The First Day with The Widowmaker

So I worked out today, for the first time, with a trainer. Now, to be clear, it was not my first workout. It was my first workout under the watchful eyes of a trainer. My trainer is named AJ but I affectionately refer to him as "The Widowmaker."

I call him "The Widowmaker" because as he was working me out, he told me about all of the men who have had health problems and/or heart attacks while he was putting them through a workout. That is encouraging news.

So today he just taught me some things I could do at home. We are not looking to be a musclehead. I just needed some basic exercises that I could do at home. I have been walking on the treadmill or around my neighborhood since November almost every day. But I need to start building muscle, getting stronger and toning up. And after today, I need to strengthen my core - the back and specifically my lower back.

Man, we did some stuff for about an hour and a half that I thought was going to kill me. And the thing is I could barely do any of the exercises: new-fangled push-ups, twisting, pseudo pilates, crunches, some easy weight training, working on the big ball. Honestly, I was not that successful doing any of the exercises. At first I felt a bit embarrassed and somewhat humiliated. How could I not do some of these easy things? But my core is weak. So I must work on strengthening the core. Luckily, according to "The Widowmaker", my back and chest and stomach will get stronger rather quickly.

When your core is weak, it makes every exercise uncomfortable and really difficult. It is hard to get into the flow when your back hurts or your legs give out from overcompensation. And as I was being pushed through that, it absolutely resonated with me spiritually. When my core is weak, everything else is just taxing. When my spirit is not connected with God, everything I do that is God or church-related is tiring and maybe even discouraging. It is certainly an empty experience. My prayers seems to bounce around the room. My praise and worship falls flat. My Bible reading might has well be a quick glance over the latest Red Sox box scores.

But as my core strengthens, both physically and spiritually, the harder things seem to come easier. And when the harder things come easier, I can experience more of them. And as I experience more of them, I become stronger.

The lazy fat guy who has been in charge for 32 years is still around. A part of him always will be. But I have to stay motivated to get healthy, both physically and spiritually. I have to work out each day, somehow. I can let some muscle groups rest some days but I still need some basic exercise. I need to spend at least one day a week working my exercises very slowly to activate multiple layers of muscle. And some days I need to work through the exercises quickly, to really get some cardio action happening.

I have to connect with God each day, somehow. I can let some of the intense study and prayer lax some days but I still need the basic connection. I need so spend at least one day a week working my prayer life out, digging deeply into God's word and meditating a while on what He is saying to me to activate deeper layers of faith. And some days I need to work out my faith quickly, to cover a lot of ground to sort of reconnect with some of the broader and larger themes happening.

Funny how things happen. The best thing? "The Widowmaker" actually came to me on his own and asked if he could help me out. He was really encouraging and wants to keep doing this. So I will. I will get stronger. I will be faithful to what he has taught me. And ultimately, my core will be strong enough to really allow me to work out.

Thankfully, working with "The Widowmaker" has sort of reconnected me to The Lifemaker.