Wanted: Babysitter

So, nothing much new here. Just hanging out. Chillin' out, maxing, relaxing all cool. No, wait. That's not right.

My bride is having a baby! Holy cow! How awesome (and somewhat soon) is that!!!??? I have a theory on why it happened so soon.

I hadn't had sex until I was married. I think after over 33 years of that, everything sort of leaned in pregnant's favor. I am really excited though. I have always wanted to be a dad. I am pretty excited.

Here is what surprises and somewhat annoys me about my wife: she is like crazy in tune with her body. She didn't feel good a week ago Saturday so she decided to take a pregnancy test. Affirmative. Preggos. She was even right on target to how far along she was. I asked her what in the wide world of sports made her think to take a pregnancy test in the first place? She said her body didn't feel right. Didn't feel right. Last weekend, while she was hooping it up in OKC with all her friends and family, I was stranded in the Spa City all alone. One night, I slept on the remote to the ceiling fan (yes our fan has a remote...shut it David). And a book (sudoku is pretty addictive) and a pen. And my phone. I woke up the next morning on all of those items.

My wife blinks funny, she knows she is preggos. I sleep on a bed of remotes and books and phones. Nothing. Sometimes I find scrapes and scabs that I never knew I had. I worry that I have that disease which doesn't allow you to feel pain. However, if I can pass that onto my son or daughter, we could possibly start breeding a type of super baby. Well, I digress.

Did you know it costs like 200 bucks to have a baby boy circumcised? When we get to heaven, Abraham better reimburse me. Poor Abraham. Noah gets a rainbow.

So, remember us as we live our pregnant lives. Since Danielle is Dr. Bombay, we are looking at like eight whole months of her being great with child. It will seem like a looooong pregnancy. We also know it is early but I am already figuring out a name. If it is a girl: Eleanor Rigby. If it is a boy: Ringo Elway. Nice, right?

My wife is awesome. She will be a great momma. I hope I can be a good pops.


One final thing: When I told my mom she would be a grandma for the sixth time, she simply replied, "Already?" She sounded genuinely annoyed. Thanks mom. Sometimes, she loves too much.