Up Yours, Turkey

"Everything is all right. We've prayed today. Everything is OK. We've played today." - The Who, from the song Mike Post Theme.

When you decide to have a life change, you have to have enough room to play. That room seems to be provided for whenever I pray. Prayer has been the key for me. It strengthens me. I have developed new reserves for discipline and self control. Because I am realizing how social an animal eating really is.

Think about it. Most of the social time you have with people is around a table. I have had to over-compensate with my people time. It means saying no to food but yes to hanging out. I have had to work hard to not become some hermit sneaking around a low-calorie kingdom, away from the people eating things on white bread and loaded with sugar.

Now when people see me they ask two questions: How much weight have you lost? This is the first question. It makes me feel good. Before people would patronize me with asking me if I was losing weight. Most of the time it was because I looked slightly different than I did the last time they saw me. Usually the reason for the difference was a hair cut, a new shirt, ironed clothes. But when they ask how much I have lost, I realize that the weight loss is showing. Before we get to the second question, let me get on a soapbox quickly and then I will dismount it almost as quickly...

When you see a big person who is DEFINATELY losing weight, ask them about it. It means a lot. First of all, it seems like you care, regardless of whether or not that is the case. It also provides encouragement. Just walk up and say, something like this: "Wow, you are looking good! How much weight have you lost? That is great! Keep it up!" You can even ask HOW they are doing it. But that is it. Just be happy. Christians betray themselves as the evil, vile and dreaded Self-Righteous Skinny when they add this caveat of crapfulness: "Don't you feel better?" or "I am so glad you decided to get healthy and do that. I was worried about you." Don't say those things. Big people know they are big. It is not a surprise. Of course we feel better. We don't want to think about how awful we used to be. And don't treat fat people like they are one flight of stairs away from a triple bypass and heart attack. Be worried about yourself each time you fly or travel a long distance. If you MUST continue to make small talk, say something about how soon they will have to buy new clothes. Back to the questions.

How much have I lost? Since August it is 35 pounds. Since November 1st it is 21 pounds. I even lost weight over the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. So, up yours turkey! And mashed potatoes. And gravy. And stuffing. Man, will I be glad when the weight is all gone and I can up the calorie intake because I am doing more of a muscle building and toning workout instead of just all cardiovascular work.

What are you doing? I walk everyday. Everyday. No days off from the walking. Today I started walking two miles. Before that it was a mile and a half. I love the walking. It is becoming my favorite part of the day. I think a lot. Pray a lot. Listen to great music. And go into my own world. Like Alan Shore says, I enjoy solitude. I just prefer it around other people. And I am eating less. Revolutionary concept, I know. Eating a lot more fish. Chicken too. Lean steak. Tons and tons of veggies. Some good fiber based products. And everything else is low calorie. Pudding, yogurts, cereal, waterwaterwaterwater, wraps, tortillas, and a healthy supply of vegetarian things. All in all it is great. I love it and am convinced I can live this way forever. That is what it took. Just changing the way I think.

Soon all you self-righteous skinny people will be envious and I will then be in a position to look negatively on YOUR health. And you know what? I won't do it. I will just encourage you. But when I get home, I will take the pins out of the make-shift voodoo dolls I have more than likely made of you during fits where I wanted ice cream and couldn't have it while you feasted on it in front of me. Jerks.