The Invisible Young Adult Department

Youth Ministers take personality hits all the time. Why? Because once these teenagers graduate into college, they stop going to church. I know. I was shocked too. They just NOW realized this? I knew it in 1994.

I am blessed here at my church. Our 18-25 year olds are very faithful and attend and serve and are a vital part of our fellowship. This isn't about my church specifically. Let me say that now. I am blessed to have many friends who are in their late teens and early 20's and are so great and faithful. This is more about the general criticism directed at youth workers from the church at large.

They act like there is something youth ministry or youth ministers can do to stem the tide of 18-25 year olds being an invisible element in church. And while there may be, let's revisit this from where most of us sit. Actually among that age group.

Most of the statistics out there show anywhere from 80-95% of people aged 18-25 are drop out of the church. First you need to know this about me. I always cast a very skeptical eye at any statistic. They survey 2000 people in New York, Ohio, Florida and Nebraska. How reliable are those numbers? However, I do know students graduate from high school and many also from their faith.

What could we do better in student ministry? That is always the question. Interestingly enough, it is posed by people selling you curriculum or a program idea that is specifically designed to aid in such a problem. How convenient. I most recently heard it from a Lifeway shill. He painted such a terrible picture of ineffective youth ministers and ministries, you would have thought every youth guy in the entire SBC was about to be on the unemployment line by Christmas.

They all raise questions. They all almost attack youth guys. And what is their practical step to help stem the tide of 18-25 year olds who are not coming to church in droves? Buy our book.

Great.

I have a little more insight, seeing as how I am not developing a book of curriculum (as far as you know). We have institutionalized the faith of our teenagers. Remember that predicament from Shawshank Redemption? Prison had totally formed their entire identity. Inside prison these men mattered, they had position and influence. Outside prison, they were just ex-cons.

From the time a church attender is born, their faith experience is basically programmed for them until they are 18. We plan the outings. We schedule the bulk of their spiritual formation with our teachings, events, weekly programs and camps. Parents leave most of that up to us. Teenagers leave most of that up to us. And then? Typically it stops.

We consider them adults. They go to college and most churches don't offer the same options. You go to Sunday school. You go to worship. You go to Wednesday Prayer Meeting and Gall Bladder Report. But there are no more trips. Maybe a retreat here and there. No more fun get togethers. No more Super Bowl parties and lock-ins. Unless you as an adult plan them. So now you are not only planning your life and your family, you have to plan your faith too?

The problem is we have not really equipped them to plan their faith. We have not really equipped them for that. The truth is we desperately need them to be co-dependant on us as Ministers to justify either our salary or our self-worth or purpose or all of the above.

The numbers say that churches are losing at least 3/4's of their college students. And it is our fault, apparently. Can you imagine what would happen if you inherited 40 sixth graders and by the time those kids were in 8th grade there were only 10 left? You would be under fire. You certainly couldn't go to the Children's Director and ask them what they heck they did wrong. You couldn't say that the Children's Ministry did not adequately prepare them for Youth Ministry. No, you have to take that hit.

I think Education Ministers come up with these stats to make them all feel better about adults not coming to church until they are in their 30's. Why actually think outside the box and problem solve when you can blame the Youth guy? Is it really that much of a stretch anyway?

And they never talk about the huge resurgence of church attendance by people in their late 20's and early 30's when they are bringing their families back to church.

So what can we do? I have some thoughts but none of them are complete and I would love to hear your thoughts too.

1. Develop relationships with them. Sounds easy. But sometimes their connection to their youth minister is really the only thing that may keep them around.
2. Give them the freedom to explore other churches. Maybe your church doesn't really hit the homerun with that age group. Let them go look. But you care enough to provide necessary insight into what they should be looking for. Any church that you can avoid actual in person attendance and just go worship online? Skip it. Any church where you may never actually meet the person who is preaching your sermon from another city? Skip it. The shepherd doesn't get to manage all the sheep on seven different mountains.
3. Show them what it means to serve God. Connect them to ministries and impress upon them the importance of a life of service. Not just a teenage experience.
4. Allow them to own some of your ministry. There is a fine line between student ownership of ministry and the inmates running the asylum though. Give them important leadership. But also press them to lead themselves.
5. Connect them to their faith in God through Christ. Don't allow them to live their spirituality vicariously through any personality, whether it be you, David Crowder or Billy Graham.
6. Keep up with generational markers and the the technology that is beginning to define their relationship management.

It has nothing to do with our silly facial hair or the ridiculous commitment we have to trendy hairstyles, backpacks and ball caps and flip flops. It has everything to do with a genuine concern and compassion for people. You can see your young adults thrive in church. And I guarantee you if they do thrive in your church, they are NOT giving you, the hard working youth minister, the credit, are they. I am really torn over this.

What say you? What else can you think of?