Not Any Ordinary Tuesday

Today is my mom's birthday. She is either 62 or 64. But you don't ask people that sort of question, eh?

Dad's birthday would have been back on the 5th. He would have been 64. My big plan when he turned 60 was to wake him up with The Beatles song "When I'm Sixty-Four" off of Sgt. Peppers. But dad never saw 64. And my grandpa turned 95 last Friday. My grandma Smith made it to 94. And Grandpa Coldiron is 95.

And today is one year to the day that Ty shot himself in the parking lot here at the church. Today I will end my day by reading scripture from Ty's baptism bible that I found upstairs a day after his funeral. So it is a weird day. A day where I want to sit back and listen to something like Keb'Mo' and then Devo. A day where I cannot wait for mom to get home and listen to the birthday message that is sure to crack her up. And a day where I think about how my dad and I were able to say everything we needed to say to each other and how my brothers never took that opportunity.

So it is an awful and great day. As I get older, as I grow and as I shrink back, I have more of those sort of days.

Lord, surround me with your mercy today. Thanks for everything; the cool breeze which helped me sleep last night without turning on my AC, the fact that my mom is around for another birthday, the memories I have of my dad, the fog that has lifted surrounding the death of too many teenagers. And thanks for the lighter moments I am allowed each day. Laughing with Drew, Colby and Lee lifts my head. It carries me to better places, places where I can completely focus on you. So father, use me up, wear me out, pour me out. Thanks for filling me to beyond full. Help me to swing out into eternity on the hope found in Christ dying for my sins. You are too good to someone like me. - Amen