must be able to make some changes. So I am excited to see what lies ahead. And I am praying fervently that God will allow the freedom, the elbow room, for us to make the necessary changes. If not, it is just gonna be business as usual. And I am not sure that is exactly desirable.

So, change for change sake? Bad. But change for purpose, to help you get where you feel you are being lead? Have to do it. The problem is, I am not sure how open we are to making some changes like that right now. But I am sure your church is totally different than mine. Totally.

And a quick FYI. Apparently, Super Summer in Oklahoma in the mid-90's...not a bad idea after all. Who knew?

One last thing on my mind...
RIP Jerry Falwell. I'm not a huge Falwell fan but he had moments of clarity. And he kept somewhat rooted to the effectiveness of the local church. I saw him once on the show POLITICALLY INCORRECT and he was asked about the problem with welfare. He said the church dropped the ball and stopped taking care of the poor. That is why Congress was forced to deal with it. I thought that was great. Until he said that the reason 911 happened was because of the homosexuals and the pagans. And feminists.

Falwell was much more palatable than other Christian nutjobs who try to rally the troops on the far right. Lord, spare me from anyone from the 700 Club or Colorado Springs.

The First Day with The Widowmaker

2007-05-07T10:09:00.000-07:00

So I worked out today, for the first time, with a trainer. Now, to be clear, it was not my first workout. It was my first workout under the watchful eyes of a trainer. My trainer is named AJ but I affectionately refer to him as "The Widowmaker."

I call him "The Widowmaker" because as he was working me out, he told me about all of the men who have had health problems and/or heart attacks while he was putting them through a workout. That is encouraging news.

So today he just taught me some things I could do at home. We are not looking to be a musclehead. I just needed some basic exercises that I could do at home. I have been walking on the treadmill or around my neighborhood since November almost every day. But I need to start building muscle, getting stronger and toning up. And after today, I need to strengthen my core - the back and specifically my lower back.

Man, we did some stuff for about an hour and a half that I thought was going to kill me. And the thing is I could barely do any of the exercises: new-fangled push-ups, twisting, pseudo pilates, crunches, some easy weight training, working on the big ball. Honestly, I was not that successful doing any of the exercises. At first I felt a bit embarrassed and somewhat humiliated. How could I not do some of these easy things? But my core is weak. So I must work on strengthening the core. Luckily, according to "The Widowmaker", my back and chest and stomach will get stronger rather quickly.

When your core is weak, it makes every exercise uncomfortable and really difficult. It is hard to get into the flow when your back hurts or your legs give out from overcompensation. And as I was being pushed through that, it absolutely resonated with me spiritually. When my core is weak, everything else is just taxing. When my spirit is not connected with God, everything I do that is God or church-related is tiring and maybe even discouraging. It is certainly an empty experience. My prayers seems to bounce around the room. My praise and worship falls flat. My Bible reading might has well be a quick glance over the latest Red Sox box scores.

But as my core strengthens, both physically and spiritually, the harder things seem to come easier. And when the harder things come easier, I can experience more of them. And as I experience more of them, I become stronger.

The lazy fat guy who has been in charge for 32 years is still around. A part of him always will be. But I have to stay motivated to get healthy, both physically and spiritually. I have to work out each day, somehow. I can let some muscle groups rest some days but I still need some basic exercise. I need to spend at least one day a week working my exercises very slowly to activate multiple layers of muscle. And some days I need to work through the exercises quickly, to really get some cardio action happening.

I have to connect with God each day, somehow. I can let some of the intense study and prayer lax some days but I still need the basic connection. I need so spend at least one day a week working my prayer life out, digging deeply into God's word and meditating a while on what He is saying to me to activate deeper layers of faith. And some days I need to work out my faith quickly, to cover a lot of ground to sort of reconnect with some of the broader and larger themes happening.

Funny how things happen. The best thing? "The Widowmaker" actually came to me on his own and asked if he could help me out. He was really encouraging and wants to keep doing this. So I will. I will get stronger. I will be faithful to what he has taught me. And ultimately, my core will be strong enough to really allow me to work out.

Thankfully, working with "The Widowmaker" has sort of reconnected me to The Lifemaker.

Tired of Scratching God's Hand

2007-04-29T22:23:00.000-07:00

It was weird. Weird. I have a friend who just got a cat and the cat is a biter. "He is young and just wants me to play with him," the friend says. Biting cats and the owners who love them. Part of the magic and wonder that comes with the world of pets. But today I actually learned something in church and it connected strongly with this biting cat.

The vicar told a story about a father who gives in to his kids' nagging wishes to pick up a mangy kitten on the side of the road. He stops the car and goes to grab the cat. It is mangy, thin, unhealthy, hungry, scared and flea-infested. He goes to grab the mangy kitten and it absolutely scratches the fire out of his hand and goes crazy. The dad sort of wallops it around a bit and grabs it by the scruff of the neck and goes to toss it in the back seat with his kids. He warns them not to play with it because it is probably leprous. They take mangy cat home, clean it, love it and take care of it. They choose to keep it and it becomes another addition to the growing zoo of animals the father complains about. One day dad comes home and as he is reading the mail, he feels something rubbing up against his leg. It is the formerly mangy cat. Only now instead of arching its back and bearing its claws it shows its affection. It isn't the same cat. And yet it is. The father looks around, sees nobody looking, reaches down and strokes the cat. Now the cat is able to accept the love of the same hand that lifted it out of the pit not too long ago.

The vicar then said it. It ruined me. "God blessed me. He stuck his scarred and scratched and bloodied hand into my life and blessed me." I am tired of being mangy. I am tired of being flea infested and fighting the loving hand that wants to just take care of me. I pray, so deeply and desperately pray that I have finally learned to love that hand now. I don't want to be walloped anymore and tossed into safety against my will. I want to finally recognize the loving hand, the same hand that I fought so terribly against.

And finally, years after being lifted from the pit, I am a better me. Finally. I can recognize that the hand of God, the righteous right hand, leads my way, loves me completely and perfectly and relentlessly and lifts my weary head.

I looked at me and was just so disappointed in what I had become and who I was. So mangy. And now? Well, I would like to think I am fairly new. There is room enough in my life for the most important thing on earth for me now. God created the space.

And that is smooth.

Hot Fuzz

2007-04-24T13:33:00.000-07:00

Wonderfully hysterical movie. I don't laugh at movies too often. I think the last two movies I remember laughing at were "Meet the Robinsons" (seriously the dinosaur killed me) and "For Your Consideration" (the Fred Willard throwaway line about blind prostitutes is the best line in any Chris Guest movie).

But I laughed out loud at least seven or eight times during this movie. Unheard of. I am sort of a comedy snob. I laugh at tv shows (The Office, Arrested Development, Extras) more than movies. They typically never make me laugh. But HOT FUZZ did. It was crazy funny. It starts off somewhat slow (not the action or the editing, but the funny), however after a visit to a old farmer's shed it absolutely picks up. The theater I saw it in actually broke into applause three seperate times due to the laughter.

If you are a guy, you HAVE to see this movie. Not sure how much ladies will like it, unless your humor is black and somewhat dry.

I know it has been a while since I posted anything but life gets busy. Get out and see this movie. You will dig it.

Get Back

2007-04-11T12:35:00.000-07:00

So after taking two weeks off and taking twelve steps backwards, I tried to get back on track this past week.

Today was also the first day to weigh in with accountability. I actually had a guy there with me to weigh me. And I came in nine pounds down from last week. So I went from losing 105 pounds and then gaining twelve back and now the grand total is back over the 100 mark at 102.

It feels good to be back on track. I lost the most pounds I have lost since the first week. Here's why: when I went back to eating like a maniac for two weeks, I effectively reconditioned my body to eat waaaaay to much. So getting back to a healthier way to live meant making yet another dramatic difference in lifestyle. I also upped the intensity and length of my workouts on the treadmill. It all factors into dropping the weight I needed to drop.

Tomorrow I get to see my brother and some friends as we celebrate the heavenly homecoming of Ed Smith. Hallelujah. I learned long ago that God doesn't respect time like I think he should. God does what he does in his perfect time. I only see life through my view down here from the temporal. He lives in eternity. Trying to get me to understand eternity is probably like trying to teach a collie geometry. It is incapable of understanding because it is so far beyond the realm of what it knows and understands. So that is me. A stupid dog who eats too much when the food is put out there in front of him. But I do have a nice, shiny coat.

Peace

2007-04-09T22:00:00.000-07:00

I feel like I lost my dad twice. I lost him when my folks got divorced. Once he lost custody (after an emotional court battle) he just checked out. In essence he told my mom, "You want them so badly? You got em. I am done." And he checked out. From that point (when I was six) until I was about twenty six, my dad and I were pals. Don't get me wrong, it is great to have that dynamic with your father as long as he continues to be your dad.

After a really weird teenage period, I left to pursue education in college and go into the ministry. Dad never really understood why I did that and certainly did not approve of that choice. But by that time he had sort of lost all dad standing he might have had. But he was never proud of me for what I was doing. Even though he went to church and taught the occasional Sunday School lesson, he missed a lot of what church really is. And he eventually told people I was a bouncer at a strip club when they asked what I was doing out of college. I know they all knew that was a joke. But deep down, that joke came from a place of disapproval and shame and embarrassment. I am not sure if it was how he felt about himself or me or God or what. I didn't really care at the time.

Then when I was about 26, we went to Denver together to visit my grandma, his mom, one last time. We had a long drive together and we got to really talk some things out. Basically I figured out that my dad was really a screwed up guy from way back. It helped me gain some perspective on who he was and what he had become. It certainly didn't excuse him for what he did. But it did give me some new perspective. I came to a point where I forgave him. And he understood me. And then we started having weekly grown-up, mature, father and son talks. I would ask his advice. He would ask mine. I got to enjoy a relationship with my dad for a short period of time that even both of my brothers missed out on.

After a few years of building a relationship, he died suddenly of a massive heart attack while driving. My dad smoked unfiltered cigarettes for over forty years. He was a heavy drinker for the last fifteen or so. And the Smith men are not known as being the healthiest of folks. My grandpa Smitty died in his 50's of kidney failure well before any of his grandsons were born. This is one of the reasons that I am dead set on losing weight. My clock is ticking. I want to squeeze all I can out of life. I am 32 and single. If I get married and start a family, I want more than ten or fifteen or twenty years with them. I want to grow old with my wife. I want to see my grandchildren born. I want to meet my youngest child's wife when he gets married. To do that, I need to get healthy.

I am feeling somewhat thoughtful tonight. A friend from a previous church passed away in his late forties over the weekend. It makes me pause. He was healthy, at least he always seemed that way to me. And he died of a massive heart attack. So, now I am forcing myself to drop another 100 or so pounds, to get down to a weight that will help me prolong my life.

For those of you who pray, lift one or two up for Paula and Josh who lost Ed, their father and husband. For those who are more comfortable lifting a glass (I have all types who read this, regardless of the lack of comments...jerks), lift one for Ed. And lift a diet soda for Todd L. Smith, my friend and yes, my dad too.

Oh Man

2007-04-04T09:07:00.000-07:00

What a good week or two away from the diet. I went to Chicago on a mission trip with some of my youth here and we had a great week. And I ate and ate and ate. I also neglected to work out each day. And I didn't drink enough water at all.

Needless to say I gained. And I gained. En toto I gained about 12 pounds. But you know what? I don't care! I really enjoyed the trip and the bonus was being able to experience it through what I ate. I started again today and retabulated my weekly weight loss goals to fit accordingly with where I am headed.

Also, dave mac sent me the best non-dave blog link. Check out this weblog written by agnostics who church hop and then write a sort of report about their experience, sort of a post-modern Siskel and Ebert for the post-Christian culture we live in. But their ratings system is a little more complex than the infamous thumbs system popularized on the S&E show.

Here is the web addy: http://churchhop.blogspot.com Those of you who work at a church, this is valuable insight into how effective you are reaching the masses, as it were. And no that is not a fat joke since I gained weight these past two weeks. You should be ashamed for thinking that. It is so very hurtful. I cried a single tear.

Chicago Break

2007-04-02T08:22:00.000-07:00

I took a two week break from dieting so I could take a group of teenagers to Chicago. It is hard to diet on the road and I didn't want to subject healthy teenagers with high metabolisms to my stupid diet. So I ate. I also enjoyed good fellowship as we experienced Chicago's great food together.

I also probably gained about ten pounds, give or take. I didn't exercise much at all. I ate way too much. I did not get as much water as I needed. And I am okay with that.

I understand that the setbacks are not devastating. I work through them and just add a little more time. Besides, I figure five months on a diet and two weeks off is a fair trade. Starting Wednesday, we go for another five months. Hopefully I can drop some more weight and nudge myself ever closer to the ideal weight which awaits me.

So, that is a brief update in the world of dieting Craig.

Why Do I Care?

2007-03-22T08:04:00.000-07:00

I am a person of varied interests and unusual distractions. My mind works in such a way that I find myself caring about things nobody else in my circle of immediate friends gives two thoughts to.

One thing I find myself spending too much time with is my music collection. I have a wide and varied collection, very eclectic. Music that ranges from polka, big band, lounge and folk to jazz, hard rock, 80's music, British invasion, 50's rockabilly, blues and even country. Sick isn't it.

One thing I find myself caring about WAAAAYYYY too much is that stupid Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I pride myself on having music from EACH member (including sidemen like King Curtis for example) of the infamous hall in my collection. I have problems, I know.

Each year when they announce who the new inductees are for the rock hall, I find myself getting either way too excited or way too upset. Here's why: there are people in the Hall who got in too early and there are way too many acts who NEED to be in there but aren't. It blows my mind all the time when I search the hall for certain inductees only to find out that they are NOT in the hall...wha???? So from time to time I feel the need to vent about that. I will do it here.

Here are a few people or groups who I am totally shocked are not yet in the HOF:

Chicago - Seriously? Does the Rock Hall just hate all non-punk music from the 70's? Let's see, Elvis Costello and the Attractions is in. The Talking Heads, Ramones, The Clash, Blondie, The Pretenders, The Velvet Underground, The Sex Pistols, Patti Smith and The Police (before Synchronicity they were punk) are all in. Have we FINALLY exhausted the punk movement that mercifully killed disco in the late 70's and early 80's? Do we need to put the English Beat in for good measure? And Chicago isn't? I can understand Reo Speedwagon or Styx not making it in. But Chicago? Really? Huge hits spanning the 70's and 80's? 25 or 6 to 4? Saturday in the Park? If they are not voted in the two or three years, the Rock Hall is just impotent. Peter Cetera's voice, those compositions, songs every teenager from the 80's danced or made out to...they HAVE to make it and soon.

John Mellencamp - He will get in. Once we flush out this backlog of over-important and over-hyped 70's punk bands and put in Run DMC. Check out this resume of music of which I will indicate its zenith on the Billboard charts: Jack and Diane (#3), Pink Houses, R-O-C-K in the USA (#6), Authority Song, I Need a Lover, Small Town (#2), Hurts So Good (#1), Crumblin' Down (#1), Lonely Ol' Night (#1), Rumble Seat (#4), Paper in Fire (#1), Cherry Bomb (#1), Hard Times for an Honest Man (#10), Check it Out (#3), Pop Singer (#2), Jackie Brown (#20), Martha Say (#8), Get a Leg Up (#1)...and there are STILL more #1's I have NOT included from the 90's. I assume the only reason Mellencamp is not in yet is because he is primarily and 80's and 90's success and they will wait a few years. But Prince is in. As is Michael Jackson. REM is in. U2 is in. Bruce is in. Mellencamp is the only one left. He will be in soon.

Rush - since every other culture defining and really unique group is in (heck, even The Lovin' Spoonful is in) Rush should be in too. If Percy Sledge can make it in for one song, you gotta let Rush in. YOU HAVE TO.

Boston - Sadly, they may be considered now that their lead singer has killed himself. Expect Boston to make it as soon as they induct The Boomtown Rats to help fill in that vague early 80's punk scene.

Cheap Trick - Again, another 70's band. Once the Rock Hall finally gets Iggy Pop and the Stooges in, they will have run out of reasonable punk influences. Then we will see some of these 70's bands make it in. There are PLENTY of lesser groups in the hall than Rush, Boston and Cheap Trick.

Genesis / Peter Gabriel's solo career - How is he NOT in? How is Genesis not in? You HAVE to put Genesis in NOW. And then, after a few years, put in Gabriel. Hasn't he done enough for poverty and trouble in Africa? Before Bono found Africa on a map, before Bob Geldoff parlayed one decent song into a career as rock's first statesman, there was Peter Gabriel. When Bono stepped off the plane into the black heart of that lost continent, Gabriel met him in the airport. These two acts have to be in. Everyone knows at least four Genesis songs. And at least three Peter Gabriel. Quick - how many Moonglows songs do you know? The Dells? Name two OTHER O'Jays songs...see?

Joan Jett and the Blackhearts - Seriously, this woman rocks. If you put Patti Smith in, than you HAVE to put Joan Jett in. The good thing about Joan? She loves Rock and Roll and doesn't give a damn about her bad reputation.

KISS - Too bad they were so flashy and never really had big hits. They have only been one of the highest grossing rock acts of all time. If Gene Simmons had been more Paul Stanley and less himself, they would probably be in. But he is such a media whore and shameless promoter that he has really sullied and muddied up the whole KISS franchise. They may be the only ones on this list to NOT get in ever. Too bad. Cause last time I saw Ace Frehley, he looked awful. Like he had been snorting coke from a flaming bong bad. Ugh.

Pat Benatar - Again, she will get in. But I am afraid that this is an either or vote with Joan Jett. Either one or the other will get in. And that is too bad because they did not make that same deal with Lynyrd Skynyrd and Bob Seger.

Steve Miller - Admit it...who reading this blog has not at one time owned the greatest hits collection of The Steve Miller Band? You can name five Miller songs right now...Joker, Take the Money And Run, Jet Airliner, Fly Like an Eagle, Abracadabra... and you had two or three others. Once the New York Dolls complete the brand new 70's punk wing, Steve Miller gets in. If Jackson Browne, Skynyrd and Seger can make it, you HAVE to let Steve Miller in.

The Dave Clark Five - How...never mind. They are the only great 60's band not in. And there are at least five more in who shouldn't be (paging The Ronettes, The Righteous Brothers, The Lovin' Spoonful, Del Shannon, The (Young) Rascals - your wake up call is here and it is called the DCF).

Alice Cooper - You have all this punk, all this heavy metal, no Alice? How? He has to be in soon. Has to be.

Todd Rundgren (he produced so many of the great punk albums of the 70's - NY Dolls, Patti Smith so you think he would be a mortal lock) but he also recorded some great stuff AND produced OTHER great acts (Cheap Trick, Badfinger, Hall and Oates, Janis Joplen, the Band, Paul Butterfield, Foghat, Grand Funk, Alice Cooper, Bad Religion...that is a partial list).

Anyone I left off? Anyone here you do NOT agree with? Comment a brother. And so help me, if any of you say The Monkees should be in there and are comparable to The Beatles, I will strangle you. Comparing The Monkees to The Beatles is like comparing Star Trek to NASA.

A Quitter Never Wins

2007-03-21T08:22:00.000-07:00

Back again. The title of today's post is a call back to a Jonny Lang song off of his album LIE TO ME. I think he was in his late teens when he released the disc. It is sort of becoming the theme to my life. Not just weight loss. Right now I am committed to lose weight but I am tired in a way of that being the totality of my existence and the only subject people talk about.

People week after week after week, all they talk about is the weight. I understand I have made a dramatic shift in how I live. But I am more than what I weigh now, what I used to weigh and how much I have lost. This past weekend at church I found myself sort of secretly wishing I could start over new some place where they never knew big fat me. That way we could talk about other things besides my weight. No wonder people develop eating disorders and have HUGE issues with self-esteem. Everyone is obsessed with how much people weigh.

Ironically here is my weight loss info for the past week. Even though I am tired of talking about it ad nausea with every Tom, Dick and Harry...I have lost seven pounds (!) since last week, bringing the grand total to...

105 pounds! I have FINALLY busted the infamous century mark. I am not obsessed with losing weight. But I do still get excited about hitting some of these important numbers. 25, 50, 75 and now 100. It does feel good. What doesn't feel so good is that I probably need to lose another 100.

So I keep at it. There are many areas of my life where I refuse to quit. If I am going to do something, from here on out I want to do it with my absolute best effort. Too many people shut off huge portions of their lives because they have bumped up against some problems, some struggles, some issues. That is just backwards living. I had job issues so I am going to settle. I had family issues so I am resigning from the family and disappearing. I had relationship problems so I am just not dealing with any relationships period.

That seems easy. I have been in all of those places. I assume everyone has or everyone will. But from now on I cannot allow that defeatist mentality to overwhelm me. I keep moving. Because, as trite as it seems, a quitter never wins.

The Best Music About God You Won't Hear

2007-03-19T07:56:00.000-07:00

I am a teen herder. Youth minister. Youth director. Youth guy. Minister to youth. However you want to say it, I do that. The only thing I really do NOT like about working in the church is being stuck in that church "culture" or in the Christian "ghetto" as many are inclined to label it. There it seems music, logos, shirts, shoot almost everything, has to be marketed to Christians. We seem to have lost the ability to think and make rational decisions informed by our belief in Christ and our knowledge of scriptures.

Instead if we could just slap the words "purpose" and "driven" on it or call something post-modern or even make something catchy into a cute little bracelet, effectively proving we have absolutely NO creativity on our part whatsoever, we are going to make millions in the Christian subculture.

Today I take Christian music to task. Christian music, I believe, can be divided into five basic groups:
1. Old people music (Gaithers, MWS, SCC, Amy Grant etc). These are people who have become so associated with Christian music that they can never break out, despite efforts in the early 90's to do so. I lump in DC Talk, tobymac, Mercy Me and any Christian music that I tolerate or semi-enjoy because at least these groups or acts have staying power and I can somewhat enjoy them.
2. Christian Rap - while just ten years ago, C-Rap was exactly that, CRAP, now it has blossomed into an interesting scene. Acts like Lecrae, Tedashii, John Reuben, KJ-52 and even my boy Cedenough are sort of staking out territory I feel that people like Flash and the Five started exploring years ago, becoming sort of a voice of their generation. They are not talking about drugs, hoochies and booty. They are relating their lives, their experiences. I really enjoy this stuff.
3. Christian version of whatever is popular in the general pop market. The Christian subculture word for this is secular. I hate those distinctions. And I hate this music. If I wanted to listen to the Chili Peppers or to Dave Matthews or John Mayer, I would just listen to them and then have a devotional time with God. I don't need both at the same time.
4. Praise and worship music. While there are many artists who do this well (Charlie Hall, Tomlin, Crowder, Redman) sometimes this is the genre people resign themselves to when they realise they need to make money or are passing their creative primes. If another regular old CCM artist relegates him or herself here, singing Charlie Hall's greatest hits in a new, somewhat tired-sounds-too-much-like-the-original way, I will leave the whole genre behind and sing chants.
5. Hymns. Old. Some are amazing. Some are confusing. Most are dull. But these hymns can give us a framework. Not a framework of FAITH, but one that leads us into what we NEED to be doing to reach a lost world dying without Jesus. Utilize music. Don't wander over to the dark side of the CCM industry. Instead, take music to the places where it needs to be. Many of our old hymns are just drinking songs, pub songs, re-written with God-praising lyrics. That is where we should be headed.

If you haven't noticed, in the past two or three years, there have been significant releases of faith. Artists have recorded albums that have outstripped ANYTHING that has come from the world of CCM. The depth of honesty, soul-searching and, YES, faith in Christ has been astonishing, surprising, encouraging and, most importantly, produced great music. Here is a shortlist of the best albums about God released in the past few years:

Honorable mention: Anything by Sufjan Stevens. Sufjan is a Christian folk-singer. Wait, he is a Christian who is also a folk singer. And he is one of the ten most influential musicians performing today. His influence runs deep on most college campuses. His long song titles even touched David Crowder, although most people stuck in the church probably thought those weird titles on Crowder's latest release were due to the fact that he looks like an alien and a corpse had a child and should be as weird as he looks. Sufjan's SEVEN SWANS album is great. Full of faith and you can see how God is working out Sufjan's salvation with fear and trembling.

Ben Harper. Sure, some of the lifestyles lived by people in this section may be a "turn-off" to the Falwell set. But that is a loss I can deal with. Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals play the best soulful R&B today. And there is a consistent string of faith, even leading Harper to try multiple projects with famed gospel group The Blind Boys.

Here are the albums I mentioned earlier. From fourth to first, these are the albums truly leaving an impression of Christ on my life.

4. BAPTISM - Lenny Kravitz - I LOVE listening to Lenny. You can really see on this album how Lenny battles his appetite for sin and the duality he lives every day. He knows there is a battle fighting within himself between his demons and better angels. Probably too much James 3 and 4 for most Christians to really enjoy.

3. HOW TO DISMANTLE AN ATOMIC BOMB - U2 - How can you NOT think about Christ when you listen to U2? This album covers so much territory for Christ. It talks about God's place in society and in the club scene. Bono reveals how he is trying to nudge someone closer to Christ. And it ends with the most dynamic praise song written since U2 wrote 40 almost twenty years ago.

2. COLORBLIND - Robert Randolph and the Family Band - But wait Craig, you holler. They won a DOVE award!!! They are a CCM group! I declare not so. They do things that CCM bands never ever ever ever do or will ever get the chance to do. They perform in seedy bars. A lot. They really enjoy the music. They opened for Clapton and are consistently playing Bonnaroo and Crossroads Guitar Festival. They are even gonna open for Dave Matthews Band in the fall. They still sound like they stepped right out of the church. They are funky, rocky and just plain amazing.

1. TURN AROUND - Jonny Lang - Holy COW! This album is the album that every CCM artist wishes he was deep enough, connected enough to Christ, talented enough and brave enough to record. And they WON'T. Even in the safe confines of the CCM industry, they continue to record the same crapola they always record. Jonny Lang made a conversion a few years ago and this album is just...seriously, you will not believe what Christ is doing and how honestly and openly Lang talks about it. Not to mention the fact that the former blues prodigy is growing nicely into his amazing talents and developing a knack for song-writing. Honestly, this is the best album about Christ I have ever heard. And, probably, the best album about Christ you have never heard.

Change that. Check out these discs ASAP. I bet Dave already has TURN AROUND and will soon be singing the praises of Jonny Lang himself.

Walgreens

2007-03-14T08:37:00.000-07:00

I do. One of the things you really have to give up, whether you diet or not, is sausage. I miss sausage biscuits and sausage gravy and sausage pizza. But there is nothing, absolutely nothing, about sausage I should eat. It is weird. Of all things to miss because of the diet, I miss sausage.

Well, it passed. Speaking of things passing, Monday night into Tuesday morning I was constipated for the first time in my life. That was the worst I have ever felt ever. I wanted to vomit or have a BM. Something. I was desperate. Regardless of how I laid in bed or sat in the chair, no position was comfortable. Eventually at about 4:30AM, I put on the slippers and drove to Walgreen's to buy some sort of laxative, for relief. I found that they have a rather extensive collection of laxatives. And I don't know about you but I did NOT want to just walk up and ask them which one is best.

Even though I was desperate, I was hanging onto a shred of dignity. I don't know why. It doesn't take a Monk or a Columbo to figure it out. Angry looking young man comes into 24 hour pharmacy wearing pajamas, ratty t-shirt and house slippers. He grunts his way back to the laxatives shelving (which, THANK GOD, is clearly labeled so you don't have to waste time searching or, God forbid, ASK where it is). At 4:30AM. Someone must need to poop.

So I find the liquid stuff that you can take to clean you out before surgery. It promises relief in anywhere from 30 minutes to 6 hours. That is better than the 6-12 hour range that the others promise. I grab it and go buy a bottle of water (need some cool water to rinse it all down). I get to the counter and the one dollar bottle of water and the four dollar laxative ring up to 15 dollars. At that point I didn't care. I was willing to pay it and go. But Trudie decided to figure out what the difference was. Apparently she had rung up a beanie toy and never took it off. So now I have to wait for helpful Trudie to re-ring it.

All I want to do is go home and give birth to this brown baby that is clinging for dear life to my colon. And Trudie is trying to cancel off Froofie the purple bear. AND SHE CANNOT DO IT. She calls Mr. so-and-so up. This has now turned into something wholly awful and embarrassing. I just wanted to sneak in, get the poop-juice and leave. Now we are calling in Mr. so-and-so from the back. And forcing me to switch registers. Dear Lord in heaven...eloi, eloi...

The pain at that point was horrendous. I had trouble walking. Finally she checks me out and I hobble back to the car. I get home and force down the maximum dosage possible (nine teaspoons) and then throw down the water.

About two hours later I do not feel the pain of the blockage. Another hour after that, it happened. This was a purging of Biblical proportions. If I were to turn back and look, I would have become a pillar of salt. This was a mass exodus of EVERYTHING inside of me. I expected Charleton Heston to crawl out of my belly button and raise his arms over my toilet. Unbelievable. And then, finally, about an hour of sleep. Sweet, pain-free, sleep. Then it hit me. That was TOTALLY my chance to get some chocolate laxative thing. Dang it. I could have had chocolate. Go figure.

After a rough and busy weekend, a weekend where food was used to celebrate friendships, I only lost two pounds. That is much better than I anticipated. Those two bring the total up to 98.

So, in all of this experience, I still miss sausage. And only chocolate laxatives from now on.

Used to Be Bad

2007-03-07T08:57:00.000-08:00

Macca inspires this post too! I used to be a bad boy, eating all sorts of awful crap.

But this week I decided to bust out of the diety doldrums. I started keeping a journal on Saturday, logging all I ate and did as far as exercise goes. I also make sure that I drink my 64 ounces of water each day. So far I have had my vitamins, exercised, had at least 64 ounces of water a day, and eaten around 1200 calories each day.

And I have dropped some nice pounds. Down another four pounds. Brings the grand total to 96. Almost 100!!! If this weekend was not Freedom Weekend, I would be able to guarantee that next week I am hitting the hundred mark. But since it is a big weekend and some friends are coming in, I am going to allow myself some slack. But come Monday I am back on the stick in a hard way. I am SO excited. About myself. About losing. About Freedom. Should be a great weekend.

And I always have the Macca to walk to.

Macca is Back

2007-03-07T08:23:00.000-08:00

This past week I was able to really take some time and load all of my favorite music onto my brand new iPod which I was able to buy after hitting my third goal weight a few weeks back. One of the key additions (after the Beatles of course) was putting all of my Paul McCartney (or Macca) music on there.

I have every album, I think, that he has released as a solo or as a Wing-er. He has a huge catalogue. Not all of it stellar. But much of it is really good. If you are the casual fan and are thinking about what Macca discs to grab, I would suggest the Wings: Hits and History collection. Has pretty much what you want. It covers, fairly extensively, the hits from all of the 70's and into the early 80's. It is not just a Wings collection, as much of his early 70's (McCartney, Ram) are on there as well as his solo stuff from the early 80's (Press to Play, Give My Regards to Broad Street, McCartney II, Tug of War, Pipes of Peace).

If you are more interested in his actual best stuff as far as individual collections go, beware. Many Macca albums are similar: two or three great hits, one or two other killer songs true Macca fans love, crap filler. But he does have five albums which are worth a look.

Ram - this album has held up surprisingly well over the years. I think it stands up better than McCartney the first post-Beatles release for any of them. Ram has some great stuff on it Too Many People and Uncle Albert/Admiral Halsey. It also has one of my absolute fave Macca tunes Monkberry Moon Delight. And it has two nice acoustic numbers Heart of the Country, Back Seat of My Car. Great stuff and not too much filler.

Band on the Run - perhaps the finest album released by any single Beatle. From top to bottom, by far the best Wings album, easily. Band on the Run, Jet, Let Me Roll It, Helen Wheels, Nineteen Hundred and Eighty Five, Bluebird, Picasso's Last Words... Just good music.

The other three albums are newer Macca. He has sort of hit a creative upswing in the past few years, releasing four albums that are all better than anything after 1980 and I think even better than anything since BOTR. Here are the best:

Flaming Pie - Great album. I think that Macca really achieved something significant. After working on the Beatles Anthology, he was inspired to challenge himself in the studio and really work out a cohesive album. He worked with Steve Miller some and even collaborated with Ringo for a few songs. And the songs...The Song We Were Singing, Young Boy, Calico Skies, Flaming Pie, Little Willow, Used to be Bad. Calico Skies and Flaming Pie are classic Macca and sound even better live.

Run Devil Run - After Linda died, Paul was quiet for a year or two. When he returned to follow up Pie he hit the studio with Chris Thomas (the sound man who started with the Beatles on the White Album). He also brought in some accomplished musicians to help him out. David Gilmour (Pink Floyd), Ian Paice (Deep Purple), Mick Green (Billy J. Kramer and the Dakotas, the Pirates). All they did was hit the studio for two or three days and did covers of obscure rock and roll hits from the 50's. Only Macca knew the hits, they were that obscure. The Beatles prided themselves on playing not just the hits in Hamburg in the early 60's but also the rare B-sides and novelty and lesser known rock gems. Macca mines his past for these hits and they absolutely rock. He even writes three new songs that sound exactly right in this setting. This is my fave Macca disc of all time. To help him cope with Linda's loss, he reverts back to rocker Macca and it totally works. Great rock and wonderful walking music.

Chaos and Creation in the Back Yard - His latest release. A little more mellow. Macca basically played all the instruments on this one, produced by Nigel Godrich (Radiohead, Beck). It holds some great tunes. Jenny Wren Macca describes as the daughter to the Beatles hit Blackbird. English Tea, Friends to Go, Fine Line, Follow Me, Promise to You Girl. Great stuff.

So check out this Macca tunage. You will not be disappointed.

Robert Randolph and Family Band

2007-02-28T13:40:00.000-08:00

Last night I went to yet another concert at George's (not the greatest venue). But the band more than made up for the crappy locale. I saw Robert Randolph with six friends. And NOBODY can groove like Jackson Cellers. That dude was killing me.

And Trey made some great friends too. RR&TFB were awesome. They threw down five or six cuts from their new disc COLORBLIND. It is powerful. So funky and so many grooves you will get lost in them. They played the standouts live (Homecoming, Jesus is Just Alright, Deliver Me, Ain't Nothing Wrong with That) as well as some great older cuts they do including their best song ever More Love. They also did some great covers that they blended seamlessly into original material. They also played some extended jams. It was just amazing. They may be the most talented band musically playing that funky gospel R&B. I first saw RR&TFB open for Clapton. Soon they are opening for Dave Matthews. That will be an amazing concert.

Also I lost another four pounds this week. I am now down 92 total. Hopefully in two weeks I can hit 100. Hard to think that I am almost there.

Concert Review: Big Smith at George's Majestic

2007-02-22T07:45:00.000-08:00

It was brought to my attention by this smoking hot chick that I never posted about Big Smith, what may just be the concert event of the century. It also dawned on me that I am in line to see some good concerts in the next month or so. So I will give you a quick recap of what went down.

First of all the venue was at George's Majestic Lounge in Fayatteville, Arkansas. Basically a dive. They threw up some sort of temporary-tent-like-bubble-room and have made it the main concert venue in Arkansas for the up-and-coming and lesser-knowns out there. As a venue it absolutely sucks. But the fact that everyone plays at George's supercedes that fact. It is not as rich with history as Cain's Ballroom in Tulsa or even as nice as most smaller places and clubs in Dallas or OKC. But it is basically all we have. And we get good groups playing there right before or after their visit to Cain's or somewhere else in Tulsa. But Big Smith is sort of a regional fave.

They are in my top five faves. It goes Beatles, McCartney, Robert Randolph (who plays George's in a week!!!), Big Smith and Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals. Big Smith is sort of a hillbilly-bluegrass-western-roots-gospel-bar band who play some great songs that they wrote themselves but sound like old mountain songs from the Bull Creek region in Missouri. They are also aptly named as three of the five first cousins (two sets of brothers and another first cousin) wear big smith overalls. From the first strains of Go Away Maggie I knew that Big Smith was going to be great. And they were. They played all my fave Big Smith songs (Burn Down the House and Leave by the Light of the Fire, 12 Inch 3 Speed Oscillating Fan, Trash, Preacher, Die Dead Die, Poison, Backwater, Rich Man's Poor). But the best part is watching all the drunken partiers there dancing around.

Plus George's is a smallish venue and people get very touchy. They all move around the place, never content to stand sort of in the same spot. They gotta go get their drinks or what have you. Which means they touch you as they walk past. My pal Trey was quite uncomfortable with all of the touching. But if the casual "Excuse me" touch was bad for him, he was in for a treat.

In the close confines of the dance floor there at George's you get the chance to dance with many people, whether you want to or not. Trey and I were impressed at the number of decent looking women who seemed to be dancing in our personal space throughout the night. And then it happened.

This 45 year old-looking Italian dude (who spent most of his night trying to find SOME woman, ANY woman, to dance with him...more power to him) came dancing over. He had a very unique style: it was sort of the pelvic thrust coupled with a strange hiccuppy stagger. And he had this habit of looking behind him to make sure everyone saw how cool he was. Well, Rocky Baldetti shimmied his way over to Trey's close, extremely close, personal space and danced there for at least an entire song. To try my best to explain the scene, Rocky Baldetti was Candy the exotic pelvic-thrusty-dancer and Trey was the pole. It was so many things at the same time: disturbing, hysterical, memorable, vomit-inducing and creeepy. He would dance and bounce his body off of Trey's in a way that should only happen in Sodom or prison. And then he would look back to see if Trey or anyone was watching.

Eventually a decent-looking bird walked by and he staggered off after her. But not before I had to cover my face in my smoke-smelling sweatshirt to keep from crying at the laughter. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen.

Great concert. Interesting drunken Arkansans. And Rocky Baldetti. One great concert event.

I hope Trey got Rocky's number...

Popeye's Smothered Chicken or How I Hit My Third Goal Weight

2007-02-21T08:40:00.000-08:00

To quote Hiro from Heroes, "I DID IT!!!" I have hit my third weight loss goal. I have dropped 88 pounds now and passed the third weight loss goal with a whole pound to spare. Now comes the heavy lifting and hard road toward losing another 35 and getting to the fourth weight loss goal. However, I at least get to celebrate with music while I exercise because the reward for the third weight loss goal was...an iPod! Craig = excited.

This week I really want to work hard. I have never really had a complete week in weight loss. Typically I sort of stray off the calorie counting on Wednesday and Thursday and even some on Friday only to have to REALLY tow the line Saturday through Tuesday. This week the only free meal I have scheduled in is supper on Sunday night at the Brau Haus, this great little German joint with incredible live jazz on Sunday night. If your travels ever have you in Hot Springs on Sunday evenings from 6-9, come hear a phenominal jazz guitarist at the Brau.

My prayers and thoughts are with Dave today as he really starts to knuckle down for a vacation to Disney. He needs to drop weight too and he has to get smaller so we can sit by each other at concerts without touching each other all the freakin time. And since McCartney will tour again later this year, Dave needs to drop. Plus the Police, Van Halen and even some rumored tourings of the Led.

In summation: I have lost 88 pounds and hit my first three weight loss goals. I am, dare I say it, en fuego.

So Long Pal

2007-02-14T08:15:00.000-08:00

Right now iTunes is downloading the two episodes of 24 that aired on Monday so I can watch them tonight. I do not have cable so I have to either get someone to tape tv shows for me, download them illegally for me, or buy the shows on disc after they air at least one season. But there is something about 24 that makes it very, very difficult to wait. I must see what happens with Jack and his dad. The Jack Bauer Power Hour is important.

Right now I am listening to Al Dexter and his Troopers singing "So long pal..." I dig me some old time western music. Al Dexter, Spade Cooley, Johnny Bond and His Red River Valley Boys, Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys, The Sons of the Pioneers, Lefty Frizzell and Leon McAulffe and His Western Swing Band all appeal on a cold, gray day.

Right now I am finishing up my notes for tonight's handout for the students. The cool thing is that yesterday and today were good days with God in private. I hope that I will be able to take the students in worship tonight where I have been privately.

Right now I am also 5 pounds lighter. It seems that the plateau is gone. I am now down 84 pounds since I started and I am only 3 pounds away from the third goal weight. That is really encouraging.

That is what's happening right now in my world.

The Long Run

2007-02-07T08:50:00.000-08:00

I have spent the past week (and also this week) getting ready for three weekends: our Freedom Weekend and two more disciple nows for guys in Oklahoma. Freedom is just a fancy name for Disciple Now. It is a crazy busy time.

Driving back and forth to Tulsa and then to Weatherford (I have no idea what I was thinking) is really limiting the amount of time I can work out. Things are slowing down for me. I need to be able to spend an hour working out each day. When I travel, I struggle to find 25 or 30 minutes. And it is been a struggle eating as well. When I control what I eat and where I eat, I do well. When I am at the mercy of someone else outside of family, it is really a crapshoot. So I am hoping that the slow down will continue one more week and then I can get back on track.

All that said, I lost weight since the last weigh in. I dropped another three pounds. I hovered around losing four pounds but I just didn't exercise enough. But losing any weight is a good thing. It took me 30 years or so to acquire all this mass. I am not going to lose it all in four months. I must be patient.

So if you add in the total, I have lost 79 pounds. Eight away from the next weight loss goal. I am hoping that I can make that goal in the next two weeks. But I am not holding my breath for it since I am spending too much time on the road and away from home. But losing weight each week is a great feeling. I just want to be skinny now.

So far: down 79 pounds.

Crazy, Man, Crazy

2007-01-31T08:31:00.000-08:00

I have had an interesting week. Things are really busy right now at the work place. I am in the midst of a stretch filled with two disciple nows in Oklahoma, one Freedom Weekend here, a trip to Chicago, coaching my 3rd and 4th grade boys basketball team for Upward Basketball, bible study preps, teaching each week on Mondays and Wednesdays, preaching on a Sunday night...

Sometimes things get going so fast, I really have to force myself to practice the discipline of stillness. Today that is what I am doing. Practicing that discipline as I spend time with the Father. I need to just be still. Not rest. Just clear my mind of seventeen things that are swimming around relentlessly. And I need some people to stay the heck out of my office and stop showing me samples of paint, colors for carpet, curriculum and basically stop telling me the same stories. Ugh.

Well, diet news. Dropped five pounds since last weigh in. That brings the grand total up to 76 pounds. I have lost 76 pounds and here is what everyone says: "You can really see it in your face and neck." Apparently I was walking around with a big weeble wobble head. I never knew this. I thought I was fat all over. Maybe I am losing weight from the top down. Start with the head and move south. Most people brag about dropping inches on their waist line when they diet. I guess I should be bragging on my shrinking hat size. Before you know it, I will be wearing a visor without being so self-conscious. Oh the day when I can wear a normal size bandana or a do-rag. Before I had to fold up a beach towel seventeen times. Now a normal "kerchief" sized piece of cloth may just do the trick. Now I can shop for head wear outside of the table cloth section. You can really tell in my face and neck. Maybe the fact that you can actually see a difference between the two helps. I guess I used to be some Jabba-like creature, where the head and neck were just one mass of flesh. That explains the hate from the wookies in church.

Total weight loss: 76 pounds and at least three hat sizes.

Get It Like You Like It

2007-01-24T08:33:00.000-08:00

Well, another week. Another battle. More working out. Still eating less. I have weighed in 13 times now. 12 out of those thirteen I have lost weight. I feel great. I am sure I look better.

Two days ago I dug around in my closet, trying on clothes I literally have not worn in years. It was pretty exciting. Also a bit sad. Many of the clothes were bought at the height of other fashion trends. Luckily some of them are still nice. But some of them...whoa...

I lost another four pounds since the last weigh in bringing the grand total to a whopping 71 pounds. I am now at the same weight I was when I moved to Hot Springs about seven years ago. The next official weight loss goal is 16 pounds away. I am hoping that within a month's time I can hit that goal as well. And I am about halfway to the fourth weight loss goal (another 51 pounds) which is what I weighed my senior year in college.

In other news, as the weight drops, I feel a lot more confidence in myself. I feel like I can teach with more authority. I feel more at ease around friends I have not seen in years. And I even feel more comfortable with myself around the ladies.

In other news: I am a documentary freak. It is one of the blessings of God that I live in Hot Springs because they have a great documentary film festival each year where we get to see some of the great docs out there. One of the greatest series of documentaries is Michael Apted's Up Series. It follows 14 British people over the span of their lives beginning with them as 7 year olds in 1963 and continuing with a new film updating them each seven years. About two years ago they finished 49 Up. These seven movies are the most interesting studies I have ever seen. You can totally see glimpses of the adults to come in the seven year olds. And you can still see the spark of the seven year olds in the adults. It is just amazing.

Also, 24 season six: to sum it up - Jack is back. He doesn't want to be back. But that doesn't stop him from biting one man's throat, shooting another man in the throat and choking and torturing a family member. This is FAR AND AWAY the best drama series on TV today. 24, Heroes and The Office and Rob and Big are the best shows on tv now.

I miss Arrested Development. Where else can you hear a line like this: "It's an illusion Michael. Tricks are something that whores do for money." Awesome.

So to sum up: 24 just killer stuff.
Up Series worth at least a rental, provided you start in order at 7 Up.
Rob and Big do work.
Heroes is starting to come together.
The Office is just so funny.
Craig misses Arrested Development.
Lost 71 pounds so far.

Almost...

2007-01-17T13:36:00.000-08:00

I am now looking seriously at some significant numbers as far as weight loss is concerned. I am still 20 or so pounds away from the third goal weight. But I am seven pounds away from losing 75 pounds. I am also five pounds away from being the lightest I have been since I moved to Arkansas almost six and a half years ago.

So that gives me motivation. I am also trying hard to hit the third goal weight by our big event coming up in March called Freedom Weekend. If I can work it hard enough I might be able to drop a smooth one hundred pounds since last Freedom Weekend. That is amazing! I am so pumped and excited about the prospect of people who have not seen me in a year being totally amazed at the weight loss.

So, after today's weigh in (the twelfth weigh in) I lost another five pounds bringing the total to 67 pounds. The weight is literally melting off of my face and neck. I can now fit into clothes I have not worn in over five years. That is exciting.

It is a good week.

Do Yourself a Favor

2007-01-15T08:33:00.000-08:00

Robert Randolph and the Family Band are one of my top five fave music acts (Los Beatles, The Genius Ray Charles, RR&TF, Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals, Big Smith). They released a new album last October (available on iTunes with a bonus jam song). Amazing. They are still the best of funk, soul, gospel fusion, blues edge band out there. And they absolutely rock live in concert. In fact, they will be at Cain's and George's Majestic in February. Check them out if you like something that sounds like a mixture of Parliament, Stevie Wonder, Clapton, classic Rick James, Lennie Kravitz, Sly Stone and old fashioned gospel funk. I highly recommend the songs "Thrill of it" and "Ain't Nothing Wrong with That."

Lost another few pounds bringing the grand total all the way to 62 pounds. There are some significant weight loss goals (not one of the five biggies) on the horizon soon. When I drop another ten pounds it will the be the lightest I have been since I moved to Arkansas. That is almost seven years ago. So that is pretty significant.

Keep me in your prayers. And pray for Jack Bauer too. Another long day in store for him.

The Slowing

2007-01-09T10:56:00.000-08:00

So, before Christmas (and a two week vacation) I was really dropping weight. Then I decided that over the break I would enjoy food with my friends and family. I didn't lose or gain any weight. So, tomorrow is a new weigh in and I am hoping to be about three pounds lighter. I am now starting to look towards the next weight loss goal, which is thirty pounds away. Keep praying for me.

In the last few days I have been surprised to be contacted by two high school friends. One was a phone call. The other was a surprise visit at my office. In the past few months I have had more contact with my hometown friends than I have had in the past six years. Who knew. I am beginning to wonder if this was a happy treat and blessing from God or if there is more behind it. God works in the number three in my life. Everything seems to come and happen in threes. A few months ago at a restaurant in Tulsa, I saw my high school sunday school teacher for two years. So with these three connections, I have to really start connecting with what God is telling me and try to see how my hometown ties into it or flavors what God is up to.

In other news, Florida is crazy good. They absolutely undressed Ohio State. It makes me positive that a four game playoff system is a must. If USC does not lose to UCLA than the Trojans are playing OSU for the title. And clearly, Florida played like the best team in the nation last night. USC, Florida, OSU, LSU, Boise State should have all been in the hunt for a national title. Today we all feel the power of the Gator Chomp!

So, to sum up: holding steady at being down 57 pounds since the start of the diet. Been holding steady at that weight for about three weeks though. Need something to happen soon.

50 By Christmas

2006-12-20T05:42:00.000-08:00

Even though I never wrote it down, I had sort of a silent goal of dropping 50 pounds by Christmas. And I was hoping to hit my second goal weight by Jan. 1st.

Since the last weigh in I have dropped another five pounds, bringing the overall total up to 54 (BAM SUCKER) and specifically 42 since the start of the diet. I am really beginning to notice a difference in how I look. I even enjoy spending a little more time without my shirt! Soon I will be a sexy beast.

One drawback to losing weight: since some of the fat is melting off, back hair has been able to creep through. That is discouraging. Back hair. Ugh.

I am also three measly pounds away from nailing that second weight loss goal. And I have one weigh in left in 2006. Pray me up over the holiday. Seriously. I am lighter than I have been in a few years. And I am learning a lot about weight loss.

And I am learning even more about myself. Soon, the ladies will be all over me. Take a number, sister. Take a freakin' number. Chicks will be charging me like a bull charges a toreador; like Paris Hilton charges her Visa Platinum; like the Knicks charge Carmelo...and finally, like a fat dude charges a Beach Boy.

In other news, Paul McCartney has hired Bruce "Tubesock" Johnston to be his head of security on his 2007 Fall Tour. Apparently he was impressed with how quickly Tube socked it to fans who crave contact with a real 60's idol. (That paragraph plus the last sentence in the previous paragraph is just for you, Dave)

In TOTO: -54 pounds overall / -5 since last weigh in / -42 since start of focused diet.

Navigate by a New Star

2006-12-13T08:09:00.000-08:00

In a line from his song "Four Chambered Heart" Tom Russell mentions how people follow misguided wise men who navigate by the wrong star. As we think about the holiday season, that sentence keeps coming back to me.

For so long I guided my physical well-being by the wrong star. Now I am trying to make big life change. It means setting a new star as my focus. That has been the most difficult but most rewarding decision of the entire change.

Another good week. Lost a surprising five pounds. I thought I had maintained but in preparation for the 5K this Saturday, I started walking an extra mile each day. I think that helps. Also a local doctor gave me another way to calculate how many calories I burn. If I walk a fifteen minute mile (which I do, now...not at the beginning - I whined for about seventeen, eighteen minutes) I multiply my weight x .042. That shows me how many calories I am burning per minute while walking that pace. Then I simply multiply (my weight x .042) x how many minutes I walk.

I suppose the correct algebraic equation would be (my current weight x .042)how many minutes walked.

So far I have lost 49 pounds overall, 37 since the start of the focused diet. Man, one pound away from the big 5-0. Next week, I will have lost over half a hundred. Wowsers. Keep praying for me.

Hard, Ain't it Hard

2006-12-06T07:58:00.000-08:00

Well, my feet are sore. They hurt from walking everyday. The problem is I am sort of addicted to the walking each day. I HAVE to do it, regardless of when I get the chance to. Sometimes I walk early. Sometimes at lunch. I have even gotten that last mile or two in at around 10PM. But the walking is good. I am up to a brisk two miles each day. In another few weeks, I will add another half mile. I am even seriously considering entering a 5K (of course I would be walking) that is coming up in town.

Woody Guthrie (another famous Okie, not that I am famous...) wrote the song that this post is titled for. It is hard to keep at it. To constantly be counting calories and making sure I am walking. But it pays off. Sometimes the weight loss surprises you. Today was my sixth weigh in. Twice out of the weigh ins I have been disappointed. The first one which revealed once and for all just how big I was and the fourth one where I lost a scant three pounds. The good news was at least I was losing each week, even if it wasn't at the pace I was desiring.

People ask me if I am on weight watchers a lot. When I tell them I am counting calories, they assume it is close to the same diet. But I do think that my approach is much better for me. With weight watchers, as you lose weight you are forced to eat less food, as you lose overall points. The goal is to eventually get you down to where you are not eating so much, I am sure. But my diet allows me to eat more as I go along. By cutting WAAAAYYY back on calories early on, I afforded myself the opportunity to systematically add calories, thus adding food, to my daily diet. Eventually I will be able to eat about three times what I am eating now because my regular activities and my work out will allow it. How many chumps on weight watchers can say THAT?

So this week: Good quiet times in Luke, by the way. I haven't really mentioned much on here in the way of the God stuff because I journal that and it has been very personal lately between me and God. So I save that for me. But I wanted you to know that prayer and meditation have really unlocked a new way of life. You should think on it.

I lost another 6 pounds this past week. That brings the grand total up to 44. And puts me at dropping 32 since I started the new approach to changing my life. Today is a good day.

Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime

2006-11-29T08:06:00.000-08:00

Ah, I dig the Christmas music. I have about 24 hours worth of various and wonderful Christmas music on my iTunes. I listen to it on a random shuffle and always delight in the various music. After the weight info, I will give you my fave Christmas music and maybe you too can enjoy what I enjoy.

Last week, including the Thanksgiving holiday, I dropped 5 pounds, bringing the grand total up to 26 pounds since Nov. 1st, and 38 since around September. This week I started walking 2 miles a week and my physical trainer gave me a nice way to determine how many calories I burn when I walk. If I keep a brisk pace I simply multiply my current weight x .53. If I just sort of meander-walk, I multiply my weight x .20. The more calories I burn, the faster I drop the weight. Hope those help you out. The numbers are the same for you, just put your own weight in there x either .53 or .20. If you walk briskly you can burn a good number of calories a day.

My fave Christmas music: The McLaughlin Brothers First Christmas: I know two of them, so that helps. But they actually do sing pretty well and I enjoy all the songs on the disc.
- The Beach Boys Merry Christmas From the Beach Boys: This is a great album with some great songs.
- Diana Krall Christmas Songs - She has the great dark brown, smoky quality to her voice. Loaded with smooth soul.
- Sufjan Stevens Songs for Christmas - I really like Sufjan. His Christianity is revealed in this great, beautiful album
- James Brown The Christmas Collection - No Christmas season should be complete without the hardest working man in showbusiness imploring Santa Claus to go to the ghetto. GREAT album
- Vince Guaraldi Trio A Charlie Brown Christmas - Maybe the greatest jazz collection of Christmas themed songs ever. The soundtrack to the great Christmas special. I can see Linus now.
- Various A Motown Christmas - Great stuff from the Supremes, The Temps, Jackson 5 and more.
- Phil Spector A Christmas Gift to you from Phil Spector - back in the 60's with the Ronettes and other stars from Phil's stable. The great wall of sound sounds great especially at Christmas
- Harry Connick Jr. Harry for the Holidays and When My Heart Finds Christmas - GREAT! HFTH may be his best album ever, not just best Christmas album
- Anything with Bing, Andy Williams, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Johnny Mathis or the Trans Siberian Orchestra.

Enjoy. Happy holidays.

Up Yours, Turkey

2006-11-27T15:03:00.000-08:00

"Everything is all right. We've prayed today. Everything is OK. We've played today." - The Who, from the song Mike Post Theme.

When you decide to have a life change, you have to have enough room to play. That room seems to be provided for whenever I pray. Prayer has been the key for me. It strengthens me. I have developed new reserves for discipline and self control. Because I am realizing how social an animal eating really is.

Think about it. Most of the social time you have with people is around a table. I have had to over-compensate with my people time. It means saying no to food but yes to hanging out. I have had to work hard to not become some hermit sneaking around a low-calorie kingdom, away from the people eating things on white bread and loaded with sugar.

Now when people see me they ask two questions: How much weight have you lost? This is the first question. It makes me feel good. Before people would patronize me with asking me if I was losing weight. Most of the time it was because I looked slightly different than I did the last time they saw me. Usually the reason for the difference was a hair cut, a new shirt, ironed clothes. But when they ask how much I have lost, I realize that the weight loss is showing. Before we get to the second question, let me get on a soapbox quickly and then I will dismount it almost as quickly...

When you see a big person who is DEFINATELY losing weight, ask them about it. It means a lot. First of all, it seems like you care, regardless of whether or not that is the case. It also provides encouragement. Just walk up and say, something like this: "Wow, you are looking good! How much weight have you lost? That is great! Keep it up!" You can even ask HOW they are doing it. But that is it. Just be happy. Christians betray themselves as the evil, vile and dreaded Self-Righteous Skinny when they add this caveat of crapfulness: "Don't you feel better?" or "I am so glad you decided to get healthy and do that. I was worried about you." Don't say those things. Big people know they are big. It is not a surprise. Of course we feel better. We don't want to think about how awful we used to be. And don't treat fat people like they are one flight of stairs away from a triple bypass and heart attack. Be worried about yourself each time you fly or travel a long distance. If you MUST continue to make small talk, say something about how soon they will have to buy new clothes. Back to the questions.

How much have I lost? Since August it is 35 pounds. Since November 1st it is 21 pounds. I even lost weight over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. So, up yours turkey! And mashed potatoes. And gravy. And stuffing. Man, will I be glad when the weight is all gone and I can up the calorie intake because I am doing more of a muscle building and toning workout instead of just all cardiovascular work.

What are you doing? I walk everyday. Everyday. No days off from the walking. Today I started walking two miles. Before that it was a mile and a half. I love the walking. It is becoming my favorite part of the day. I think a lot. Pray a lot. Listen to great music. And go into my own world. Like Alan Shore says, I enjoy solitude. I just prefer it around other people. And I am eating less. Revolutionary concept, I know. Eating a lot more fish. Chicken too. Lean steak. Tons and tons of veggies. Some good fiber based products. And everything else is low calorie. Pudding, yogurts, cereal, waterwaterwaterwater, wraps, tortillas, and a healthy supply of vegetarian things. All in all it is great. I love it and am convinced I can live this way forever. That is what it took. Just changing the way I think.

Soon all you self-righteous skinny people will be envious and I will then be in a position to look negatively on YOUR health. And you know what? I won't do it. I will just encourage you. But when I get home, I will take the pins out of the make-shift voodoo dolls I have more than likely made of you during fits where I wanted ice cream and couldn't have it while you feasted on it in front of me. Jerks.

Jacob's Ladder

2006-11-15T08:14:00.000-08:00

"Step by step, rung by rung. Higher and higher. Step by step. One by one. We're climbing Jacob's ladder." - Huey Lewis

I have to be honest. The numbers can be deceiving. I actually started incorporating exercise and a revised diet back in the summer. I was not all that faithful to it like I have been the past two weeks but I still watched what I took and in and made extra effort to be active. I lost about ten pounds from September and October. So, my total weight loss up to this weigh in had been 22 pounds. But from the start of this effort to get healthy I had lost 12 pounds until this morning's weigh in.

Now that song by Huey Lewis and the News means more. The water weight is gone and now I am into the heavy lifting of weight loss. After a weekend where I wasn't as active as I should have been, I regained some ground Sunday-Tuesday. I have not missed a day of walking since Nov. 1st. I actually look forward to it each day, strangely enough. It is a half hour or so where I zone into my own little head space and think, listen, sweat and get to ignore the world. For a minister, that is a blessing. I thought I would hate the walking aspect of getting healthy. But each day the mile and a half gets easier. And we add a half mile in December to make it a full two. I walk the last quarter faster than the first quarter. If there was a tubby relay race, I could be the anchor!

Keep praying for me. I am going to be on limited calories for a while until my weight is closer to an ideal weight for my height. So I could be in this mode for another six to eight to twelve months. Then it changes to a modified Atkins regiment for life. I can never be what I was again. Now the only regret is wondering why I waited so long to get serious about getting healthy. I have some great supporters in my weight loss. Bone checks in each day. Wallace suffers through lunch with me most days. Lloyd has sent me some emails and cards and follows up on Sundays. Mike dropped some info by to make sure I was going about losing the weight in a healthy way. These four and the prayers of countless others have really been an encouragement.

Weight loss to date: -18 pounds. Lost six this week(which exceeds my weekly goal of five this past week! woo hoo! if I can reign in this weekend a little bit better, I may even make next week's goal!!!)

The Party of FDR

2006-11-13T07:54:00.000-08:00

I am a moderate Democrat. I know, hard to believe. I do not vote the party line. I look at the people running and make informed decisions that reflect my faith and my conscience. In the last election here in AR, I did not vote democrat up and down the ticket. In fact, my votes were split.

In AR, under a GOP gov. who in my opinion should get the GOP nod for veep in 08 (McCain/ Huckabee), I even voted for the losing cause for GOP (I knew Asa Hutchinson would lose but the incredible financial growth of our state under GOP policy was too hard to NOT vote for...how did Asa NOT marry himself to THAT growth by promising to continue GOP policy??? The man was simply out-campaigned by Mike Beebe).

I also like to poke and prod at my GOP friends whenever the President says something like "I'm the decider." I admit, I paint the GOP with a broad stroke as being moronic right-wing nutjobs. And they paint me as being a yellow-dog democrat. I let them. I think it is cute that most typical republicans cannot name any other democrats outside of Ted Kennedy, the Clintons, Howard Dean ("HEEEEAYYYAAAAHHHHH!") and Mike Dukakis. But I did find this email humorous and thought I would share it. You republicans are so cute.

DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION 2008 AGENDA:
7:00PM - Opening Flag Burning
7:15 - Pledge of Allegiance to the UN
7:30 - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:45-8:00 - Non-religious prayer and worship: Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton
8:00 - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:05 - Ceremonial tree hugging
8:15-8:30 - Gay Wedding: Barney Frank presiding
8:30 - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:35 - Free Saddam Rally - Cindy Sheehan, Susan Sarandon
9:00 - Keynote Speech: Proper Etiquette for Surrender: French President Jacques Chirac
9:15 - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
9:20 - Collection to benefit Osama bin Laden Kidney Transplant Fund
9:30 - Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters in Guantanamo Bay: Sean Penn
9:40 - Why I Hate the Military: A Short talk with Bill Clinton
9:45 - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
9:50 - The Dan Rather Truth in Broadcasting Award presented by Michael Moore
9:55 - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
10:00 - How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers: Howard Dean
10:30 - Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
11:00 - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 - Al Gore reinvents internet
11:15 - Our Troops are Dumb War Criminals: John Kerry
11:30 - Coronation of Ms. Rodham-Clinton
11:45 - Ted Kennedy closes with a toast
12:00 - Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

2006-11-08T08:54:00.000-08:00

Well we are into the diet. And that is the last time we will call it a diet. It is not a diet. It is a life change. I have to make these things changes last. I cannot do this for half a year and then go back to where I was. I can never be that guy again. I like Dave Mac's name, calling it Project 413. I think I will call it that too. Besides, he doesn't have it trade marked or anything. Dave is rare. The bright Christian mind that doesn't want financial gain for the free blessings God bestows on him. Too bad Warren, Hybels and everyone else isn't like that. Heaven forbid Christians share for free the lessons, teachings, resources and other things that God freely gave them. Instead, if you can package it, make a buck...why not???

But enough of that. I think the weight I started with was inaccurate. I weighed in today and had to re-weigh four times because i had lost 22 pounds. So I had to hunt out the original scale and it was off by about ten pounds, give or take. So I am STILL FREAKING EXCITED!!! I have lost 12 pounds so far. When I weighed, after it sank in, I did a naked booty dance of joy in the privacy of my own powder room. I do feel better too. I have been walking each day or playing basketball. For the first time ever in my life, I have exercised for ten straight days. And I am really enjoying the food I am eating. I know the folks at Taco Bell and McDonalds and Burger King and Chick Fil A are trying to find out what happened to big Craig. Screw you, fast food whores. I am a new man. Bam.

Keep me in your prayers. And celebrate with me as I continue to dance over the first round of water weight. Soon, however, the heavy lifting of dieting will begin. Give me another week or two of losing water weight. Then the real work begins.

So far: -12 pounds.

"It's time to make a stand...dirty deeds done dirt cheap." AC/DC

Just Like Starting Over

2006-11-01T08:15:00.000-08:00

I woke up way too early. Had my first glass of water. Because the body needs lots of water and it had been about six or seven hours since my last glass. Always gotta drink that water.

Weighed myself to officially start the life change. I refuse to call it a diet because a diet implies that when it is over I can simply go back to eating whatever. I cannot do that anymore. Once the first six months of this stage is over, I begin eating from a modified atkins plan. And that is the plan I will stick to for the rest of my life. So it is not a diet. It is a life change.

But these next six months will be a bear. I am setting my mind to it. I am claiming scripture over it (Phil. 4:13 a la Surf Daddy Mac and Gal. 2:20). And I am slowly beginning the adjustment. For these next six months I am on a low low low cal intake. I am allowing myself between 800-1200 calories a day. So protein shakes, bran cereal with skim milk, subway subs, green veggies and low cal yogurts will the become the staples for the next half a year. It isn't so much of a can I do it as much as it is a I have to do it sort of thing.

So as I was toting most of my stuff out to the car to workout and make my office more life-change friendly, I placed the headphones on. On my iTunes on my phone I heard this great John Lennon classic and I really, honestly felt that God was communicating to me through it saying that we are starting over, starting new today. And my head was lifted a little.

Pray for me. If you want to know how much the starting point was, email me at craigsmithfbc@hotmail.com and I will fill you in on where we are starting and that way you can either be amazed at the weight loss or disappointed at the moron trying to lose it.

I will try to post a few updates each week for all eyes who read this. Help me with prayer, accountibility and accessibility. I need people to not just ask me how it is going. I need people to be available in case I have a mini-melt down.

"Our life together, is precious together. We have grown. We have grown. It'll be just like starting over." - John Lennon

One Week To Go

2006-10-24T12:09:00.000-07:00

So, on November 1st I am starting a new diet. Actually it is not a diet so much as it is a life change. I have been reading for about two months. I met with a doctor to discuss what I should do.

We settled on a good plan that I am making a six month commitment to. I am also continuing to work out (well, to walk - we decided that a few months of strict cardio-vascular work is best for right now). People get the wrong idea about my size.

I have not been this large all my life. Just since I went to college. I really blew it. I have been able to figure out what all happened in my life to help me gain so much weight. And I have established some prayer support and accountibility. Plus just being able to really prepare and focus in on a diet, on a plan, has really helped my mindset. I need to do something now. I cannot wait.

So, I am allowed to have between 800-1200 calories a day. Hopefully we will see some dramatic results soon. That coupled with a LOT of water and walking and basketball twice a week will begin a process of reshaping my life and my self. Pray me up, especially you all who are also dealing with a battle of the bulge.

I also highly recommend My Big Fat Greek Diet by Dr. Nick Yphantides. He was a medical health expert who weighed 467 pounds. He lost over 200 in eight months. Now he is down to below 200 and has reshaped his entire life and existance.

My goals are to see the life change, get things back in order, glorify God. I also hope to shut some mouths of some pretty miserable "fatists" who surround me daily. Churches are loaded with the self-righteous skinny. These are the same people who equate fat with lazy. Not EVERY fat guy is lazy. Some of us work VERY hard at what we do. We just eat too much. And we don't work out enough.

And Dave, if you read this, give me a call. You are mainly the only one who reads this blog. I will continue to write here because I know you will help hold me acocuntable as well. I write over on my myspace. Mainly I need help looking at a reward for the six month mark. Any suggestions?

Is It Unpardonable?

2006-07-24T14:08:00.000-07:00

So, I suffered through crazy heat to see some of my favorite Christian music acts (let's be honest, the only ones I like now are Third Day and Tobymac plus a smattering of praise and worship guys like Crowder and Charlie Hall). Tobymac and Third Day were in concert on consecutive nights at Six Flags over Flaming Asphalt.

The first night was amazing. Tobymac is the best live act in Christian music, hands down. DC Talk was the best live and now Tobymac proves he was the talent in that group. I stood the entire time. Sure it was at night but it was still hot. And I never stopped feeling the groove. He did every great song. He didn't waste much time. He closed with his biggest song ever (JESUS FREAK) and his encore kicked with two killer songs (GET THE PARTY STARTED and EXTREME DAYS). Exactly what you are supposed to do as the headliner.

And then the next night Third Day dropped the ball. Now when I go to a concert I always have a list of about five songs that I would be thrilled to hear. Four of them are usually my favorite by that artist and one is always the biggest hit they have had. I was totally expecting them to perform Consuming Fire which is their most recognizable hit, coincidentally their first. I waited. It didn't come. They closed with some forgettable song. Then they came out for the encore. And performed their song Come Together.

They never performed any of the five. Not even THE song. So here is my question: is it an unpardonable sin for a group to perform for over an hour and a half and NOT perform their most recognizable song?

I am sure they get bored performing that same song over and over and over ad nauseum. But I bet they don't get bored spending those royalty checks that pour in because of the song's radio play and download fees and even disc sales. So play the stinking song. I understand that when someone tours they are doing it to plug a new disc. So play your five or six new songs that nobody knows and throw in your biggie to placate fans.

Can you imagine seeing Eric Clapton and him NOT performing Layla? The Beach Boys not performing Good Vibrations? John Mellencamp not performing Jack and Diane? Paul McCartney not performing Hey Jude? John Fogerty not performing Proud Mary? The Rolling Stones not performing Satisfaction? Mercy Me not performing I Can Only Imagine? Tobymac not performing Jesus Freak? Garth Brooks not performing Friends in Low Places? James Taylor not performing Fire and Rain? Neil Diamond not performing Sweet Caroline? The Eagles not performing Desperado? The Doobie Brothers not performing Black Water? George Jones not performing He Stopped Loving Her Today? Willie Nelson not performing On The Road Again? Three Dog Night not performing Joy to the World? Of course not.

Now I know those are big names who perform a lot and you have heard of most or all of those songs. But this is Third Day. They have some nice songs. You may not know many or any of them off the top of your head, but if I played you some songs, you would recognize many of the songs. And there is no doubt in my mind that you have heard Consuming Fire if you have listened to CCM in the past fifteen years. So Third Day NOT performing this is akin to Kansas not performing Carry on Wayward Son. Or like Foghat NOT banging out Slow Ride. Or George Thorogood not playing Bad to the Bone.

Enough ranting. What do you think? Am I being a bit too picky, selfish, fickle and fair-weather in my fanship? Is it too much to ask the headliners to play THE song when you shell out over 30 bucks a ticket and stand around in 100+ degrees to see them? I think not.

Boo on you, Third Day. Boo again, I say. Boo.

The Essentials

2006-06-30T13:09:00.000-07:00

Regardless of how I come across or what I may tell you in person, I really am not a music expert. I know a lot of trivia about music. I know a lot of artists. I spent too much money on my iPod and the music on it. But I don't really know that much about music.

That being said, I do like a LOT of music. Polka, bluegrass, heavy metal, swing, blues, jazz, pop, rock, country, classical, broadway - I like it all. I have a very ecclectic taste as far as music goes. I thought that since I have such an obscenely large music collection, I could give you some essential songs to add to your collection, if you don't have them already. Here are some that I really like.

QUEEN - Crazy Little Thing Called Love
The Doors - Love Her Madly
CCR - Travelin' Band
Donovan - Season of the Witch
Charlie Gracie - Fabulous
Ruth Brown - 5-10-15 Hours
Billy Ward and the Dominoes - Sixty Minute Man
Bruce Springsteen - Old Dan Tucker
Big Mama Thornton - Hound Dog
Ray Charles - Mess Around
The Cars - My Best Friend's Girl
The Clash - London's Burning
The Boomtown Rats - I Don't Like Mondays
Blondie - Call Me
The Band - The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down
Jimmy Ruffin - What Becomes of the Broken-Hearted?
The Temptations - I Wish it Rain Down
Eurythmics - Missionary Man
INXS - Devil Inside
U2 - Where the Streets Have No Name
AC/DC - Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
Ben Harper - Brown Eyed Blues
Keb' Mo' - America the Beautiful
Muddy Waters - Got My Mojo Working
Eric Clapton - They're Red Hot
Brian Wilson - Love and Mercy
Paul McCartney - Monkberry Moon Delight

There. That is more than enough to get you started. Enjoy. Feedback? Did I leave anything that is essential to someone else off the list?

The Great Beatles Songs: I Saw Her Standing There

2006-06-15T13:44:00.000-07:00

#1. This is it. Here it comes. #1. In my humble opinion, this is the greatest Beatles song of all time. I Saw Her Standing There from the Please, Please Me album. It is a breathless, all-out rocker that they had performing to great acclaim for years.

The Beatles had this in their live repertoire in Hamburg in 1962. It's original title was simply "17." It is a Paul song with some touch up from John. John helped Paul change the line "Well, she was just seventeen and she'd never been a beauty queen" (which he wrote down in a van one night in early 62) to a complete throwaway since they deemed the original line worthless. It would become "you know what I mean." It would become the heart of the song and the cornerstone of the album. Nothing before (or since) would pack as much excitement into a song, with A Hard Day's Night and Helter Skelter coming close. The song soars from the opening, Paul's count-in intro. The Beatles would record the entire album in one day and this would be the song that they would pour everything into (with a raspy John tearing his throat up for the finale one take brilliance of Twist and Shout) this song: raspy, suggestive vocals; twangy, rhythmic guitars; hand claps; those famous falsetto ooohs and a running bass line Paul says he "borrowed" from a Chuck Berry song. For almost three minutes, the boys rock out.

This would be the main song to usher in Beatlemania. Many people credit songs like All My Loving and From Me to You as being the other two songs. But there is no denying the importance of this song and the Beatles fondness for it. It was a live mainstay and continues to be for Paul in his live performances. It is certainly a crowd favorite. It has been covered countless times.

The greatest tribute for this song, and some strong evidence for its greatness, comes in the mid 70's. John Lennon was out with Yoko for about a year in 1974. He called it his "lost weekend." While he was drinking and partying a year with Harry Nilsson, he cruised into the recording studio for a memorable session with Elton John. Elton gave Lennon the confidence to record a throwaway number John had written called Whatever Gets You Through the Night. In return John asked Elton to cover one of his own Beatles songs. When Elton asked which song, John asked him to record Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, seeing as how he wasn't that pleased with the original recording. They recorded both. Elton guaranteed Whatever... would be a #1. Lennon was not so sure. They made a deal. If it DID top the charts, John Lennon would join Elton John LIVE on stage in NYC during the tour Elton would use to support the album he was recording. Long story semi-shortened: the song did go #1 and Lennon kept his bet. He appeared live during a Thanksgiving concert to perform three songs. Of course they would do Whatever and include Lucy in the Sky as well. They wanted one more song to perform. A nice, tidy three song set. And there was one song John wanted to sing. He would intro the song by saying it was a song written by an "estranged fiance of mine called Paul." Then Lennon and Elton performed I Saw Her Standing There. It is captured on Elton's album Here There.

Even John Lennon recognized the simple, rocking brilliance of this song. It didn't matter that Paul wrote it. It was a great song. One of the greatest songs of all time, ever. And simply the greatest Beatles song ever. It may not carry the political message of All You Need is Love or Revolution. It may not be as beautiful as Something or Yesterday. It may not be as groundbreaking as Eleanor Rigby or Norwegian Wood. But it is a great, pure, energetic rocker. And everyone knows it, likes it and can recognize it from Paul's memorable count-in.

"One, two, three, FOUR!"