Danielle-isms

I happen to be seeing the greatest woman I have ever met. I absolutely admire her. She is the best person I know. One of my favorite things about her is the way she misuses the English language. She has these malapropisms, these funny turns of phrasings. And I would absolutely be robbing the world of insight, humor and joy if I were to keep it all to myself; to hoard it like a greedy child on Christmas morning. So here are a few of my favorites:

"I could really use to see you." - This was said after a tough day. She meant to say something like, "I really need to see you now," or "A visit with you would really help me right now." There are probably a thousand ways to say this. But none have the charm or the strange honesty tied up. What I like about it: she really felt that way. She really wanted to see me. I really try to think things through, measure my words carefully like ingredients. So when I say something I really have thought about it, thought it through completely. I do it to impress people. I do it to get a favorable reaction. She said it because she meant it. She thought how she needed to see me. And her mouth couldn't get the words out fast enough. It humbles me that she stumbles over her words simply because she loves me that much, that seeing me would be a cool drink of water on a bad day. Is that not amazing?

"Relaxful." - This was said to convey comfort, like "that nap was relaxing" or "Goodness, that night's sleep was quite restful." I tried to explain that something cannot be "full of relax." It was really impossible. But she seems to be committed to it. And you have to respect that. And it gives me hope. If she can be so dedicated and loyal to such an odd word, she may just be able to be dedicated and loyal to an odd man, like myself. And relaxing is a word that can be used to describe how I feel around her. I really don't have to prove or protect myself. I hope all of you can find that in someone you love. A sense of comfort and strength that allows you to be transparent, genuine. There isn't much pretense between us. I don't have to guard myself. I am finally allowing myself the freedom to expose who I am. That is liberating and relaxing at the same time. You were thinking that I was going to use the word "relaxful" weren't you? Well, no, because it still isn't a word. And while she can misuse the English language like that, I refuse to.

So, for now, I will continue to pretend to be offended when she says things like that. I will exaggerate (her phrase is "being exaggeratory") at how often she abuses English. And each time it happens, more than likely, I will be absolutely crushed inside by how overwhelmingly wonderful she is. I don't deserve it at all. And for that, and for her, I will be forever grateful.